E126 - Personal Space, Weens Covid, Dog High

This is bill Clinton. I have a couple things I want to say. First you're listening to my favorite podcast Mouse and Weens. Second I need a cheeseburger. Third I need a cheeseburger. Listen to Mouse and Weens. So good. (intro song)

Ain't nobody gonna breaka my stride. Ain't nobody gonna slow me down. Oh no. I've got to keep on moving. Hello! Hey! Do we pay royalties for that? Welcome to Mouse and Weens everybody. We're back. This is Joelle - Mouse. I'm uh the motherly

(1:00) type, uh matriarch of the family, head of the household. Wow. She's kind of... You're giving yourself a big role. I know. I like that. I'm adding on. I'm the Weiner. I just sit around and wait for scraps. Uh it's been a while again. Dude, this season has been very busy for us. We've been having a tough time getting together to record. I don't know why because now we live together!  All right Weens. That's where we left off. You were you're about to move in. So... I can't believe I actually did it. Can you believe it? No. I know. So quickly. Address change forms and everything. What do you think? Tell me about the process? How did it go? We're gonna talk about a real topic, you guys, which is "Personal Space" so hang on for that. But first we're catching up.  Yeah I think. I might have had Covid. I was moving. So okay. It was a quick decision, I think. Was it a quick decision to move into your house? It just kind of started to make sense and I think I couldn't take it anymore at the other place. There was too much

(2:00) hubbub. Yeah. There were final straws. There were camels' backs to be broken. That's so sad to think about. So I... And then it just made sense, right, as a bigger picture? I'm like, "I don't know if this opportunity will ever come up where we can both do this." Yeah I mean, you can, I guess, at any time that you want. But we're like... Well we're thinking about you being closer to the kids as they get older and you know I have a junior in high school who's not going to be around forever. And you are feeling like you're missing out. Plus uh going back to get your masters and the cost of rent.  Yeah the only thing that was weird which I wasn't sure about was if I start school in August. That's seven months from today. So basically I have seven months of down time at your house which I... My vision was to fill it with creative projects and maybe like get a little side job... Ha, maybe get a side job! That's probably important.

(3:00) No I mean honestly we are happy to float you. We're being patrons of the arts and we're floating um your career right now because we want... But there's no arts happening because there's no time because your life is crazy! Okay yeah so talk about that, because there is time but... Because you always tell me, "Well why don't you just do it when the kids are at school? Why don't you just..." But what happens? What is...? This is from the perspective of a creator - a single creator - jumping into a married lady's life with three kids. There's too many distractions. It's crazy. You have kids who have needs and driving. And if you did anything it would be from the hours of maybe ten to one. Yeah. And those are your only free moments and you'd have to not do anything else. You can't eat. You can't talk to cats or dogs or take anyone in or out to go poop or walk. That's I think part of... And you can't clean and there's always... Your house is huge and there's always cleaning to be done. Yeah.

(4:00) So I don't know. It's hard to concentrate on anything because... I don't know...for me. I have to work on my own shit though because I feel like I have to earn my keep! So I'm always up doing... Well no and you don't. But you do help a lot when you pick up Charlotte so that I can take the boys to work out and that's been really great. So, I love that. Thank you. Not the boys in the morning? I take them to school in the morning. Well, I can do that at that point. Unless it's like a crazy busy garden morning where I'm getting all my supplies. But you're always getting your supplies together. You're always crazy. Yeah, kind of. Sometimes. Some days I'm fine. Some days I'm just... I've got everything planned. Then take them if you want, when you're not crazed. Okay. All right. We're working out our schedule here live on the air. You guys get to hear how it goes. Um so the bottom line is how do you take a crazy home, you know...? Because I was a stay-at-home mom for ages and kept complaining. I couldn't get anything done. And everyone looked at me like I was crazy.

(5:00) But I'm trying to explain it. So now you get it a little, right? Yeah, there's no... It's just everyone is uh... It's the breaks in time. You would have to go and do what Dad did. Our dad used to go into the woods and write screenplays. Yeah. Otherwise you just get distracted. You can't... I don't... I can't work that way because you're just getting into a groove and someone goes, "Do you know where the pops are? Does anyone have any pop?" Yeah. And then you're like, "We're not in Chicago." And they're like, "But I'm still looking for pop." Who's ever looked for pop? I love that. Your kids are crazy. They love pop. No they don't. You didn't even know that! See? I'm spending more time with them now. Okay. I'm losing... losing touch. Anyway. Yeah, all right. Well, good. I know. I do the same thing. I can't sit down for any chunk of time. That's why I think my life is so distracted. I have like 12 things going on all the time - smaller projects - and I can't sit down and do one big one. Okay but now there was this article about how people in

