E128 - Raising Teens, Marriage Tune-up, Making a Documentary

00:00:02:24 - 00:00:41:23
Intro
Podfix. This is Howard Cosell. Up and down. All around. I don't believe it. The jab to the left at Mouse. Weens steps back and looks forward and says, "I'm going to get you. Sucker <music> Mouse and Weens Theme Song <music>

00:00:42:06 - 00:00:52:11
Mouse/Jo
Hello. It is s it is. I mouse. I'm Joelle. I am the San Diego mom, wifey cat dog, kid lady.

00:00:52:24 - 00:01:02:15
Weens/Juls
And I'm Weens, otherwise known as Julianne and I'm available to party! Woo! Swinging Ween.

00:01:02:18 - 00:01:13:05
Mouse/Jo
Which I love because you just talked to me yesterday about is it weird that I never want to go out or do anything? Is it me or is it just the times?

00:01:13:11 - 00:01:14:10
Weens/Juls
Yeah. Could it be?

00:01:14:15 - 00:01:15:21
Mouse/Jo
I don't know.

00:01:15:21 - 00:01:21:11
Weens/Juls
I think apparently it's good times because a lot of people are having a hard time readjusting after COVID.

00:01:22:02 - 00:01:37:05
Mouse/Jo
True, although it's been quite a while, but hey, you know what I say? Be authentic. And if you don't want to go out, don't go out. It's overrated. You spend too much money and you have to get all jhughzed up. And I'd rather stay in my sweatpants yeah.

00:01:37:05 - 00:01:39:15
Weens/Juls
Kind of with you, really. I mean. Okay.

00:01:40:04 - 00:01:41:23
Mouse/Jo
Right there. Cozy. Yeah.

00:01:41:23 - 00:01:48:07
Weens/Juls
I enjoy sweatpants. Our father used a lot of sweatpants in his day. Yeah. Do you notice you did?

00:01:48:11 - 00:01:50:15
Mouse/Jo
I thought about that just today.

00:01:50:15 - 00:02:03:00
Weens/Juls
Yeah, our mother does not. She's not as sweaty. I've just had a cold that I obtained from a young daughter who we called Typhoid Charlotte because she's always the ground zero germ spreader.

00:02:03:04 - 00:02:09:17
Mouse/Jo
Yeah. And I think by us sharing this mike right here, we're on YouTube, too. You can see how close we are to hockey.

00:02:09:17 - 00:02:15:14
Weens/Juls
I don't need to know what you eat. Smells like some kind of garlic.

00:02:15:15 - 00:02:17:20
Mouse/Jo
No. Leftover hot dog.

00:02:18:00 - 00:02:19:12
Weens/Juls
Oh, gosh.

00:02:19:12 - 00:02:20:01
Mouse/Jo
 I mean sausage... artisinal.

00:02:20:01 - 00:02:23:11
Weens/Juls
Too much sodium nitrate so bad.

00:02:24:10 - 00:02:31:03
Mouse/Jo
No, I think. Are we going to pass it back and forth? Or once we've built up our viral load, we're okay now.

00:02:31:09 - 00:02:32:16
Weens/Juls
I might pass it to you.

00:02:32:16 - 00:02:55:19
Mouse/Jo
So I think I already have it, though. Okay. Anyway, let's. All right, Weens. Let's jump into our topic today. I am going through some teenage changes. If you guys don't know, I have a 16 and a half year old. A 15 and a half year old, both boys. And then a 11 year old girl. So...

00:02:57:11 - 00:03:05:19
Weens/Juls
It sounds like you are going through teenage changes. Oh, yeah. You've already been through them. Yes. Yours is more, I will say perimenopausal.

00:03:05:19 - 00:03:10:04
Mouse/Jo
Yeah. My teenage boobs have now become perimenopausal.

00:03:10:05 - 00:03:14:12
Weens/Juls
Pancake flaps hanging on the side of a fence. 

00:03:14:12 - 00:03:45:02
Mouse/Jo
They're still nice. They're just lower than they were, right? Yeah. As my friend Melissa says, 20, 40, 20, 40. I'm raising my hands up. The up ones are the twenties, downs are the forties. Yeah. I mean, they used to line up with like, my armpits. There are way up here. Now they're down here. But they're still in the same shape. I don't know. Who cares. They did their job. They're done. They can...They can retire now. Into my I need a nice bra. Anyway.

00:03:46:01 - 00:04:08:11
Weens/Juls
You had humans hanging off of them for a while. (I did.) It's interesting. What a bizarre human... I thought about the... They call that the African Ankle Shooters but a lot of people who have never had brassieres in their life and they you just see people hanging out without shirts in the savannahs and things. And wouldn't that be uncomfortable?

00:04:08:18 - 00:04:10:21
Mouse/Jo
Did you see that when you traveled in...?

00:04:12:01 - 00:04:12:17
Weens/Juls
Namibia?

00:04:12:17 - 00:04:13:07
Mouse/Jo
Namibia.

00:04:13:14 - 00:04:26:16
Weens/Juls
Yeah. Yeah. Just shirtless and hanging. The half the women and yeah, except I will say they didn't have these old German longhorns. They were they were a little more tight and tight.

00:04:26:18 - 00:04:34:00
Mouse/Jo
Oh, yeah, that's right. I mean, honestly, we put way too much pressure on ourselves for the boobaladges.

00:04:34:15 - 00:04:37:00
Weens/Juls
My boobs are great and fine if they're long.

00:04:37:03 - 00:04:42:04
Mouse/Jo
Yeah, that's right. Not that we know anything about (both say) long boobs.

00:04:43:13 - 00:04:51:20
Weens/Juls
That's our tagline. "Not that we know anything about long boobs." All right, so tell me what's going on in your teenage world.

00:04:52:13 - 00:05:27:06
Mouse/Jo
Well since we last recorded, I mean, I think we've been talking about vacations and things like that, but the boys have changed. We've been going through stuff. So the 16 and a half year old is finally driving. Yay! He got his his license officially after all this time, practicing with the permit and driving with me. And I'm sad for the time. It was a fun time to sit in the passenger seat with him. And we would talk and it was focused time without a frickin device in his hand, you know.

00:05:27:21 - 00:05:29:09
Weens/Juls
And for 10 minutes.

00:05:29:16 - 00:05:42:23
Mouse/Jo
Well, yeah, short little drives. But it was nice and I kind of miss that, but I'm very happy for him that he passed his license exam. I'll let you finish drinking. Gurgly audio!

00:05:42:23 - 00:05:43:13
Weens/Juls
Is that okay?

00:05:43:18 - 00:05:57:09
Mouse/Jo
Mhm. And he now takes Elliot everywhere to So now I don't have to drive Elliot. So all of a sudden I went from carpooling mom to not-needed mom.

00:05:57:16 - 00:05:58:17
Weens/Juls
Oh, is that really? It's...

00:05:58:17 - 00:06:09:08
Mouse/Jo
Well, it feels like that, but no, it's not. I mean, they still need me, but I really. I don't have to drive. Yeah, it's weird. It was like a big part of my job description, right? I'm the driving mom.

00:06:09:09 - 00:06:11:13
Weens/Juls
So you don't feel relief at all?

00:06:11:13 - 00:06:41:11
Mouse/Jo
I do feel relief, but I also feel sadness. It's just a big change, you know? And then you moved in, and you have been driving Charlotte, so I'm off the hook for that one. So I really only do a one-way trip now with the child, and it's a big change. I don't know. It's weird. It's just one of those things. I was reading something that as a parent, you go through tiny little uh, what is it called? Mournings. Like you mourn a little bit with each stage.

00:06:41:18 - 00:06:48:15
Weens/Juls
So what is that? I don't understand that. So is it that they're getting closer to leaving and then you don't know your purpose in life anymore?

00:06:48:23 - 00:06:57:05
Mouse/Jo
Not that it's a purpose. It's just your job description has changed. It's like changing departments at a workplace and changing, like,

Weens/Juls
careers entirely.

00:06:58:11 - 00:07:16:09
Mouse/Jo
Not yet. I think it's more of, "Bye people on floor one. I'm going to floor two now. I will remember these years and days. It was fun." And then you go up the elevator, but you're still at the same company.

00:07:16:23 - 00:07:18:11
Weens/Juls
So the company is the house?

00:07:18:11 - 00:07:19:16
Mouse/Jo
Yeah, the floors.

