E64 – Sex and Love

Sex and Love

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<Music> Mmm. Pull up yourself a chair. Sit down real still-like. Grab yourself some hot cocoa. It's time to settle in for some Mouse and Weens. Ooh. It feels so good, like a warm blanket over your face. Cozy, cool, real nice. Get ready for some Mouse and Weens.Defame who is he ready masks in it.

00:00:32 - 00:03:10
Oh my goodness. Whoop. Can you believe it? Whoop. Can you believe it? Here we are. We're back. It's amazing. It is. Mouse and Weens. I'm Mouse. I'm Joelle, who lives in San Diego with the kids. And over there? And I'm Weens. And I live in Los Angeles in a cottage with my kitty. Yay. A kitty cottage. Hot dog. Yep. Two kitties living over there. One there, one in your pants! Sorry. I don't know. Sick! Have you heard that reference? All right let's just get into it. Have you heard someone referred to your choo choo as a kitty? (laughter) Have you? No, I mean I've heard it. No one's referred to mine as that. Have they you? Yes! There was some guy and...yeah. How? Were you, like, laying down when he said this? How did it work out? I don't know. I mean, it was just like kitty talk about- (laughter) I don't know. What do you want to know specifically? Anyway, yes, what are some other names for the choo-- Wait, no no no no no. I want to know about this guy. Wait. Were you like dirty talking on the phone? Were you texting? Was he standing next to you? Where you laying down doing things? What...how did this come up? He would say things like Oh, don't you want me to blah blah with your kitty and blah blah blah. And it was so dumb to me. And you could tell you just like he probably says everyone to nothing personal. Do we have to talk about this? It's strange. I'm sorry. It's just so awkward and embarrassing. It's awkward! I know! What else..? I mean... No, it just makes me laugh when a pet name comes up for anything. I'm trying to think. This is why I can't get like-- I can't do sexy talk in the bedroom because I just end up laughing and making a joke out of the whole thing. And luckily I'm married someone who does the same thing so we're just like the comedy duo! Have you ever called anyone Sir? Have you called anyone Daddy? No. Why? I mean I really do just call him Daddy because he's the kids' dad. I go, "Daddy can you throw my shoes down?" Wow. Yeah. So you don't have any kind of fetishy thing, like, have you ever done any role-playing? Nope. Cheerleader? No. Angry mom? Yes. Well that comes naturally. Okay. No, I mean it really is super- I want to talk to couples- Hello? My name's- Wait what? I want to talk to couples who have done roleplaying. Let's get a couple people.

00:03:10 - 00:05:02 Okay so we found two of our girlfriends. One does not want to be named. And the second one wants her voice scrambled. Here we go.
Have you ever done role playing at all? I try. It goes for about five seconds and Chris just gets naked and lays there and goes, "Okay let's have sex" I'm like, "Just give me a few more minutes!" I go, "Just pretend..." And I'll go, "No you can't-" Or I'll start on him and I'll be going, "Oh you like long-time massage, guy?" And he'll go, "Aaah." He's just the worst reviews I just go in and I'll hit unlike so then does kind though he won't say a couple of tries and he just way or he'll Barbie Nick. I'm like Chris Sometimes. Sometimes I would like to take your clothes off. You have a little sleepy like I'll go on top of him and I'm like oh it's such a comfortable position to sleep because I'm like now it's known now okay so recently like suspects things that we do a little role play so initially said okay. The first thing that came to my mind was I'm a college student. You're my professor. That whole powerful thing sneaking around behind everyone's back and I want you like you know. Don't don't tell anyone at school but also don't give me a grade just because having sex like I wanted to be based on my my real work but then it got kind of weird because he was underneath could you in a and I'm like Il. No that could be kind of lost at this movie blister. Wonderful from like the early nineties.