(6:00) American culture, Western culture, think that they're more important and valuable if they're busy. So they're constantly creating ways of saying, "I'm too busy for that." It gives them worth. Self-worth. So i've said i'm busy quite a few times in my life yes well yes and so have i and i know where mine i used to fantasize when i was younger i'd have a calendar and i'd want to fill it in with all this stuff because i thought it was important and i probably still have that but now i could care less yeah i'd like to be unimportant and have nothing on my calendar yeah but um what about you you're looking at me like you have something to say i know what you think because actually i do get a little high when i i have lots to do in a day and it works out and i get it all done and i can do all the things and it's planned to the minute like you've seen a couple days in action where i know i have to be somewhere at four o'clock and i can be between 12 and four i can get like a ton of [ __ ] done and zoom around and do all my errands and pick up the kids and get dinner and come back and then be at the appointment on time and i love when that happens it's like a little puzzle that i've worked out so i don't know my competitive nature digs that my personality but i know the merit of sitting and being and that's okay you're also worthy if you are just alive and breathing and existing and being healthy yes you're like a tasmanian devil it's hard to be around a little bit sometimes when because i'm like ah it looks like someone's in pain and how do you help them granted that could be my codependent parts coming out i know but that's when yeah if you feel that then just go hide in your back room and go outside it might be for eight hours a day it's not that bad i'm really not that bad it's just you've seen me though you know my schedule like what am i supposed to do like you're fine with that then don't get mad don't look at me like that well i mean really where can i change things what should i change it sounds like you don't want to change them so who am i to say that you should change them if you're happy with how you are are you i am then fine you told me the other day i'm happy with who i am because i said do you want to what did i say i tried to get you to do something you didn't want to do i was like do you want to sit down and do a little meditation or something like that and you were like i like who i am i don't need to meditate and i'm comfortable with who i am i am you kind of get snippy but i get it it just oh it's so hard for me to meditate i can't sit there and that's fine though i don't get it i don't get what you do what is it what are you doing what do you need to wrap your head around you're a human being not a human doing oh god

i knew she'd say that this is what i have to say there are all different forms of meditation you could walk down the street and you could feel relaxed you could meditate or do your garden yeah it's i think there is no right way to do it maybe it's just what gives you peace if you have enough of that you're like my favorite uh chill moments are walking the dog and listening to podcasts or cleaning my house and listening to podcasts or gardening and listening to a podcast i like to have my ears engaged that's good and uh be doing something moments of silence are cool too but i don't know i get bored and i like moments of silence also it doesn't happen especially when you're sleeping next to your sister because we're in a hotel room right now in tahiti yeah and my sister who's yelled at people often for snoring and thinks that she is a saint non-snorer i recorded her snoring last night she went to bed at eight o'clock first of all who does that now i'm trapped two hours different it's 10 p.m san diego time okay well there's no point in thinking of it that way you just have to adjust right away i'm very in the moment due to my meditating just kidding but uh so i'm trapped in between uh honks over here and snores over here mom is traveling with us it's the three of us in this hotel room right now and they fall asleep in an instant and i have two people who are and i'm stuck here at eight o'clock they were the ones that had the bottle of wine last night i thought that had something to do that's it and uh yeah so i recorded my sister snoring who says i never snore here we go