00:07:19:16 - 00:07:21:09
Weens/Juls
Of the stages. And.

00:07:22:01 - 00:07:31:06
Mouse/Jo
Yeah, okay, we... I didn't want to get into the whole me...yeah.  We're going to talk about you. All right, let's table that. This is just stuff I want to talk about. There are a couple..

00:07:31:11 - 00:07:38:09
Weens/Juls
You know, I like to get into do it while you're flowing. So the teen stuff is a little bit of grieving and mourning.

00:07:38:14 - 00:07:38:24
Mouse/Jo
Yeah.

00:07:39:06 - 00:07:42:15
Weens/Juls
But you're happy that they're. I mean, he can drive.

00:07:42:15 - 00:07:45:03
Mouse/Jo
Did you read my flow of paper, though? I had a whole...

00:07:45:06 - 00:07:46:14
Weens/Juls
Okay, let's go with your plan.

00:07:46:22 - 00:08:03:21
Mouse/Jo
Thank you. I do want to hear from you first, because I think that's important. I think this is what the people that might listen to Mouse and Weens would be interested in. So let's table the teen talk for a second, because I do have a few incidences? Incidents? And so that... I want to talk...

00:08:03:21 - 00:08:05:05
Weens/Juls
About inciting incident.

00:08:05:05 - 00:08:17:06
Mouse/Jo
Yes. And get your guys' opinion. But catch me up with what you've been doing. Tell people what we're up to because this is... Speaking of job change, there's a really big new thing that we're doing.

00:08:17:12 - 00:08:29:19
Weens/Juls
So we're working on a documentary. Is that what you're talking about? Okay. Yeah. Yes. This was a documentary that we had decided to do. It actually was inspired. I love Laura Havers, who we interviewed.

00:08:29:19 - 00:08:30:06
Mouse/Jo
Haver

00:08:31:16 - 00:09:01:06
Weens/Juls
Haver. So, Haver, who we interviewed on our show. But she has something called the Havers.

Mouse/Jo
Chasing Havers. Her boys.

Weens/Juls - 00:09:13:21
Yeah. So I got confused. Okay. And she's a great lady, and I had a little consultation session with her, and it was like, "What do you really want to do? Like, if you could do anything, what lights you up?" And it was like documentary. If I were to shoot a documentary on near-death experiences or something in that world. She was like, "Okay, so write it down" and I did it. And then I did. And then it was like, "Oh, that's unrealistic." And now we are here. I've come to San Diego. I cut the cord on the film industry.

00:09:13:21 - 00:09:19:03
Mouse/Jo
You just cut the cord on someone else telling you what to do. Now you're in the you are part of the film industry, but it's independent.

00:09:19:07 - 00:09:33:17
Weens/Juls
Yeah. Yes. So I'm here. And then we decided to shape it into more of a story that we could both do together, which I love that idea, don't you? What are you doing? Drinking water.

00:09:33:17 - 00:09:35:13
Mouse/Jo
Never mind. Pretend we're on Zoom and you can't see me...

00:09:35:13 - 00:09:37:01
Weens/Juls
Loud and gulping was.

00:09:37:01 - 00:09:38:00
Mouse/Jo
I'm not.

00:09:38:00 - 00:09:49:12
Weens/Juls
Insult. I am just giving it back. And so now we're doing it on. There were nefarious (possibly) circumstances about my father.

00:09:50:01 - 00:09:51:17
Mouse/Jo
Our father, my father.

00:09:51:17 - 00:09:58:09
Weens/Juls
Who art in heaven. My little joke.

00:09:58:17 - 00:09:58:21
Mouse/Jo
A little joke.

00:09:58:22 - 00:10:05:06
Weens/Juls
Yeah. And so we don't know what exactly happened around his death.

00:10:05:12 - 00:10:06:12
Mouse/Jo
It's a mystery.

00:10:06:22 - 00:10:28:01
Weens/Juls
And we're going to discover it as we go and discover other lessons on the way. So we went and we shot a week so far, or at least a week on the road with a lot of interviews. We shot a lot around the house building up to that and a little bit afterwards. So we can start piecing it together when we still have some loose ends to tie up.

00:10:28:09 - 00:10:53:15
Mouse/Jo
We're going on another trip in a couple of weeks and we're still collecting lots of footage around here, and then we have some artsy shots to do. But it's so cool for me, can I just say? Because I'm watching TV and movies now with new eyes and noticing like, "Oh, how did they get that shot." And "What kind of camera was used?" And "interesting angle" and it's so fun to be on the filmmaker side of things.

00:10:54:01 - 00:10:59:16
Weens/Juls
Yeah, we were watching the trailer "Surviving Death" and like both yelling "drone shot!"

00:11:01:00 - 00:11:14:17
Mouse/Jo
And the "Tyler Henry, Life After Death" series on Netflix. I don't know if anyone's watching that, but he's a medium and yeah, "drone shot!" And just all the different going in and out of focus on something in the foreground and the background.

00:11:14:17 - 00:11:23:12
Weens/Juls
And so what did you like, seeing what we did? Because we did a lot of planning. I mean I'll say I did a lot.

00:11:23:12 - 00:11:24:16
Mouse/Jo
You did a lot of planning.

00:11:24:21 - 00:11:26:10
Weens/Juls
But you also did too.

00:11:26:14 - 00:11:27:11
Mouse/Jo
No, I pretty much showed up.

00:11:27:11 - 00:11:44:15
Weens/Juls
Okay. But now that you did, the process of you know... You went through a week of filming, and equipment - we had to bring all of our equipment in the car. We brought in Andrew Piccone the cameraman. And what did you think of the whole that part of the production?

00:11:44:15 - 00:12:50:21
Mouse/Jo
All right. I'm just going to say this to the audience who may not be filmmakers, but basically see, it's kind of like a huge... not party, but like a wedding, where there's different parts and pieces every minute of the day. You have to be "on" and pack up quickly and move and go to the next location. And unpack and re-set-up and touch up the makeup and film again. And you never are really off until you go to bed. And it's a short sleep. And then you wake up and you go again. And this is like a nice film schedule. So I can't imagine a real like where you were working on "The Rookie" and or as your hat says, "The" with black tape over "Rookie" because she's tired of talking about it! But where it's 18 hour shoots and stuff like that, like this is just three people and some equipment which filled up the entire back of my Suburban and it was nuts. It was exhausting.

00:12:50:21 - 00:12:56:11
Weens/Juls
Was it really? Yeah, yeah. I mean it was. Fun, it was exciting, but I was looking forward to coming home.

00:12:56:16 - 00:12:57:02
Weens/Juls
Really?

00:12:57:03 - 00:13:01:08
Mouse/Jo
It was one week. And yeah! What about you? Did you..?

00:13:01:08 - 00:13:02:09
Weens/Juls
Oh, yeah, I love it.

00:13:02:09 - 00:13:03:24
Mouse/Jo
Love it. This is your thing.

00:13:04:04 - 00:13:10:00
Weens/Juls
It's my thing. And I would like to have kept going. I was like, "Oh, we're going to go home. It's going to go back to routine." (Really?) Yeah.

00:13:10:00 - 00:13:17:16
Mouse/Jo
And I was kind of craving the routine. I missed my little wakeup, coffee, kids, school... the whole thing.

00:13:17:21 - 00:13:25:07
Weens/Juls
I think it's an excitement to it. There's an adrenaline, at least that I like. Are you addicted to Adrenaline? My therapist says that I might be.

00:13:25:07 - 00:13:26:16
Mouse/Jo
Yes, I think you are.

00:13:26:19 - 00:13:27:05
Weens/Juls
Really?

00:13:27:06 - 00:13:42:13
Mouse/Jo
I agree with her. Your whole life, it's been looking for the thrills and the adventure and. Well, and I think that's normal in humans. But you can keep going with it. I'm like... I peter out after a while. I get my shot and I'm good. You want to keep going!

00:13:42:17 - 00:13:46:01
Weens/Juls
So that was it. That was exhausting. Yeah. Could you do that for a month?

00:13:47:21 - 00:14:03:04
Mouse/Jo
I mean, it would have to be... I... maybe I just have to be more involved. If I'd done the planning and I knew who we're going to talk to more. And because I was kind of along for the ride, I was more of a player on the team than the planner. So I don't know.