00:05:02 - 00:10:02

Matt Dillon William Hurt. She went back to college. She's older and she gets involved with her professor Sir and all along you know she she wants to make sure like even though they're having a thing like this he really value her as smart Erzen as he really thinks she's going to go somewhere as a writer and and all this and at the Elliott finally break up and she's like what about may work. What about my work? And he's like we're thinking about that. When I was anyways it was like I'm GonNa give you this guy? Malaria powerful kind of secret dirty behind the scenes. Totally and see. That's how you space it up in the ridge when you're with this guy for so long it's like on a new. You always seems to come back to because I think I'm super dominant person in our relationship. I want him to be like the super strong and it doesn't income is actually to him because it's hard with me you know I don't make it easy you know so there's always that little part of me that wants him to be that super tough overbearing. Br You against the wall but doctor you heard. Don't bite me but like forceful okay. I don't know what what story that's going to be but I think I liked it. Have you done the role playing thing I gotta here. You're swinging single. You've got all these stories. I think one time wanted me to be cheerleader. But it was so dumb. No no I know you're thinking no that wasn't like that there were new cheers. Like how do you stop. This is why you crack up when you try to. W GIMme Gimme a D.. And put it in her. Sorry Brandy Hope. And how did the cheerleader. But the way I can't do to people interviewing a sex worker like we were talking the whole time so I'm out. Have some special guessed the is going to be interviewed and and he does you know he's a sensual dumb. Why is maybe it's because I'm thinking about my ex-boyfriends Dad's name was don on? And he was this little meatball of a man he was bald and he was a butcher. And so I'm just thinking sensual Don Lake take rubbing feathers on. I don't know anyway cheerleader. But anyway cheerleader. Oh it was just stupid. I think it was everything that what we do is always joking. Funny like you're saying to good some not so I don't know just some too. I think I tried to put on some kind of like a Jersey but look like a man and then and then like I think I put my hair big deals like we then that was it. It and I think it didn't really go anywhere. We just started laughing probably watch TV off. It doesn't so hard at his fantasy of cheerleaders. Come I'm from does. He was the common theme. I don't it probably I mean look at all the I think. Number One watch porn for men is barely teen gene porn and everybody looks like baby dolls and pigtails. And Geyser guys are dirty. Wow Weird so I mean not wearing. No shame being the what. You're in new as long as it's legal. Yeah but all right good to know. I remember watching that Adam. Corolla man show the stuff and it was always the girls on the trampoline bouncing around rates. So maybe there's a bouncy thing happening I think so. I don't know well maybe I don't know. I think people get trapped where they had the best time a lot of people. It's high school rank Yeah maybe reliving theory the good old days. Yeah Uh this is true right that makes sense. Yeah so what's the wacky thing he didn't sack wacky sack Dude assist so awkward. I sign up. People who've listened to your mom's passing. Yeah Abbott's doesn't everyone do it a little Poggi bowl and honestly it's really like basic boring stuff. I don't think anyone would find anything.