aha all right i know i get it i hear myself and uh i think it's it's on my fat neck i'm working on my weight i need to get it back down to my happy place i mean it's not fat i just feel like i'm not in the best shape right now my job thing has taken precedent over working out point i do snore fine i like how you're using my points now i know i like that too really back to a point somewhere in tahiti or do you want to come out i thought that you had about something no just that i had my headphones on last night and my eye patch thing too and just one are no what are they called eye mask and i said that you can um watch tv and do whatever i was i was out i dulled all my senses so it didn't matter that we were yeah no we were jumping around i ended up watching 30 rock nope didn't that didn't happen it was in french it's like what's 30 who cares point is um what about traveling with your mom and your sister let's bring it back i'm in your house now are you already regretting this no not at all isn't it weird though no you're doing great with lids and food you're doing great with cat food cans and we just have to work on the green smoothie sticky mess on the counter in the morning that's it and i'm totally happy and hard really but you'll eventually the shoe will drop at some point you'll eventually be upset about something no really it's not happen no i love having you there and everybody feels like it really does feel like our whole family did this big sigh of relief like ah she's here really yeah like the kids friggin love you dave is like fresh meat audience he loves that you laugh at his jokes no and he loves you you are like his sister but that'll all go away the novelty will wear and then you're gonna have another human in your house that you're constantly like oh the back bedroom is being occupied and so it'll alter the way you like watch tv downstairs i really don't think so though i really don't because we all have our own spaces that we can go hang out and i moved my whole little podcast office upstairs to my bedroom window uh dave's got his office upstairs too we have we have a big room we're up there we have a benefit of this for you guys our theaters it's just like different something going on or extra help it's the energy of family i love that the kids will have this experience i love that we have you here that i have you here we can do more projects together and i know it doesn't seem like we have time but i really do think can we get back to that you were very welcome in our house for as long as you want you said how about six months and i said when does charlotte graduate eight years you've got eight years and when she's 18 then dave and i might pair like you know scale down but you've got eight years to live with this so how's that where would you scale down in eight years because well if all the kids are out of the house we don't need a big ol house oh i see what you're saying you know i thought i don't know what we're gonna want to sleep together in peace as a couple and then yeah that's what the humping starts just 18 years just a couple of years

we're waiting we're doing calisthenics we were just talking about that do you have scheduled sex ever all right i know a couple people who are married and have scheduled sex like friday at two we will be humping and showers before showers after and that's a few people this is a while is this a thing do they sell uh calendar packs with that sticker that you can put on your calendar just a big old big eggplant a pink eggplant that you stick on your friday too no i mean there have been times when it was like you know kids and toddlers like okay when is the best time uh not in the morning because they could run in and jump on your bed at any moment so we need to make a nighttime i don't know we're not i don't like talking about this it's fine everything works out and yeah but we're not we're not scheduled it's the bottom line but it's been talked about a lot i've been in a lot of like mom lectures and talked to friends and stuff and a lot of people say it needs to happen but you guys don't i have another couple friend who says you know you're married a long time they've been married 15 years and you have to initiate it even though you don't want to and then once you start doing it then you're in the groove this wasn't true the dr laura book i remember reading the proper care and feeding of husbands and i don't like dr laura but at the time i was newly married and i was struggling because it was like lots of independence there's that yeah we just like your lives merge as we're talking about and it's a lot of um i thought it would be 50 50 and it really wasn't at all at all and that was hard for me because i think i had an expectation that yay i have a partner who's going to be 50 50 with me and it wasn't happening so then i'm like [ __ ] now what do i do and i was getting really resentful so i read that book kind of out of desperation and it had some good tips and tricks in the 1950s housewife kind of but it was all acting and it was like fake it till you make it you know pretend that when he comes home like hi honey here's your martini and oh i love you and thank you for working so hard for us and you're great oh i love how you cleaned up that one dish that was wonderful and then like a little child they go really and then they do it more because they like that praise and they like pleasing you and all of a sudden they're doing all the dishes and it's a secret mind trick and it worked i couldn't believe it and i remember being so mad at dr laura like wait i have to fake act that i think everything he does is great but it did work she was right and then same with sex it was like you are amazing flirt with them pat them on the butt when you walk by in the kitchen like all the time no matter what and i'm like that's [ __ ] i shouldn't have to do that that's fake that's acting but i tried it and guess what mr responded and it was like game on and then yeah and then you start at night you're tired you don't want to you're all rolled over but octopus hands start creeping and just give in and roll over like wow that's great i love octopus hands and then it works you are suddenly going at it and you're all in it's great so a little fake it till you make it can work folks yeah there you go i don't know hot tips dr laura but then what happened you just gave it all up and said it's too much work probably no i don't know there's still a bit of that in there i guess it gets woven in but then i think that mutual respect kind of starts to happen because then you get the results you want you know i was getting the dishes cleaned a little more or whatever it was and then i was happier and then he was happier it just kind of built from there so a little wily womanly ways kind of went a long way so that's good yeah it does work in that department but yeah the expectations of living together that was a big deal um let's take a break and hear from our sponsors and then we're gonna um talk about that like personal space julianne guess what what we are 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i think it's messing with my equilibrium listen all right all right we're back thank you uh dream dinners for sponsoring our episode okay um and podcast in general we love them hi sheila all right let's here jillian was just showing me how she has this neck stiff neck thing and she can crack it but it has kind of ruined her neck over time here let's hear but i've already got the big ones out okay okay here we go that was burp