00:14:03:08 - 00:14:05:01
Weens/Juls
Yeah, it might be different if you were.

00:14:05:09 - 00:14:07:14
Mouse/Jo
You did a great job. You had it down.

00:14:07:14 - 00:14:08:02
Weens/Juls
Thank you.

00:14:08:10 - 00:14:14:06
Mouse/Jo
Although we if you do want to be a director, director, director, you've got to get mean. You're too nice.

00:14:14:14 - 00:14:16:02
Weens/Juls
That's been my problem.

00:14:16:06 - 00:14:24:02
Mouse/Jo
Because then we missed some good shots and things like that because it wasn't clear what we were supposed to do. No, it was because you wanted it to be a nice experience.

00:14:24:06 - 00:14:49:16
Weens/Juls
Well, I didn't want to kill you guys. And say, you know, we get to bed at ten or 11 and wake up at 5 a.m. to go shoot at six to get the sunrise. And I know you guys are... I mean, in my... I don't know. With more of the seasoned filmmaker, but I think it's also blurred lines because we're all friends so. I didn't want to kill you guys because I know that.

00:14:49:24 - 00:14:54:05
Mouse/Jo
But don't be codependent. You can kill us if we sign up to do it. Well.

00:14:54:20 - 00:14:55:07
Weens/Juls
Okay.

00:14:55:14 - 00:15:07:24
Mouse/Jo
So next, next time. Anyway, this is your segment. Keep talking. So more updates. So we did that. And then how's it been living here? How have you liked your big life change?

00:15:08:00 - 00:15:31:03
Weens/Juls
Well, it's very different and very nice. It's nice to be around family because they're very accepting and yeah, it's good. I'm figuring out how to, like, be okay with going in the back room and shutting the door and working on stuff because it feels weird not to. I don't know when I'm supposed to be a part of the family or not.

00:15:31:10 - 00:15:42:03
Mouse/Jo
Whenever you want. Yeah, you are a part of the family. You.. You're like... Yeah, she's the awesome auntie. Everybody, if it isn't clear, she's my sister and she is awesome.

00:15:42:11 - 00:15:59:21
Weens/Juls
Thanks. You know, I went from doing everything exactly the way I want to do it all the time because I was just solo. Yeah. So it is different to go like, "Okay, I probably should come out and say hi or help out here, help out there, and have dinner together."

00:16:00:00 - 00:16:06:02
Mouse/Jo
But you never want to feel that obligation. Like, I hope it's when you want to. Not like, "Oh, they want me to. They think that blah blah, blah."

00:16:06:02 - 00:16:17:04
Weens/Juls
Well, there's certain things that are weird. Like, if I just decided to lay in bed until 10:00... (Do it!) Are you kidding me? Would you like...?

00:16:17:05 - 00:16:19:21
Mouse/Jo
Me on the weekends? I don't get outta my pjs ever!

00:16:20:22 - 00:16:56:14
Weens/Juls
It's nice but I think the weekend is a good time for that. But I just don't on the weekends. It's always getting up early anyway. Yeah, there's a built-in productivity thing. You know, I've also like getting up and starting, especially when other people around you were, you know, how it was and COVID and like everybody was in it together, so we all could just kind of relax together. Everyone got in touch with their "Little House on the Prairie", and then I'm going to do this all the time. I'm going to hike with the kids. We're going to play board games. Yeah, and no one's going back. And it's probably just. Do you feel we're world?

00:16:56:24 - 00:17:04:17
Mouse/Jo
I mean, yeah, it's been that way for a long time, though. I think you're in a different mode because we had to get back into school and all that, really.

00:17:04:18 - 00:17:09:05
Weens/Juls
So having kids keeps you on point. Yeah, it really does change.

00:17:09:05 - 00:17:12:23
Mouse/Jo
7 a.m. there out the door you know, it's kind of crazy.

00:17:13:10 - 00:17:21:02
Weens/Juls
And your husband is on and he does his very routine schedule, so and you're more let's talk about that.

00:17:21:03 - 00:17:27:14
Mouse/Jo
No, no, no, not annoying. It's just very different than I am because you like it, isn't? It isn't. I don't know.

00:17:27:15 - 00:17:29:21
Weens/Juls
You wake up naturally you couldn't even sleep in. Oh.

00:17:31:00 - 00:17:50:24
Mouse/Jo
No. Yeah, I do. I guess it's a light thing. Although I, I shut all these blackout lights over the weekend just to see if I could get extra sleep in. It works disincentives I know Dave is great. I shouldn't act like I'm always so annoyed with them. I do it for shtick. It's not that. Although, I mean, there are moments, and it does happen and.

00:17:51:09 - 00:17:56:03
Mouse/Jo
And you helped me a lot yesterday. Two days ago, a.

00:17:56:03 - 00:17:56:22
Weens/Juls
Couple of days ago.

00:17:57:09 - 00:18:05:03
Mouse/Jo
Okay, folks, let's get in a marriage fights. But first, we're going to hear from our sponsor during dinners.

00:18:06:13 - 00:18:29:08
Speaker 3
We are sponsored by dream dinners. Go to dream dinners. Dot com and enter mouse and women's 99 at checkout. If you're in the local area of Poway or San Marcos and you will get $99 off your first order and free delivery if you choose it or you can go pick it up. It is such a game changer. You guys dream dinners has really changed our family meal time.

00:18:29:13 - 00:18:48:05
Speaker 3
We make meals together, we sit down together. I feel confident that they're healthy foods and the kids can even make them. My husband can make them. It's a really fun, wonderful service. I've been using it for three years and I finally approached them and said, Let's make this a business arrangement because I talk about you all the time anyway.

00:18:48:15 - 00:19:14:24
Speaker 3
So here we are. You save an average of $200 a month off your grocery bill. If you sign up for dream dinners, which isn't a subscription service it really is a ad hoc. You can choose it monthly. Whenever you want to stop, you can stop. So there's no subscription. You only have to come in and pick up your meals once a month or have them delivered, but you will get a good bunch of meals in your freezer that you can thaw out and use as you see fit.

00:19:15:20 - 00:19:46:07
Speaker 3
This is perfect for people who have likes, dislikes and allergies, and you can insert special instructions for your meals and it really will change your lifestyle. You guys, please do go try it. Mouse Wine.com we have a quick link to give you your $99 off or you can go to Dream Dinner XCOM, choose your location. They are nationwide and if you're in our local area in terms of means 99 and give free delivery and $99 off your first order you think.

00:19:46:07 - 00:19:50:19
Mouse/Jo
You June dinners mouse and wines 99 they really are good saver but.

00:19:50:19 - 00:19:56:03
Weens/Juls
Oh my god I can't imagine I know it is like real food that you didn't have to cook and.

00:19:56:03 - 00:19:58:08
Mouse/Jo
Isn't it great you just go out, click a bag.

00:19:58:18 - 00:20:07:21
Weens/Juls
And then you're like a genius. You even said that to me. It's great, like Chile and this is great. Yeah. I was like, it's going to go. All I do is to get in the app.

00:20:08:09 - 00:20:12:06
Mouse/Jo
Yeah. You just mix a few things together, put it in the oven according to directions.

00:20:12:06 - 00:20:16:07
Weens/Juls
And I think that compliments right?

00:20:18:03 - 00:20:24:00
Mouse/Jo
Yeah. Oh, nice mouse movie placement sticker, YouTube, everybody. Okay, back to marriage. Sites.

00:20:24:05 - 00:20:30:23
Weens/Juls
Oh, yeah. So let's talk about what did you think of that experience? Because it just started naturally, right? I know.

00:20:30:24 - 00:20:45:20
Mouse/Jo
Is weird. It was a Sunday morning hanging around the kitchen. And Weans over here is a recent psychology grad and is applying to Mass to get her master's in counseling. Well.

00:20:46:14 - 00:20:47:03
Weens/Juls
Social work.

00:20:47:03 - 00:20:54:21
Mouse/Jo
Social work which may lead to counseling may not, but you decided to jump in and do a little marriage counseling for us without us knowing.

00:20:55:03 - 00:20:56:06
Weens/Juls
I wasn't even doing it.

00:20:56:09 - 00:21:04:03
Mouse/Jo
Well, you were kind. Knowingly. Yeah. You were mediating. I don't even know how did it start. I forget.