00:10:02 - 00:15:04

Do wackier wild. So I'm just GONNA leave it at that. Do you just get off this topic a little bit. Okay okay. We originally opened this up to. Should we just start this whole thing over. No it's fine. I think this is fine. Okay so obviously. It's uncomfortable comfortable to talk about this because it's a whole public thing but maybe we can talk about just the relationship part of it. How when you feel like it's it's time to a half sex you know and you've I started dating somebody? How many dates in do you go? Bang it out on the first date because he got it over with to go with like what instincts are telling. Can you just do it. What is your do you have rules that? Go with that. You're asking me well. I have been recently indulging in the What is it? It's Levin diction classes and stuff like that. So if you have a propensity such as myself to get lost in a fantasy world which is also you know a lot of people with the creative creative brain which is all of us. I would say that some people have the propensity. I'm trying to appease to to get into a fantasy place and have unrealistic expectations such as when you go on a first date you start picking out your wedding dress. Wizard is it now. Is that real love prediction or is that just having fun thinking about what this could be in. This might be our fun future. I don't know I've done that with everybody. You kind of really suss it up with everybody yet. My weird is this thing. I think the difference might be if you're so I've been studying being upon this very much And it's There's a whole theory called attachment theory attachment theory everyone because it sounded like attachment but it is the idea that there are some people who are insecurity attached versus securely attached. And it would have happened when you were younger to your primary primary caregivers or it may have happened with traumatic circumstances in the formative years so but mostly they say for from parents if you're securely attached then you have healthy expectations of your relationships like Oh we'll go on a date if that person doesn't call in a couple of days as they're probably busy and I'm sure they'll call soon and you go about your life and for the remain category glorious. I believe and there's different. There's some you can really get into this. Make brief can just really quick. What is a healthy attachment? Like what is appearance due to make sure their kids helpfully attached. What does I think it is when you have needs that you meet the kids needs? So you're there Erin available when they cry you comfort and your basically hearing them seeing them in attending to their needs so the kid goes. Okay when when there's an issue someone's there to help with occurred and they're being heard and seen in the ones who had traumatic experiences were were have a narcissistic parent whose unavailable emotionally a lot of times. Those kids will become Insecurity really attached or the Blanco. Green draw place. 'cause there's always annoys attached. What's the BOB's Burgers wait? Great that's marge mortgages sister whether the one Tina Tina Aw Oh god I feel like turning to clinical mess of verbal mouth. You know what I'm talking about anyway. There are the anxious attached. If you're an anxious person there's like fearful anxious. There's all these other categories if you're anxious than you'll be the one that is like Trying to get the guy to call you back and you chase them and you usually choose. A person who is a void. Didn't waited so then your circle of dysfunction content this is a lie of the people in especially love ethics so they'll choose and unavailable partner partner that they could chase and they want attention and that person's always aloof and distant not giving it to them. So You keep you know. You're the biggest fan Dan. You're trying to get attention and then as soon as you go screw this.

00:15:04 - 00:20:01

I'm GonNa do this anymore and you walk away. Then they come after you. In underlying core four of both people are banned. -ment issues and fear of intimacy. Wow because they did not know healthy intimacy was like when they were younger. A younger of Freudian based stuff where you know to recreate your relationship with your parent. No no I don't think you know a lot of these folks say that you will continue to play out what's comfortable love to you so you keep trying to come to a different conclusion vision in your relationship this if you had a a narcissist father. Let's say an you might choose those partners this and then you're always trying to create different ending. Like I want that person to finally turn around and say I do and I hear you and then you're creating creating a different ending your brain somewhere. I got my conclusion on it. I see like your retraining. You're you know writing the end end of your story in a better way. While do you think that's interesting. You totally do you think that's your situation. Do you feel like dad was narcissist. I think our father who art in heaven name Hi Dead I think you know. He was a great and loving person. I think he was definitely somewhat unavailable And and I think overall he probably and I might have been more susceptible to it somehow manages paid more attention to it or related the two more whatever but I think in my experience he was more of a talker and not a listener in he was kind of all over the place so he was was not very available at some point to just be like. Oh I have a kid and this kid probably has a lot of needs because their child and I will put my needs aside because I chose to have a frigging kid but I think we saw a a lot of like. We were given a lot of his problems as kids to somehow were kids going out. We should help. Our Dad work through his issues. He's right yeah he as a teacher he'd be home after school and so we just had a lot of time with him as I mean dude and yeah I think he did start to really lean on us as we got into our teenage years. But I'm just wondering how come it didn't affect me me necessarily that way. I mean I don't know maybe I have stuff I could look out to but no I wonder if you don't feel it you don't need yeah. I wonder if he I kind of morphed into this narcissist when you're still young but I was older so I was already gone through that phase where it yeah well I s mom. I asked her sorry if he was and she goes well. I gave her like checklist thing and she said No. I don't think he really really cared about your girls. and He loved you a lot and he tried to be a really good father and maybe there are a couple of things but I think she said that When somewhere after his dad died then he started getting really into therapy and men's groups and all that stuff and so that's when the change things got weird? Yeah I guess what do you think is yeah. Just you know what I'm doing right now. I'm thinking my head. What the title title of this episode is going to be? How are we going to do sex and dad awesome getting? Here's her logical science green gene. No but I guess it is. It's kind of sex addiction and like where does it start. So yeah it's inevitable. I guess if it starts with the parents So what do you do if you kind of feel like you have this well and you had said to. We've talked about this offline but and you had said that when you're playing this cat and mouse game you get hits of Dopamine so it really is like being addicted to a drug thing so it's almost I mean that's why it's it's called addiction love addiction so I think it is literal like your brain is getting fired up and if you used to going for those I I guess the cheap thrills more a lot of people with this love addiction or sex addiction or it's very much about For the love addiction people a lot of about the beginning stages of the relationship. Because that's when you're feeling all the butterflies honeymoon phase necessarily a Lotta people.