could anyone hear it basically sounds like popcorn she's she's got her mouth open and she's doing rotations and it sounds like popcorn is going to start shooting out of her mouth that's so gnarly but it's not even that was not the big one sometimes it'll go yeah uh it all started with a massaging device from brookstone i think it popped something out of its joint and it felt good and then i kept obsessing and apparently when you crack is that the one you gave to me yeah oh boy thanks is that why it's broken probably because i would lay on it and who cares about this really except that i think i jacked up my neck and now you get excited about popping it because it releases that dopamine i guess right i don't even know and then you start loosening the tendon and one side i'll start overcompensating for the other because one tendon's too loose which is what cracking does apparently so is that why there's noise i thought it was like air escaping a joint or something like that we're also drinking coffee that but i said what's i asked a chiropractor lady doctor i don't even know if she was a chiropractor but it was someone who knew what they were talking about and i said what are the downsides of cracking because i've heard two different sides who cares it's just releasing air and then other people say that's bad she said the only downside may be that you are loosening the tendon every time you crack you're pulling it so it's now more elasticity isn't it so your other tighter side starts overcompensating for that looseness in and that made the most sense i think from what i've heard a yeah that makes sense let's go back to personal space i love cracking bones though that's great um all right so we looked up a article of five ways to protect your personal space because how are you feeling about being in our house in personal space you i know we're we know we're all busy and it's very disjointed but you do get a chunk of time in the middle of the day but in general how do you feel do people keep coming in animals do i know that no it's not that it's just an adjustment from living by my i will speak for myself because it's me we're speaking about self i say actually i did have to cough sorry about that um is that a noise at the door i don't think so i think it was a coffee pot okay

point living by oneself for so long and now i'm in an environment with a lot of people is an adjustment granted there are a lot of family so it doesn't feel super uncomfortable but i do have to figure out when you're used to doing anything you want at any hour of the day you could take a bath in the middle of the day you i mean if you're not working i guess but um yeah hey big lebowski walking around your robe all day well that's the difference right because like when i would do school sorry somebody here this is early morning we just have breakfast coffee's happening things are breakfast to pineapples we're in tahiti i will say that it is different you guys are very you know productive people and there are routines and kids and schedules and nine to fives and that kind of thing right yeah very different and then mine would be i mean i would wake up early and everything it's just how to insert you're being dropped into someone else's world yeah which is fine it just takes a minute to adjust it and i don't know if you've ever had to do that um to live in someone else's world imagine that it's always been my world yes i've never had to go into anyone else's yeah you're right imagine what that would be if you like moved in with mom and daddy and you were like hi how do you create your own space in someone else's environment is the question right i don't know i know independence and yeah well i did want to make sure you had that so you have your two your three back rooms you have a bathroom a living room and a bedroom and a hallway the hallway does not have a door that shuts and locks though that's the problem well it's your wine hallway too that's where they get their yeah that's our little uh booze station i think is what we should call it it's their happy hut no it's just a counter that we decided to store our wine glasses on and our wine bottles around the corner but it's also got all the drawers for the linens and jazz yeah but that is fine it's your house and yeah also but we used our little half folding wall like one of those little things and set it up at the front that way the dog can't get in there and the cat can't get in there to bother your cat um but you like to keep doors open so your cat can roam and with that comes my roaming animals and then they eat your animals food and they go in your space and then kids kind of see open doors and they might poke i don't care about that though people are visiting and stuff i don't mind at all right it's um you could be like dad remember how he would put up his signs on doors and shut the door and just be like yeah but that's the team i mean because then you seem like an [ __ ] no that's not an [ __ ] move that's a personal space move don't worry about what we think because we all know everybody needs their time and space gosh darn everybody loves being alone gosh darn just everybody likes their own personal space hank so i wonder if i'm in your personal space am i like in the morning no except for when dave's taking a shower and you're in bed with me and we're watching stuff that was the one morning you probably made a good choice like exiting stage left because you were like let's finish watching that documentary and i was like okay but then he was in the shower kind of like how do i get out yeah my clothes are out there what am i gonna do here this is awkward but you uh i got up and went in there and then you were gone when i came back out he was like this is weird it's still warm from where he was sleeping yeah so and i think you don't notice but i'll notice like when we were watching a documentary late in bed and he wanted to go to sleep and he's downstairs kind of waiting for us to and i'm in the bed with you watching the documentary oh yeah and you're like yeah whatever but i think that's when i'm like i have to navigate this by myself because you don't care but he might care it is weird yeah to figure out how that's true well the good thing is you know him he wakes up at six no matter what day the week it is he goes to bed at 10 no matter what day the week it is and that's that so yeah actually although he does like to go up to bed at 9 00 9 30. and then lights out at 10. he's robotic that way so you can work around that yeah or we just don't watch stuff in my bed anymore then we can also move to yeah i think but it's so cozy in bed with a laptop it's the best yeah all right so back to uh official personal space advice here does this mean anything to you you've done more psychology so i'm looking at psychology today five ways to protect your personal space by f diane barth what's the lcsw what does that mean licensed clinical social worker oh that's what you're going to be yeah all right what is personal space why do we need it lots of studies university of california davis shows that there is a correlation between our ability to protect our personal space and our attachment tendencies when we're securely connected we feel more comfortable setting boundaries than if we feel either insecurely or ambivalently attached is that you uh probably okay no well