00:21:04:23 - 00:21:13:07
Weens/Juls
I don't know. Oh, I know what it was. You wanted to go get the kids ready to go to the winery. Oh, in the morning. They wanted to take a bike ride.

00:21:13:21 - 00:21:15:00
Mouse/Jo
Yes, that's it.

00:21:15:08 - 00:21:24:08
Weens/Juls
You said, Dave, can you wrangle the kids? Because Elliot's going to his football practice. At 11, so can you get the kids? Let's do a nice family bike ride.

00:21:24:08 - 00:21:46:24
Mouse/Jo
Yeah, I want to do it early before I got to heart and before all the activities started. And that was my one goal for the weekend. Was a nice solid family time without screens, and everybody lounged and nobody wrangled. And then I started griping because the kids don't seem to listen to me very much anymore. And I started blaming Dave because he teases me too.

00:21:46:24 - 00:21:51:05
Mouse/Jo
This is like part of our little back and forth. The biker tunes and.

00:21:51:15 - 00:21:52:19
Weens/Juls
Teases you about what, though?

00:21:53:10 - 00:21:53:22
Mouse/Jo
I don't know.

00:21:54:06 - 00:21:55:01
Weens/Juls
Just being, like.

00:21:55:09 - 00:21:56:07
Mouse/Jo
Everything about me.

00:21:57:09 - 00:22:06:03
Weens/Juls
Yeah, but why did it bother you in this particular cause you were the one that was trying to nag them. Yeah. Quote, unquote. Yeah, right.

00:22:06:03 - 00:22:29:01
Mouse/Jo
No, I guess it's the nagging thing perceived nagging. I see it as, Hey, let's make a play on teammate of the family. And he sees it as a big nagging eye roll side kind of moment, which sucks, man, because the pig and the pigs don't kick up on it. The kids don't make.

00:22:29:05 - 00:22:31:18
Weens/Juls
Money that you just had a stroke.

00:22:33:08 - 00:22:47:19
Mouse/Jo
The kids pick up on it, and then they do the same thing. Oh, you know, and it's just that undertone. So you jumped in and helped us navigate. Okay, what could you do differently then? What could you do differently in trying a middle ground?

00:22:47:24 - 00:23:03:21
Weens/Juls
Well, because a much like I think a lot of issues are the deeper issues. It's not just this one time and the. Yeah, it was. Yeah. Your thing. I think what he was saying is that he doesn't get a minute to wake up in the morning without you throwing a list at them.

00:23:04:13 - 00:23:05:14
Mouse/Jo
Which is very.

00:23:05:17 - 00:23:10:22
Weens/Juls
Nice to say. I love you, honey. Or Good morning, which I do to you.

00:23:10:22 - 00:23:39:20
Mouse/Jo
Yes. Anyway, I refute that, but I get it. No, I know in general terms I'm more holistic and get it. Danny and he's more chili and he has his own plan in his head that he's not communicative so I think, yeah, we can we can get all this stuff done and he thinks, yeah, we can, I can relax and watch things on TV and maybe do one project that he's decided in his head never told me about.

00:23:39:20 - 00:23:41:19
Mouse/Jo
So we're on different pages anyway.

00:23:43:08 - 00:24:08:07
Weens/Juls
But then the so the fundamental thing that it came down to with you is that you don't feel seen or heard. Yes. And then his fundamental thing is that he needs time to adjust in the morning and would like pleasantry ease and then you could get him to talk to you about the list. Yes. But then you came back and said, well, let's do that before because by the time we talk about it, sometimes it's too late.

00:24:08:07 - 00:24:15:12
Mouse/Jo
Yeah. If I have to sit and wait on my hands until 11:00 on Saturday, then we've lost half of our we can one time.

00:24:15:24 - 00:24:18:02
Weens/Juls
So the solution was, do you remember?

00:24:18:05 - 00:24:29:09
Mouse/Jo
Yes. So instead of calling him at work and being like, Hey, we need to talk about blah blah blah blah blah, I'm supposed to write a list, type it up, keep a moving list, which is sort of doable, but I don't know.

00:24:29:14 - 00:24:30:13
Weens/Juls
Yeah, I have to type it up.

00:24:31:02 - 00:24:33:21
Mouse/Jo
Yeah, I know. That's kind of weird at least. Yeah.

00:24:34:03 - 00:24:35:17
Speaker 3
And then we're going to have.

00:24:35:17 - 00:24:40:15
Mouse/Jo
Thursday couch meetings after dinner.

00:24:40:15 - 00:24:41:15
Speaker 3
When the kids are cleaning.

00:24:41:15 - 00:24:49:02
Mouse/Jo
Up the kitchen. That's going to be your hang out. Look at calendars, talk about plans meet time, discuss time.

00:24:49:18 - 00:24:51:11
Weens/Juls
It's the Bob Burgers time on the couch.

00:24:51:11 - 00:25:02:23
Mouse/Jo
Yeah. And then they can all finish their dishes and then go watch Bob's Burgers together while I go upstairs and finish my other work. So that was the plan, and I liked it. I think it works. And we both.

00:25:03:06 - 00:25:04:15
Weens/Juls
You have to stick to the green.

00:25:04:15 - 00:25:07:16
Mouse/Jo
Okay, well, I can't because I'm going out for drinks for my birthday.

00:25:07:17 - 00:25:09:22
Weens/Juls
Oh, tomorrow with you.

00:25:10:06 - 00:25:10:24
Mouse/Jo
With you.

00:25:12:06 - 00:25:12:20
Weens/Juls
I'm coming.

00:25:12:21 - 00:25:22:14
Mouse/Jo
So far. Melissa and Aaron that's it. And that's it so far. That's going to be fun, I think. Yeah.

00:25:22:24 - 00:25:28:22
Weens/Juls
Happy birthday. Wednesday. It's Joey's birthday. In two days on the 21st.

00:25:29:03 - 00:25:30:02
Mouse/Jo
That's right. And mom.

00:25:30:08 - 00:25:31:01
Weens/Juls
And mom's.

00:25:31:04 - 00:25:32:13
Mouse/Jo
That's amazing choices.

00:25:32:15 - 00:25:33:17
Weens/Juls
Choice choices.

00:25:33:17 - 00:25:34:15
Mouse/Jo
Choice. My birthday buddy.

00:25:34:15 - 00:25:40:14
Weens/Juls
Choice popped out this little bun of the same on her birthday. So that amazing.

00:25:41:15 - 00:26:00:09
Mouse/Jo
Hey, I just want to say thank you for being a couples counselor. That was very helpful. And I cried some tears trying to get my points out. And I think he understood that. And we hugged lots and it was good. And for somebody who is anti counseling, that's as close as we're going to get to it. I think.

00:26:00:13 - 00:26:00:23
Mouse/Jo
So.

00:26:00:24 - 00:26:05:22
Weens/Juls
Would you have come to that same thing without someone else there? I mean, it was helpful.

00:26:05:22 - 00:26:29:15
Mouse/Jo
We've done tune up talks, but it would have taken a lot longer. What's helpful is a third person to hear him just to be in the room. I think because homeboy has a chance, he has a tendency to roll right over me and just talk, talk, talk and interact and he's a lawyer. I mean, he wants to win the argument all the time, no matter what we're talking about.

00:26:30:09 - 00:26:39:05
Mouse/Jo
So it's nice to have a neutral force in the room to kind of watch him watch his P's and Q's a little bit. Hmm. I think.

00:26:39:11 - 00:26:39:19
Weens/Juls
Hmm.

00:26:40:05 - 00:26:41:09
Mouse/Jo
Did you sense that at all?

00:26:41:18 - 00:26:47:18
Weens/Juls
I can't tell. I haven't been in the room with you guys. Fighting, talking before.

00:26:48:11 - 00:26:48:24
Mouse/Jo
Yeah, I know.

00:26:49:10 - 00:27:00:06
Weens/Juls
So I don't know. But sometimes it does help. Maybe just have someone like Okay, he's got a point there. And you also have a point. Yeah. Let's hear what each other is. Just. Yeah.

00:27:00:13 - 00:27:21:00
Mouse/Jo
We all judge. I've been wishing for this for years. I used to want to have a spy pen and just like film are discussions because I feel like it's so one-sided and it's so hard to get my points out and then to have a middle ground. And I've had and I even said this in our little discussion, I've had ex-boyfriends that I could do that with.