00:20:01 - 00:25:25

She because her feeling that feeling again which is the all all of that the newness and everything but it is definitely hitting your dopamine receptors. I right so people. Sorry is the therapy. Like twelve step then. Is it kind of based around that you could go to those goes yes. There's sex and love addiction anonymous and their sex addiction anonymous of SAS LA. And I think there's a porn one into for success important addicts anonymous. Someone said that but so that's a way to continue like for me. I just went to this weekend course and it was to say. How come I keep choosing Weirdo guys? And what's the kind of these dysfunctional emotional shelf guys so mine was more in love addiction impart. I don't relate as much to sex addiction but Yes you can go to those twelve step meetings and that is a really great way to you. Change your behavior. Because here's an example of this is something we showed in the course because I went to the center for healthy sex and last as we can for Judas of eight hour days and it was very illuminating with ten women and everybody's bringing in different issues and was years is kind of a common story was like kind of the MIA. Yeah there's a lot of people who and you could call it on the love addict. I'm sure there's you call it codependent you can call it You know your self worth is not up to par like there's probably other ways to describe that's the easiest way describe it. I us but they showed a video like a formative video. You can get on Youtube and it was called the road to Brighton and it was the singlish lady and she was talking about. I'm not going to do that. It's yes I will take. The road chip Reid cool. Take take try that just trying to go all out there right now. It's great go well. Six my exquisite. Yes so you feel good for you could try to pay more distinguish rush wait. No that's not still in the gutters. Okay anyway so the roads had Brayton everyone now. Imagine keepdriving down Brighton. It's an exciting place. You just so you keep driving down this one. They related to a neuropathy in the brain. So if you're always say driving to Brighton Britain's really fascinating town. Let's just call it Las Vegas here okay. Okay so hello you've been for years. You love taking a trip to Las Vegas. That's where you get a high. That's where you get the dopamine you love going to Vegas But Vegas also burns you out and it makes you really tired after you get home and you over to Ge- in it's a little too crazy but that's where you know to go. And the the highway goes directly from like it's in A. It's a highway traveled many times. Get your drug dopamine mean so now this is what we're training ourselves to do is to take a side path when you go to skokie Nebraska go and explain this somewhere else. That's a side trip. Why don't you just Joshua tree cheese? Cool it's not as exciting but you start going there you hang out with some friends now. There's a different way to get dopamine. Might not be as crazy. But it's not Las Vegas and then you go to this other side little little seaside town with you know that could be meditation and jogging. That's the way to get some dopamine not going to be and then over time the roads to those the other places are going to be more paved and the road to Las Vegas will be. It'll get some potholes. You'll start having weeds that grover it. Neuro pathway is now not so strong strong. See now nice analogy and did that resonate with you. You like a Ha- ah Yes. That's what I you know. I mean I kind of removed a lot of the bad behavior stuff then this popped up is very dopamine. Hit who so. I don't drink anymore. That was a good thing and then I Calm down on dating. Doing you know getting together with Weirdos and some now I realize yes but I have probably taken shortcuts to dopamine now that I am cutting off these two sources I want want to take Rick Semen son driving school so now that will be my new way to have some dopamine in the interesting so to get your so.