it's just

and there's the answer well no i think we're all uh that would be awkward for anybody but you you've had no problem telling me boundaries you said you know can i just set boundaries so that was why i put that half wall there and said yeah just shut the door whenever you want and you ask like is it going to be awkward if i shut my door and just go back there i'm like never that's fine i think but really that is where i have to see where my issues are coming in or it's just an issue if i really did go back there and hold myself away you'd get resentful i mean no because that was always the expectation we said that from the beginning you said that from the beginning like i might go back there and hold myself away i was like okay there's no expectation except that we did make a kind of schedule with the driving because that part was like really helpful and i love that idea if you could just pick up charlotte on these days and we made a calendar we circled the days that's it so i'm putting myself in a position of doing more than i because now i am taking the boys four days a week in the morning at seven are you four i think right i think just two i'll do that i can do all the mornings plus dave can too so it's just charlotte at 3 15. but wouldn't you secretly be like god this person's staying here no but they're paying rent and only doing one pick up in the day like dave said it's a sunk cost we already have the rooms we already are feeding all these mounds and doing lots of laundry you're not you're nothing you're nothing no but it just you blend right in and it's not a big deal at all and you help and you exercise the cat that loves his leash i know you set up this precedent now he thinks he's an outdoor cat but you love the animals and wrigley follows you around he's in in complete bliss when you're here you're the alpha dog when you're around yeah the hierarchy has changed wrigley's a stoner by the way oh poor vaguely wait let's finish this okay um we'll get to the wrigley stoner story because that's pretty funny no it was sad actually all right but we're getting there okay so here's some hot tips for those of you who care about personal space number one identify and accept your personal boundary needs um you don't want to get drained or hurt or angry

yeah and you do that too means if you are feeling anything say something okay yeah don't bottle it up because you have a tendency with your old neighbor to not say things right i know well i do need probably to leave the house and have concentration time because i can't get anything done yeah it's very hard i know the animals are kind of a player in that right it's like mom guilt for me you feel bad for the animals i feel bad for the animals i feed them all and make sure they're all okay so that's from nine to ten animal guilt from nine to ten yeah and then from like ten to one but then there's phone calls and then you'll come back at like noon so you really only have ten to noon and then you come in and then in the ten to twelve then i go well i should probably pick up and make things look a little more organized so there that gives the whole free time yeah so you don't yeah you don't need to worry about that i know but it's just not enough time i would have to leave the house and go somewhere yeah and concentrate yeah that's always a good option that's why i like taking my laptop to panera or something and doing work there because then i can focus or the library i even go where the hood see i said if i moved into your house it would be if i had a little hut like a yurt yeah down at the bottom of the teepee we're we're walking off the land and we're gonna find a place to put a teepee in the backyard that'll be i could sleep in the teepee and then you're not gonna sleep there there's rats and coyotes and stuff yeah all right so number one we did uh number two be polite but firm no problems there weens you can do that um you think it's rude but it's not i get it everybody i have to work on talking speaking up i don't speak up you speak a lot everybody else speaks a lot i just sit there and listen it's a weird existence yeah that's why we're podcasters you can get it get it all out now go girl tell people what you think i think mice are soft very nice all right um there's an art to setting boundaries uh don't use anger or nagging but just spell them out clearly calmly and courteously all right number three start with something small if you have trouble saying no whether it's because you don't want to or seem rude or to hurt someone's feelings or because you feel guilty or you're worried that the other person will get mad at you part of the problem is most likely that you haven't learned to set a limit and stick with it yeah so start small just like setting a goal little baby steps um know what you mean when you say yes practice telling other people what you want whether it's to watch a certain program i want to watch mork and mindy