00:27:21:00 - 00:27:35:07
Mouse/Jo
They would go, Oh, I see your point. Yes, that is another way to do something. But here's my point. And then we kind of sometimes would have to agree to disagree and then we'd move on, but not there. So you talked about that too, which was nice.

00:27:35:15 - 00:27:36:00
Weens/Juls
I did.

00:27:36:14 - 00:27:54:23
Mouse/Jo
Yeah. You gave us like a how to meet in the middle when when you know, you want what was the example now? I can't remember. Oh, I think it was driving to work here the best way and the one and only best way. And I was like, no, you don't there's multiple ways to do it depending on your goal.

00:27:55:11 - 00:28:03:22
Mouse/Jo
What if I want to grab some groceries and get gas and then go to your work? Well, that's not the best way. Well, that's an opinion so it was that whole scene in her head thing, I think.

00:28:04:18 - 00:28:28:10
Weens/Juls
And I think it came down to even though his might be the most efficient way, there might be another way and yeah, it might not be as efficient, but it might serve another purpose. So even if but then, you know, it was like there is a fundamental way to do things the best way. But then, okay, if you don't agree with your way, then just agree to disagree.

00:28:28:10 - 00:28:33:18
Weens/Juls
Like, okay, that's your that's where you have to agree to disagree. Yeah, there is another way to do it.

00:28:34:10 - 00:28:38:08
Mouse/Jo
And he can never agree to disagree. He's just right. And then walks out the room.

00:28:38:24 - 00:28:40:10
Weens/Juls
But maybe this will shift.

00:28:40:12 - 00:28:41:01
Mouse/Jo
I hope so.

00:28:41:13 - 00:29:02:10
Weens/Juls
And maybe I do remember a certain person working in a certain job with a certain sister that we came to the same. We would do posters and graphic design American and we would get the same result. But you would get so mad that I would get to my get to the same result. But a different way than you would go.

00:29:03:02 - 00:29:09:23
Weens/Juls
But it was the same exact copy of the same exact thing as the end result. But you couldn't say I was 20 then.

00:29:09:24 - 00:29:10:19
Mouse/Jo
I think I'm different now.

00:29:10:20 - 00:29:14:15
Weens/Juls
Okay. But it is similar. I get it. So get.

00:29:14:15 - 00:29:15:12
Mouse/Jo
It. Okay.

00:29:15:16 - 00:29:20:12
Weens/Juls
Just getting you marry what you are.

00:29:21:22 - 00:29:25:19
Mouse/Jo
We really are. We're competitive. So it was good to keep doing that.

00:29:25:22 - 00:29:26:16
Weens/Juls
Once a week.

00:29:26:16 - 00:29:35:18
Mouse/Jo
Spicier or angry? Maybe it's just angry sex. All right. So just keep rolling along.

00:29:36:03 - 00:29:36:10
Weens/Juls
Yeah.

00:29:37:00 - 00:29:41:06
Mouse/Jo
Do you have advice for me or my teenagers? Because we had a couple incidents.

00:29:41:13 - 00:29:41:24
Weens/Juls
Oh, yeah.

00:29:42:08 - 00:30:05:21
Mouse/Jo
That I don't know. I mean, I don't. I handle them. I think we handle them. David. I don't know if I handle them well or. Right. So you let me know what you think. And audience, I would like your opinions too, because I don't know, man. I feel like a big square. So what happened? Where was I?

00:30:06:06 - 00:30:08:22
Weens/Juls
We were at shooting at this time.

00:30:09:03 - 00:30:36:23
Mouse/Jo
Yes, yes. We went to a cemetery, kind of to your in our documentary, and I got a text from one of my sons. I'm not going to point fingers. Friends who said, Hi, Joel, this is Mrs. So-and-so. So and so's Mom, can you call me, please? And I immediately got red flags because she always just texts me when we go, Okay.

00:30:36:23 - 00:30:56:22
Mouse/Jo
So and so it's going to your house. Fine. Great. I'll pick my guardian. So I call her. Well, first I called Dave, and he hadn't heard anything, so I call her and she tells me, hi. Yes, I hate to tell you this. I'm so sorry. I am so embarrassed. We are not this family. I can't believe this happened on our watch.

00:30:57:11 - 00:31:26:07
Mouse/Jo
Meanwhile, my blood pressure is going up. What? What what? Do you remember that time that your son spent the night like? I think it was a week and a half ago. Two weeks at this point. I said yes. And she goes, Well, a video surfaced from that night from our son meaning her son, and he was drunk they said, We don't know if your son drank.

00:31:26:07 - 00:31:45:13
Mouse/Jo
Also, all we know is this because we have a policy with that we can take his phone when we need to and check through it. And we found it. And he's in big trouble. Lost his phone. He's restricted for a while. I can't see friends, but we wanted you to hear from us. Instead of elsewhere in case of floating out there in the world.

00:31:46:09 - 00:32:09:08
Mouse/Jo
So now there's this video out there in the world that he sent to a friend and who knows what he did with it. So, yeah, we I couldn't do anything because, as you know, I was with you in Northern California so I had to call Dave and have him handle it, which I think he did. He talked to him, and.

00:32:09:10 - 00:32:10:11
Weens/Juls
You guys haven't talked about it.

00:32:10:17 - 00:32:31:13
Mouse/Jo
Well, we have but I mean, I wasn't here. I don't know exactly how he handled it. And as a control person, that's hard to let go of. But he says he handled it fine. They had a big talk. He took away his phone for a bunch of days, four days, five days, and thing through the weekend was like midweek and then put him on restriction for a week.

00:32:31:13 - 00:32:55:19
Mouse/Jo
He couldn't go anywhere. And, you know, then when I came home, we had a big talk about how you can't do this and it could get in the wrong hands. Of someone, anyone at school. You never know if it's going to hurt your future. All that. So, so yes, that was how we handled it. But I don't know if that was right.

00:32:56:01 - 00:33:12:06
Mouse/Jo
I don't know if like being so restrictive and punishing is going to help or hurt. So what do you think? Like were I don't know. I need lots of opinions here. People. I'm like, I don't know what to do with this really kind of. Yeah.

00:33:12:08 - 00:33:14:13
Weens/Juls
Do you think what do you think are too much or too soft?

00:33:15:07 - 00:33:37:18
Mouse/Jo
Well, what I don't want to do is to shut down the lines of communication, you know, because what we said was, hey, if you had come to us and said, look, this happened I tried alcohol, I didn't like it, I didn't drink like my friend did. And then the video got out and that's what happened. We probably would have gone easier on him.

00:33:37:18 - 00:33:43:24
Mouse/Jo
Thank you for talking to us. But because he was sneaky and went behind her back and then.

00:33:46:07 - 00:33:48:14
Weens/Juls
All he did was take his phone away. And that's not hard.

00:33:49:05 - 00:34:08:03
Mouse/Jo
I know, I know. But he is going to remember that as, oh, I remember that week I was out of town because that's social suicide at this age, you know, like this is how they all stay in touch. So I don't know. Part of me is like, maybe we should have not punished, but just had a big talk.

00:34:09:03 - 00:34:19:22
Mouse/Jo
And that way he'd be more apt to tell us in the future. Like, did we just shut him down? Because now he's like, Oh, them finding out equals losing stuff, therefore I'm going to be more sneaky about it next time.

00:34:19:22 - 00:34:21:12
Weens/Juls
Did you have a talk with them later?

00:34:21:20 - 00:34:22:16
Mouse/Jo
Yeah. Yeah.

00:34:23:03 - 00:34:24:08
Weens/Juls
What kind of talk?

00:34:24:08 - 00:34:34:16
Mouse/Jo
Just what I said. That talk that if you would come to us and talk to us, it would have been not as big of a deal, but we had to find out from someone else, which is bad news.

00:34:35:00 - 00:34:37:09
Weens/Juls
Did you have, like, could talk about drinking in general or.

00:34:37:09 - 00:34:57:17
Mouse/Jo
Yeah, yeah. I mean, not really like the health of it. And isn't that more of the safety? And, you know, that's something you can do when you're older. Right now, it's you're too young and your brain isn't developed and it can lead to bad habits. And but we get it. We're all curious. But, you know, if you're curious about something, come to us and we can talk about it.

00:34:59:13 - 00:35:00:14
Mouse/Jo
So I don't know.