00:25:25 - 00:30:04

Yeah that makes sense. Okay well think about it. We've got some people in our family who liked to jump in the car chase ambulances. We've got some other people that in. I love this this. I almost went on a stakeout. The other night to go check to see if someone's partner was cheating on him and I got my wig out tonight. We were go and stakeout had a fake moustache from a friend in a wig and I had a whole outfit and I was so excited. This was more important than doing anything else in writing I was to go on a stakeout so I know that I have that part of my brain that just wants like a little zoom zoom. So maybe it's either that We've got a gene and our family. Possibly that is you know I I guess probably on Dad said maybe more there's a little bit of we'll call them adventure pups ups pizzazz yet like seeking the adventure. Okay which might be my theory is maybe dopamine levels are low in the brain and that's genetic no what if that that makes sense to me. Yeah and I mean it has to do with personality too and how you've taken all this stuff so I like that theory. That makes this all mixed so much sense but okay but it's also could it be cheaters way of getting pleasure. I think for me. It might be avoiding intimacy. I think my stuff came from having sex too young and with a couple of people who addicts And then I just shut down from true intimacy that I think is my main thing. Yeah I think happened early enough to just kind of screw me up for a while. So now I'm unscrewing Do you hear that boy. She's unscrewing so back off. Stay away but So that's pattern. Maybe maybe it's we'll dad. Maybe it's a little. They did say that. There's a Oh mom don't get mad. They did say a lot of the attachment stuff has to do with mother But also dead so so I don't know what do you think I don't know I don't know how we could have been differently. Raised by MOM. That would have been better. Are I think she was Deal but she I totally can see how all this is is how it makes sense. This this is wild. Do you feel free like a high. No I have some steps forward. This is good. It's hopeful I duNno. Where are you now? Yes because I think just having the analogy of going in rushing to get a dopamine highs is not the way to go which you know could calm me down from having with creative projects? That's what I think. Creativity cities mixed in with sexuality. And all that stuff for me you know get fired up about something in like oh I should write about this. I gotta right about this. But it's done in this real zingy panic kind of right okay. So I think all those like receptors are firing and also oh fires with creativity that with the Internet is separate the two like how do you I think. Now I have to see you have heard work creative twinkies twinkies. What you're saying no I gotta believe me I grabbed? My twinkie will shine with tainted juice. You tell me about you and all this stuff because as you feel like we're raising Sam I think you probably think that I'm over doing this. Whole thing right? No no no. I don't think you have to do what makes sense to you. Do and find answers for your questions. I think this is great. I just think were different personalities and we have different brain chemistry straight away and so for you straight away the Road Brighton but that you have that desire more maybe for the dopamine and you kind of always have you've always a little higher you've always been a little more jazz hands and running around and I don't want to label but maybe ad or whatever you want to say for that you know in a negative way but in a wonderful creative like I wanna do this now.