00:35:00:24 - 00:35:04:13
Weens/Juls
It sounds good. Yeah, it sounds like healthy parenting. Yeah.

00:35:05:08 - 00:35:07:01
Mouse/Jo
What would you have done? Would you have punished?

00:35:08:03 - 00:35:16:22
Weens/Juls
I smacked him. I would have seen you drink a bottle of Jack. Oh, great. This is. No, I've heard of parents.

00:35:16:22 - 00:35:18:00
Mouse/Jo
Doing really.

00:35:18:00 - 00:35:29:13
Weens/Juls
Well. Old school days. Yeah, great. Yeah. I don't know. I think. I think that was well handled. I who am I to say? I don't know what else.

00:35:30:03 - 00:36:05:09
Mouse/Jo
I know, so I have another. So I went on girls trip for my pre weekend, and one of my friends love her, is very liberal, very liberal and she just kind of says she doesn't penance for anything that her kids do. She just talks to them and gives them the tools and how to deal with it because it is going to come up and they're in high school and they're going to go to parties and they're going to be people drinking and they're going to drink and how to handle it so that was like kind of a Mind-Blowing statement to me.

00:36:05:09 - 00:36:14:21
Mouse/Jo
I was like, Really? So you wouldn't have punished? She was like, No, but I don't know how I feel about that. So like, where do you draw that line?

00:36:15:10 - 00:36:18:06
Weens/Juls
Obviously, you feel like you need to have a consequence.

00:36:18:18 - 00:36:19:20
Mouse/Jo
Yeah, right.

00:36:20:18 - 00:36:26:06
Weens/Juls
I think that's good because the phone is a great consequence and that was kind of a big act.

00:36:26:15 - 00:36:30:08
Mouse/Jo
But is not going to shut them down more and make them more sneaky.

00:36:30:15 - 00:36:39:03
Weens/Juls
And I don't know how communicative is otherwise not. I guess it's a teenager though, right?

00:36:39:03 - 00:36:39:19
Mouse/Jo
Yeah.

00:36:40:06 - 00:36:42:03
Weens/Juls
This is your other one more.

00:36:43:01 - 00:36:48:21
Mouse/Jo
They're equally quiet about their personal stuff and feelings.

00:36:49:08 - 00:37:11:00
Weens/Juls
So this is a teenager thing. I think they're asserting their independence. This is that child psychology stage of, you know, they're just doing their thing. Which is healthy. So I think you do have to have a little consequence because you're still the parents. And yeah, I think it was good you didn't yell. You didn't slap you didn't you know, you.

00:37:11:00 - 00:37:36:17
Mouse/Jo
And your slapping, slapping, slapping. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. But it made me second guess when I heard my friend say that, that she wouldn't have punished. And does she have a better system or a relationship? Maybe her kid is more open and communicative so they can do that more? I don't know. Or is it a boy thing?

00:37:36:17 - 00:37:41:11
Mouse/Jo
And like, it's easier to be harder on boys like, would I have done the same thing with Charlotte? You know.

00:37:41:16 - 00:37:45:04
Weens/Juls
I would think so. I see that you give kind of equal punishment.

00:37:45:05 - 00:37:46:08
Mouse/Jo
I think so, yeah.

00:37:46:08 - 00:37:51:10
Weens/Juls
She's younger, though, but yeah, it's the phones. That's the biggest punishment you can ever do.

00:37:52:03 - 00:37:53:16
Mouse/Jo
Yeah. My gosh, friends.

00:37:53:23 - 00:38:01:21
Weens/Juls
Yeah, I think it was fun. I think, you know, I don't know you know, you have to do something, I guess, for them to pay attention.

00:38:01:21 - 00:38:09:21
Mouse/Jo
What about the letting them drink beer at home? Like when we were in Germany and the parents just let the kids have beer with dinner and it's not a big deal. What about that?

00:38:11:00 - 00:38:31:10
Weens/Juls
There's so many different sides to it, I think, because I'll hear people say, my parents let me have alcohol. So that became a problem. And later in life, as you know, my parents gave it a green light and they were and then I was so used to it by the time I was older. Yeah, and then there's other people that say it was so taboo, they didn't let me have it.

00:38:31:17 - 00:38:42:15
Weens/Juls
And then it made me really want it. So I think it's just you can't win. Yeah. I think you do the best with the kids you have and use your own judgment and think you did good.

00:38:42:21 - 00:39:13:19
Mouse/Jo
All right. Well, yeah, okay. I did pull up a top ten thank you for that. Uh, just because it's fun to read top ten this ten parenting tips for teens. Okay, this is by the bunch of kids David, Amy, and Nadine Bianchi, psychologist, child development and psychiatry from different universities and yeah. And School of medicine. Okay. Give kids some leeway.

00:39:15:00 - 00:39:35:01
Mouse/Jo
Give kids a chance. Give teens a chance to establish their own identity. Giving them more independence. It's essential to help them establish their own place in the world. Do you think I'm giving my kids enough leeway and independence? Oh, okay. I don't want to be too controlling, because I know that's my tendency. I try not to choose your battles wisely.

00:39:35:01 - 00:39:58:20
Mouse/Jo
Doing themselves harm or doing something that could be permanent. Or don't like a tattoo. Just like the tattoo conversation. Those things matter. Purple hair, a messy room. Those don't matter. Don't nit pick okay. Number three, invite their friends for dinner. It helps to meet kids. You have questions about true. And I like doing that. And that's another thing I lament about not driving anymore.

00:39:58:20 - 00:40:15:10
Mouse/Jo
I used to drive all the kids around, and I get to know them, and now I don't have to. Although with the younger one, I still do because the bigger one has a two seater and can only fit one person in the car, which is nice. And they're not allowed to drive kids around making only drive siblings. Or how do.

00:40:15:10 - 00:40:17:09
Weens/Juls
You invite them over here for a party?

00:40:17:09 - 00:40:43:07
Mouse/Jo
We don't have a cool enough house, apparently. What? Yes, this is what I've been told by Elly. Yeah, they're good. Me by both of them. Oh, the game room is to open. Charlotte walks around to match with her dumb friends. The backyard is boring, so I think I need to get I know, Alex. But then it's true. His friends have really cool houses that make shuffleboard and ping pong.

00:40:43:07 - 00:41:09:02
Mouse/Jo
And by van. That's nonsense. So we do have a dartboard and a cool TV outside, but I think I want to get a ping pong table and maybe draw a pickle ball court or the basketball court. Yeah. And then, like, more sporty things available, really. So that's part of my summer plan. Get that going. Okay, so get to know the kids if you just say you can't go out with those kids, it can backfire.

00:41:09:02 - 00:41:35:24
Mouse/Jo
It increases the antagonism. Okay. Number four, decide rules and discipline in advance. If it's a TWO-PARENT family, it's important to be on the same page. An allowance grounding, which I think we do. I think we're pretty good about coming to agreement on that. Number five, discuss checking in, give teens age appropriate autonomy, especially if they behave, if they behave appropriately.

00:41:37:05 - 00:41:55:11
Mouse/Jo
But you need to know where they are. That's part of responsible parenting. If they need to call and check in. Blah, blah, blah, we do that life three 60. Have you heard of that? It's like a GPS tracking system and they've all opted in. So at any moment I can click it and see where their little deep car and phone are.

00:41:55:23 - 00:42:14:09
Mouse/Jo
Occasionally. That one time we lost Elliott after he went to the trampoline place and then the burger place, and then they got kicked out of a mall type place and they were in trouble. And I was like, Where are you? And he wasn't picking up his phone. I did it. Then he was fine. He just had his phone off I don't know.

00:42:15:23 - 00:42:40:22
Mouse/Jo
Okay. Number six, talk to teens about risks. Okay, that's obvious. Number seven, give teens a game plan. Tell them, oh, like drunk driving. That was a big part of our talk. Like, if someone's drunk and driving, whatever. I don't care if it's three in the morning, just call me. I had a friend who made an Uber account like a family Uber account, put it on all her kids phones and said like a don't ask, don't tell.

00:42:40:22 - 00:42:47:16
Mouse/Jo
If you have to use Uber, use Uber. If you have to put your friend in Uber, do it. We don't want anyone drinking, driving, which I thought was pretty smart.

00:42:47:21 - 00:42:48:17
Weens/Juls
That's cool. 

00:42:48:17 - 00:43:16:13
Mouse/Jo
Do you like that? Would you do that? (Yeah.) Okay. Number eight, Keep the door open. Don't interrogate, but act interested. Share your tidbits about your own day, ask about theirs. How was the concert? How was the date? How was your day? Um, oh, here's a good one. Another good line. You may not feel like talking about what happened right now. I know what that's like. But if you feel like talking about it later, you come to me.

Weens/Juls
Does that sound like Dad? 

00:43:16:13 - 00:43:20:20
Mouse/Jo
He was always like, "yeah come on girls."

Weens/Juls
Did you feel like telling him stuff because of that?

00:43:21:03 - 00:43:28:21
Mouse/Jo
No. Well, he was so psychology-heavy and I didn't like it. He was always trying to figure me out, like, break the code. And I was like, yeah, "Get out of my head." 

00:43:29:04 - 00:43:34:12
Weens/Juls
Yes. I don't like that. Do I do that?

Mouse/Jo
Yes

Weens/Juls
Yes?! No!

00:43:34:22 - 00:43:44:13
Mouse/Jo
Yes, you do. I'll tell you a dream. Like, this morning, I told you my crazy dream. You're like, "What do you think that means?" I was like, "Oh, here we go. It's just a weird dream."

00:43:44:22 - 00:43:46:20
Weens/Juls
I know that. You shut it down real quick.

00:43:47:00 - 00:44:09:11
Mouse/Jo
Well, yeah, there are some obvious signs there. I'll tell you later today. Okay. Number nine, let kids feel guilty. I think too much is made about self esteem. Feeling good about yourself, that's healthy. But people should feel bad if they have hurt someone or done something wrong. Kids need to feel bad sometimes. Do you agree? Guilt is a healthy emotion, but you've been like, "Don't shame them."

00:44:10:19 - 00:44:21:14
Weens/Juls
It's like manipulation, though. I think when it's like, "Do you know what you did to me when I did this?" I don't know. What do I know? That's what I want to say is I'm not sure how to read a ton.

00:44:21:14 - 00:44:23:19
Mouse/Jo
You guys go for it. I don't know, weiner.

00:44:23:19 - 00:45:30:09
Weens/Juls
Oh, it's the guilt and shame me. Part of there's got to be a way to do it. There's got to be a way to do it where it's not making them, I don't know. Like, okay, for example, all right, well... I don't want to say because then I'll feel bad because when mom listens. Well, I felt bad about, like I was just saying this morning about my... We went to Ghirardelli Chocolate Factory for my birthday, and then I... It was my birthday, so I got to order anything on the menu. And then I just chose the cheapest thing because I knew that we didn't have a lot of money. And then when I was eating it, I was so unhappy, I started crying because I didn't want it. And then Mom was like, "Why are you crying? It's your birthday. This should be happy." And then I cried more because... And then it was all... because I worried and that I felt terrible. And then they're like, "What's wrong with you?" And then they got mad at me. So I was crying on my birthday, and they did this big thing. But it was all because I chose the cheapest thing on the menu.

00:45:31:07 - 00:45:34:19
Mouse/Jo
Oh that's sad Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Yes.

00:45:34:20 - 00:45:36:13
Weens/Juls
Oh, no, it's so...

00:45:37:12 - 00:45:40:18
Mouse/Jo
You did it because you knew the they wanted you to. You had to pick something. Do you think...?

00:45:40:18 - 00:45:51:13
Weens/Juls
I would try to navigate how to look good? But that's... I don't know if that's shaming stuff. I think we really didn't have money and I felt... But it was confusing.

00:45:51:17 - 00:45:52:16
Mouse/Jo
Yeah.

00:45:53:03 - 00:45:56:17
Weens/Juls
But anyway, that's not the same. Exactly.

00:45:57:04 - 00:46:06:21
Mouse/Jo
That's a cute story, though. Pretty sad. And I didn't apply to college because I knew we didn't have money. I went the DVC route, the junior college.

00:46:07:10 - 00:46:10:13
Weens/Juls
We talked about this this morning, but you said it turned out great.

00:46:10:13 - 00:46:54:11
Mouse/Jo
It was a great choice. I was so happy about it because I got straight A's and I got to work and make a buttload of money and get all my crazy party town out of the way and hung out with my friends that did go away to school. So I got my dorm experience. So and then when I finally got into school as a transfer student, as a junior, I did great. I had already been wise to the world. So yeah, I'm... I think it's a great route to go, folks. Parents out there, send your kids to junior college. Yeah. And make them go into the transfer system. Just hope that they set their hopes high and do really well in junior college with the plan to go to because I got into UCSD and UC Berkeley, which I probably couldn't have gotten into had I gone as a freshman.

00:46:54:12 - 00:47:02:10
Weens/Juls
Did they take some of the kids from...? I think it's like a direct transfer and they let kids that go to JC first. Yeah, yeah. Some direct line.

00:47:02:10 - 00:47:05:22
Mouse/Jo
Yeah, yeah. There's junior colleges that work with certain schools and yeah.

00:47:05:22 - 00:47:10:03
Weens/Juls
And you get in almost in a sneakier way than average.

00:47:10:08 - 00:47:17:22
Mouse/Jo
Yeah, it's not yeah, it's sneaky ish, but it's smart because you're only paying $4 a unit instead of tens of thousands of dollars a unit.

00:47:17:22 - 00:47:20:00
Weens/Juls
Four dollars a unit?! You haven't been to school in a while.

00:47:20:00 - 00:47:25:23
Mouse/Jo
No. And you know, and it was great and so was super cheap, and it was great.

00:47:26:16 - 00:47:29:08
Weens/Juls
Honestly, yeah. I did that road too.

00:47:29:08 - 00:47:30:16
Mouse/Jo
Yeah. Yeah, that's a good thing.

00:47:30:16 - 00:47:36:17
Weens/Juls
Very smart. Yay for us. Yeah. Thanks, Mom. You taught us how to be efficient and economically sound.

00:47:36:20 - 00:47:37:22
Mouse/Jo
You did not shame us.

00:47:38:04 - 00:47:45:00
Weens/Juls
And don't worry about that. The Ghirardelli chocolate situation. I've learned later to order expensive things.

00:47:45:03 - 00:47:53:03
Mouse/Jo
Oh, yes. You know, I can.  Wait, no. Ten. Read my my list, girl. Oh, I laughed and I hit a button.

00:47:53:09 - 00:47:56:03
Weens/Juls
There's no. No, she's looking at how to buy used tires.

00:47:56:03 - 00:48:01:20
Mouse/Jo
Oh, WebMD. You sent me down a bad path. Danielle, what is number ten?

00:48:01:20 - 00:48:38:21
Weens/Juls
Okay, number ten is tell them you love them a lot. Oh, yes. Something about telling them how much you appreciate them. Yeah. No, they said don't do that. Don't coddle them. (Really?) One time I was with Joelle, and we were at karaoke. I made her come with me. I think it was my birthday, so I chose karaoke. Joelle did not want to go, but was supporting me. And then I put her name in to sing, and she didn't want to sing. And I was like, "Come on, Jo, you could do it. You're great." And she moved my hand off of her hand. And she said, "Stop coddling me!"

00:48:38:22 - 00:48:45:04
Mouse/Jo
She was coddling. And you coddled me yesterday making me play flute. "You want to play flute?"

00:48:45:04 - 00:48:52:16
Weens/Juls
Why she played flute on a song, and I was so happy about that. But do you really hate it? Why?

00:48:52:20 - 00:49:06:12
Mouse/Jo
Because I can't... I'm not like a play-by-ear kind of person. It will show how awful I am playing by ear. I can't talk scales or keys or any of that. I play straight-up notes on a page like that's how I play music. That's the only way I know.

00:49:06:12 - 00:49:08:13
Weens/Juls
But I just said, play A and C.

00:49:09:04 - 00:49:17:24
Mouse/Jo
Those weren't the right notes. I was A and a D, they went together, and that was dumb, dumb. But I heard you tooting around after I left. So did you get something?

Weens/Juls
Yes.

00:49:18:08 - 00:49:40:15
Mouse/Jo
You got something. All right, number ten. I found it. WebMD says be a role model. Your actions even more than your words are official. I can't see. Are critical in helping teens adopt good moral and ethical standards. If they have a good role model from early on, they will be less likely to make bad decisions in their rebellious teen years. So...