00:30:04 - 00:35:03

I WANNA do that. You know and it's called eighty. Well I don't know I mean if it's a clinical thing gorgeous like a creative thing honestly so I think you just are more that way without paying dolls eating the carpet on fire the eating and not boring in so who's to say but I do. I think you just always have higher energy and so that what is more attractive to you and getting that little rush of whatever brain chemical that is yeah maybe lower or whatever and you need it. I like that theory that makes sense mind Made up but I think it's right for me and then maybe it's the birth order thing to maybe because I was the type a child in I was already older as tight eight mile. I didn't need dad's attention as much or whatever and I was a know it all and I was good on my own. And your mom's buddy too right. Yeah everything and maybe I didn't have a place there to know kitsch. I think we both had a place you just were are interested in all the domestic arts. I I was like Oh this. Is it exciting stuff how to make a pie. You gotTa crimp the edge like this really acute. I'm I'm still holding a friendsgiving on Sunday so rally but to me I would cater the party and not not do anything right. Well I have a foot in both camps right now. I'm kind of more of that lately. This'll be my one big whoop whoop but everything else is low. ooh Key bring a crock pot of Chili paper bowls and make it simple. Because I just don't know I think it's great. Yeah but it's fun to get fancy dance every once in a while. So we're getting fancy but fanzine. Costco a provide everything costco. See here. I go with all this boring stuff. Who cares back to the care? So what do you think is going to be your your final exam. When are you going to feel like dipping twinkie? Back in the Pool Twain. How do you know when you're done being therapist? Or when is it gonNA feel. I Dunno healthy. The winter's over I can expose the twinkie chilly right now. Let it grow over that road to Brighton. Get some potholes grover Taken out here at off. Go back to hear sweet little Korean waxing lady and rip those full rip that pavement right up. I just wonder whoever has to pick up that carbon just a hair taped tracks imagined that sick garbage guy is like like Jesus but what if he was like a pervy garbage caney put him on his wallet. It's day the Disney tape couch at home that he rose pugh museum and he has people come in kind of like sixteen candles or the dollar to see the under everybody. Everybody just brings people into see twin tape walls like a serial killer instead of seeing how someone has those things on the wall like that person that person with the strings. This one's just doing tape everywhere and just this serial guy in the middle. That's out funny anyway. I love it really. Wouldn't when do you think you'll be like okay. I'm really courting. According to P. A. Melodies book she is a groundbreaking love addiction specialist in addiction. PM Melody Kerr Book. Says it's three to five years. Wow No of full recovery. She thinks that's been a standard thing after years of research. But I'm not gonNA listen to all well then I'm gonNA listen to this a little kiddy growly should treat lobes NAS age saying well. How long has it been? When was the last role in the? Hey Joe Thirty for chrissakes. O our mother I'm here ways. Sex of shameful. Let's let's talk about that right. Should we be ashamed. I knew I'M GONNA give out little dizzy. Company called Dame it's got vibrators is for women it's designed for women and they are when Mike holds. The Labia folds put it over your clitoris when you're having man intercourse course or female of course with the Ding. And you would face right now doc. My eyes are so wide and my mouth.