00:49:41:15 - 00:49:45:14
Weens/Juls
Or as Metallica says, "Do as I say, not as I do!"

00:49:45:22 - 00:49:54:20
Mouse/Jo
I know. What happens? We drink. And so, of course, they're going to want to taste drinking things. So maybe we need to cut that out.

00:49:54:21 - 00:49:56:24
Weens/Juls
You haven't been drinking a lot around the house.

00:49:57:02 - 00:50:00:08
Mouse/Jo
Well, no. It's like a glass of wine dinner here and there. It's not like, yeah...

00:50:00:08 - 00:50:03:00
Weens/Juls
You guys are fine. It's normal drinking.

00:50:04:01 - 00:50:05:07
Mouse/Jo
Responsible.

00:50:05:10 - 00:50:07:10
Weens/Juls
Have you ever let the kids try alcohol?

00:50:07:10 - 00:50:47:21
Mouse/Jo
Yeah. Yeah. We've always had little sips of champagne and wine, and they've taken a big slug of beer before, and most don't like it. Some are like, "That's not bad." So it's never been taboo, but it's like, I... I did kind of trick them, and I said, "Oh, yeah, you're a kid, so you'll throw up. But when you turn 21, you won't throw up." Like it's a magical thing... their body is going to switch and then they won't throw up! Oh well that was when they were a little is you want to go there. Now? I can explain it a little better. It was like Santa... not that I'm spoiling anybody's Christmas, but.

00:50:47:21 - 00:50:49:14
Weens/Juls
We do have a lot of six year olds listening!

00:50:49:14 - 00:50:53:23
Weens/Juls
Yes, we do. Yes. All right. Well, I think you do a great job with your kids.

00:50:53:23 - 00:50:54:15
Mouse/Jo
Thank you.

00:50:54:15 - 00:51:02:13
Weens/Juls
They're pretty cool kids overall. They are very on the straight and narrow. Who knows what they're really doing. But I don't think much.

00:51:02:21 - 00:51:03:23
Mouse/Jo
I don't think so either.

00:51:04:02 - 00:51:19:04
Weens/Juls
Because they didn't... I think I was sneaking out of house at this stage of the window. Oh poor Grandma Ruth. I left to L.A. and came back. I rode her. She didn't even notice. She thought it was a backache. Oh, we were terrible kids.

00:51:19:12 - 00:51:38:01
Mouse/Jo
I know there's a lot of sneaking, but we really wanted to get out of the house at that time. Yeah, it was a different situation. I hope. Anyway, I hope you guys are dealing with some of the same things I am in a good way and have any advice. We're open and available for advice. Oh.

00:51:38:09 - 00:51:39:00
Weens/Juls
Did I do it right?

00:51:39:04 - 00:51:48:08
Mouse/Jo
Yeah, we are at MouseAndWeens@gmail.com on email. Everything's @mouseandweens.

00:51:48:08 - 00:51:52:19
Weens/Juls
And her personal email is MouseAndWeens@dork.com

00:51:53:09 - 00:52:34:18
Mouse/Jo
Hey. You've been living here too long. Too comfortable. Over there getting comfortable. All right. I know it's mean. You kept staring at my mouth. (tooth) Go to @mouseandweens for all our social media and YouTube. Anything else? Now we want to shout out to our patrons. Hi, Sara. She's our latest and we love our patrons. So if you feel like joining the fun, you'll get behind the scene videos and secret secret intel on what we're up to and other funny things. And you get swag and welcome gifts, yada, yada, yada for a mere $5 month. So go to patreon.com/mouseandweens. Anything else?

00:52:34:18 - 00:52:35:00
Weens/Juls
Nope.

00:52:37:02 - 00:52:42:00
Mouse/Jo
All right, everyone, thanks for waiting for our episode. Sorry it took so long. We've been busy. Okay, bye!

<<song>>

00:52:42:02 - 00:52:52:23
Speaker 5
No longer just five foot three. Let's see. Feet. She couldn't find the bathroom, so she played some cheek. Lot of the.

00:52:52:23 - 00:52:59:13
Weens/Juls
Fans seem to end it sounds of the holiday as Daphne and Stephanie.

00:53:00:08 - 00:53:07:21
Speaker 5
Husband. Dave loves her. It's so darn cute. He's secretly attracted to the sounds of the kids.

00:53:08:02 - 00:53:09:20
Weens/Juls
It's awesome to the melody.

00:53:09:20 - 00:53:12:23
Speaker 5
They come from the devil.

00:53:13:02 - 00:53:15:16
Weens/Juls
Down with Georgia, with the kids.

00:53:24:06 - 00:53:33:00
Speaker 5
You see dudes if you were.

00:53:33:00 - 00:53:43:11
Speaker 6
Friends, she would call me baby. Let's see. Sparkles all toasty I know. Sometimes I can be here.

00:53:43:13 - 00:53:44:05
Weens/Juls
And me. Ma'am.

00:53:44:08 - 00:54:04:18
Speaker 6
No, ma'am. I still don't love Pearl Jam. Love to love ocean wash into my bangs will be so rich will buy space for the kings in my home to my beautiful dove love's frickin shrinking love's for Latinos.

00:54:07:14 - 00:54:16:11
Speaker 5
Friggin light no.

00:54:20:03 - 00:54:51:23
Speaker 6
At the Mexico airport, she couldn't find her phone. She yelled at some travelers who wish they stayed at home. Thanks, mom, for giving that Wrigley down. It makes me forget that squish hot tub from. Thanks for helping me drive between the lines, even when I'm putting out some wind stickers on the sides. My favorite way to start the day is your morning hugs that make me feel okay.

00:54:53:22 - 00:55:04:19
Weens/Juls
You really don't squeeze a hot tub from.

00:55:06:05 - 00:55:35:21
Speaker 6
I mean, I love that one time in Hawaii when you sit in the car. Oh, jeez, you scared me. I want to take pictures with you when I thought of it, but maybe I'll wait until you get you to. Thanks for buying me the protein powder. Oh, my voice is changing. It's getting deeper and louder light and then make me sing this song.

00:55:36:03 - 00:55:39:18
Speaker 6
Oh, yeah. It's because I love you, Mom.

00:55:40:10 - 00:55:44:09
Weens/Juls
You don't go.

00:55:44:09 - 00:55:52:09
Mouse/Jo
So we love.

00:55:52:09 - 00:55:53:06
Speaker 5
You, Mom.

00:55:56:10 - 00:55:57:02
Speaker 5
I love that.

00:55:57:02 - 00:56:03:20
Weens/Juls
You're the garden lady at my school. It makes it really great. Makes it really cool.

00:56:04:09 - 00:56:11:23
Speaker 3
You went to Costco, and I kept shocking. The electricity came from issues.

00:56:12:13 - 00:56:29:16
Weens/Juls
Thanks for letting me they get to cats, but it's on the floor. And the other ones that chicks are saving. My flip flop on the water slide in Mexico before I went into the tide. I love you, mom.

00:56:30:09 - 00:56:32:16
Speaker 5
Yay to get.

00:56:39:24 - 00:56:44:06
Weens/Juls
One's the house ready.

00:56:46:09 - 00:56:56:09
Speaker 5
For my love. Me do oh.

<<Promo>>
00:57:03:15 - 00:58:28:16
Chad
Hey. They're podcasters, influencers, youtubers, basically. Anybody with a fan base. How would you like to join me as a contestant on my new trivia podcast? The Smartest Podcast on the Planet hosted by that guy Chad. Every content creator out there wants to be the best. Well, here's your chance to prove it. I'm calling for any and all content creators out there to go head to head on my show and prove that you are, well, the smartest challenger friends challenge your co-host. You can even challenge your supporters. I don't care if you want to be a contestant on the show, send an email to booking at Smartest Pod dot com. That's booking at Smartest podcast. Do you need to get a pen? That's fine. I'll wait that's booking at Smartest podcast. You know what? Better yet, just go to our website, smartest pod dot com and click on the guest page. And I know that you're wondering if the smartest podcast on the planet hosted by me is any good. No, it's not. It's awesome. The smartest podcast on the planet is not actually the smartest podcast on the planet, but it is the smartest podcast on the planet hosted by that guy Chad, and is a proud member of the Patriots Network.

00:58:34:11 - 00:58:41:07
Announcer
This was a podcast of the PodFix Network. You can check out more shows like it on PodfixNetwork.com