00:35:03 - 00:40:06

Is it a little OCHEJ. Because I'm trying to figure out. Wait a minute. What'd you put where I don't physics? It is a clitoral stimulator that you instead of having to hold it when you're having served like Ding dongs. 'cause I'm saying strap on for the lesbian so ding-dong strap on sex okay. You would put this vibrator over your clitoris and it wraps around the folds your Labia with a belt line because your waist try and understand. Where does it go I I I just I could give you the website link? Okay dink link in TWINKLE twinkle inkling and it goes around the Labia. Do you know which part is it's the lips. I got that much so kind of wraps around like I would say Terry Chiller Lake fishing. Oh Oh is it like that game where it holds your lips open and you have to like the dentist. A low speculative thing I closed. WHO's the lips for because it has to wrap around that part in it's going it's buzzing button and then okay is it like is for females hair claus thing that you clip your butts in the back more like that? Yes but boy. Can you mention that on their spring and shut Yau's we also know that would hurt a bear trap. Okay so your point is you have toy. She's well I'm saying that these are products created for women I read about and what is the point. You asked me something about the three to five years one was the last time I wo- so so you're somewhere the mark no probably somewhere around a couple. Yeah because it's been two years we've had this podcast. I oh okay so yeah less probably a year and a half then okay. Oh I was thinking it was three I was like all right. I'm almost out of the woods here. Sorry you've Anyway I think that therapy or however you heal is up to your own pace kind of like grieving. Everyone there is no oh time limit. Except there's probably ways to move it forward by doing things every day by going to your SA classes by Going Lena therapy they say individual therapies for good or sexy love. Therapist is someone who specializes in that What do you think about all this? I think it's great. I think if you have guidance and people that are also relating to your stories it can only be good it can only help. And and if there's a pattern that you know therapists have seen and they have a time line that you know stick to this. This has been works for other people. People tried out in your comfortable with it. Yeah heck out go for it and then yeah. So that's it's exciting and good for that is is there part of you that Mrs all of it and feels like I don't know time is clicking by and this is all fully or are you totally thing comfortable. No I'm just trying to put myself in your shoes and I think part of me would say I'm this personality. This is me just like how burn black and white like I'll just get through it and deal with myself or whatever you know. I've never been to therapy. Not been to one therapy session ever in my life because I felt like it didn't do anything for me now. I don't know well you don't need it if you don't need a UNITA and maybe I'm a person who wants to talk more about feelings and wants to get allies things to death. No but that's good says you but ah I know to me. I guess it's Kinda fascinating too but you know. Instead of reading fifty shades of Grey I would read a book on attachment disorders right. And that's it's like exciting to me I don't know let's good mental disorders. I like Whatever Weird mindhunter serial killers? I see this is good. This is getting inside the Breen's understanding the brains the brain of the eggs. I like that. You don't have have this wish that my brain just kind of I mean maybe I talked to Blake about this like if if I had real direction and purpose and maybe something that was much important. Maybe I just wouldn't have time to Dick around like this but but also I think it's a lifetime of choosing kind of unhealthy partners might be a a reason to look into that. Yeah did you like any of the guys I dated. I mean maybe of I like Blake. He's still interested. So that's cool. I like that he was when you're I mean squeezes back in the day but that was it out of the few I think so.

00:40:06 - 00:45:01

Yeah I mean fishermen Davis Cute too. Yeah so those two. So that's two out of all right. What about you did you feel like you chose pretty healthy not people who wanted to kill his dad? I know we name him asshole Dave. He was another David and he was a Weirdo cheated on me. He was the one guy that kiss his someone behind my back and it ruined me because before that I was just confident and things were going long well and that was in college and it just sent me down. The spiral of insecurity is a little rough but got back on the wagon and then fell featured decay. Okay so I don't know yeah. I feel like we're well matched and we get each other. It's been fifteen years of marriage and ten more of dating so we've been together twenty. I five years and that's amazing. Yeah it's Kinda crazy but it's good. I mean of course the thing in any relationship. You're you're always gonNA go back to. Oh I wish I could feel like it did in the beginning in the honeymoon phase flutters and all that kind of stuff so you just have to do those things that get that back. Take little weekends away and go to a hotel and leave the light on when you have sex not really. I don't know I mean it's just we're in such a little sweet pattern that I don't think it's pattern. There's is nothing that you go. Oh God I wish I mean sometimes frequency could be a little more we have we are six crazed females sales. Maybe I don't know I do have a little high in the department so that's fine and I have my ways but I also realized like I do not after the kids go to bed and it's like do we go to bed early to so it's like fun time and sometimes we owe but Netflix has so many great shows on John. Let's watch that so now we're just tired and you know the typical marriage thing but yeah if you word if it ever feels OUGHTA balance I would I would have a talk and step it up and make more of an effort but it must be all right. 'cause I'm rolling right along. What if I sent you one of these these toys? If I bought you one for Christmas I have one I never use it needs. We'll find vibrator or Ding Dong pusher. Let's we got to work on the name a vibrator. So why are you so after after I said because I'm thinking could you have a vibrator that's also the inside ding-dong it no oh always on top a little oh sweating. It's like a little anything what it sounds awful. But what are those little a little nasal inhalers. You have a cold so I can think of. It's like a re up to chapstick like that. Oh so that just goes on the top or in part. Oh we saying the the clan clan your that. I could hear them first time name. 'cause I want you to feel what I feel when you renew with questions. Don't say ream I like twelve purple right right now. I'm sweating. Why Deodorant is off? I don't know because I have three kids on the other side of the door. Now that their mom's sitting here talking voted rid twin washer. What you call? I still don't know what that is. What's a tweet like the DILDO? Strap on I think so. Like the Insein Nine. Yeah Okay Battle. Ram well to enclosure vetter insure insure. Let's we think our whole originally idea was to talk about passion which we didn't really get to that at all but well you know we have future episodes that we will. Aw hit that passion stick hard passion strong and barely controllable emotion That's the definition passion Fervor Ardor enthusiasms zeal mean peasants emotion compelling action has show yes. Okay all right.

00:45:01 - 00:50:06

We'll get there and we'll talk passion in love more love and sex from You love and sex experts not me. That was yeah. No that both are not experts. Both are strangely shameful and we need to get better about being open about this week. Could we should should should shame. Amy Shame. Read Word Faith whom I only have to head An. I'm almost done. Let's close it out. Goodbye you're you're talking to someone else. I don't know he's gone. See this is the stuff it is a shameful thing. I feel sneaky like I have to go. You were sneaking so you didn't want to Bahir you talking about this. I didn't even know he was home. He's fine no you know what it's like a whole public thing to like who's listening. Don't tell them bedroom. Keep bedroom things in which I get there. Is that like I live in a community where it's it's kind of like not okay. I do I live in length. This little Palmer road is called Church row it's very you're not Cherchi and Your Business Card for Mousa means says we talk about sex of family. If anyone wants business cards call us. We'll give them to you. You can pass them out. You can tell people it's a sex podcast without with shameful talks. I'm trying to work it out. What's working out live? It's embarrassing way. What do you want your kids to hear in in think? And if I'm not talk at least healthy six I think it's all personnel. Its personality mixed with life experience mixed with whatever. Yeah Yeah I didn't I don't I also don't want to be peer pressured into divulging. All my secrets are secrets. That are my personal like life in the bedroom right well like I love you but you live in La. which I feel like it's very open in wild and everybody talks about everything and sex shops and and I don't and it's comfortable for me here because this is a life that I kind of picked in so to feel like nick? You have to talk about sex and you have to write about sex and you have to you know. How often do it just feels a little peer pressure? And I'm like a little worried worried about kids. My kids hearing it straight up. That's that's the concern. I don't care about other adults as my kids. So okay I mean that's always gonNA be my number. One is like raising proper kids. I want them to be attached properly. Almost good stuff right. I don't know sorry I meant the fact that we're about about to interview a sex worker. I know well that's someone else's story that feels safer to me that's more like in entertainment You know to share anything. Yes just like to keep some mines mine. I apparently don't because there's three electrician talking about twinkies and they all have cups on their ears or oh I love you I totally totally respect your openness and and position in the whole thing. I think it's great. It's good and if I didn't no children I would be there with you. So they're okay. I respect that also a respect all around. Well I was going to do a podcast. Shout for Hashtag. The no offense show. They are cooled people. They threw us on their podcast. Recently and Look them up please. It's called the no offense show. There's a Hashtag in there in the beginning and you can find them in all social media with a t and S so please check them out and follow them. It's a couple and they talk about anything everything no-holds-barred and they're they're fun so there you go. Yeah who wins. You WanNA close this out with other good stuff. I think that's it. I'll just say check out the facebook page all the social media and the twitter's and the my space and and what else are the kids using friendster friendster and deal magic beans. Oh yeah mouse and Wiens here to tell you reproduction. Wink relation by penetration it up into board bringing consummation sister partner the pink see beard splitting Hey Compaign K.. Interior designing pump pump hoping unscrewing shocking. Lay down four down. Clinton person turning having the mother of dirty deed going in the hey porky.

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Holy do Dat Gat Nasty Floppy Skiing Sarah clocking and pompey having burping were hiding the bishop writing things George roughing up that subject playing tetris copy poisoning those fun humping for pumping curd.