on television and eat at a certain restaurant called horshack that makes it easier to say no when you don't want something like i am

i think that was whoreham no and number five stop feeling guilty many of us struggle with boundary violations because we are afraid we will be seen as unkind or selfish if we don't give someone else what they want that's me secretly i'd like to be down in the woods writing and that's probably very patriarchal all of me um our dad like dad yeah you really are going full circle here that's good though well i need concentration time i don't know how you do anything at the level that you can focus if you can't get in a focused place you don't that's why i love when everybody goes to bed and i'm still awake those hours if i can stay up from 10 to 12 like midnight awesome and then i wake up at freaking four in the morning until the house wakes up at six and those two hours from four to six are awesome two that's my solo time that's crazy yeah so it's not so go down to the woods girl i support you in that all right well get everyone else on board all right meaning your husband also because i feel i like it uh but you know what i'm not gonna feel that way anymore i'm gonna stick to my boundaries there you go good we did it we win we both win that's right um we're shaking i'm doing a left hand shake because i'm holding my phone anything you're secretly judged though someone who's not working and living off of sucking off you no i don't i really don't julian really i really don't i see you as an artist and are artists expected to work nine to five no they don't need to work at all i might need no but get some work though i need some spending i need some money i would like to contribute money to you guys but you won't take it so i will contribute and labor a little and also let's do fudge rippln projects together huh well it's happening and just yeah i think if you're if you do your woods thing while i'm doing work thing and then we get together on nights and weekends it can happen i'm gonna do my woods thing all right it goes up i'm gonna bring my um some chicken wire from my cat so i could bring her with me and then we could protect her from coyotes oh i can go on my free site on facebook the little neighborly giveaway site and i'll bet people have chicken coops or something you can do one of those set on top chicken coops yeah can we mm-hmm because those uh those tickets the cat yeah okay cause yeah you're down in the wild there i'm speaking of violation uh you just sent the most offensive well no it didn't send but i saw the most offensive video that was hilarious but you have to tell what was going on why you were looking at my instagram for some reason this morning yeah stole my phone and what looking at my instagram and the top search was monkey sticks finger and butt and sniffs and that was because my good friends who you've heard before in this podcast dave barley and sean hughes we have a little three-person text string and it's just funny videos and like offensive but they started at four in the morning they were going back and forth like talking smack about everything and because they're early risers too and they're dads and they get up at four to get their [ __ ] done which is apparently sending jokes back and forth but that was a particularly early one and i would hear it vibrating on my nightstand and finally to stop it all i just typed in that and searched for a monkey putting his finger in his butt and sniffing it and then i found one that i showed joel this morning and it was really bad it wasn't the one that is the famous one with the monkey who sniffed his butt it falls off the log it was another one it's a really good one it's a monkey sticking it's three fingers in the bottom hole of a bulldog but it's all timed it's the music that's what gets me time to do the music because it's like you see the three fingers preparing

and someone re-edited it three times to

that's my favorite when you talk through a laugh oh my friend laura does that too it's my favorite ever okay so we're gonna post the dog monkey sometimes you just gotta get back to the gutter humor but yeah uh that'll be in our monkey's always doing that just always with fingers and butts and sniffs monkeys that's who we are folks we're finger sniffing monkeys all right point butt pokers point was wrigley right oh yeah yeah okay so back to animals wrigley sweet dog of ours nice golden retriever uh lays around a lot he's six years old his little white whiskers he looks like he's older than he really is and he just lays around a lot but sweetest dog uh julianne is particularly uh fond of him and he's particularly fond of her and they follow each other randomly i guess you don't follow him i don't follow him no but he loves you so uh he followed you down in the mailbox and then when he gets out to the mailbox strip of grass he likes to run all the way down to the bottom of the hill that's part of his uh i was fixing your combo look down oh that's what it was yeah yeah yeah where your stuff is stored and so he was following her and you walked back and he stayed down there for a minute and you were yelling like wrigley come on but he was like like his nose was stuck in something yeah so something was going on and um he got back to the house and back and i looked at it and i was like oh he had his nose in the poo-poo pile what oh wait you knew that at that point well he was stuck on something he was like rooting around and i was like wrigley what are you doing and it was in the street or in the grass it was like yeah well there was a your gardener was in the street kind of blocking him and i was like what is he doing and then i went and walked back down and he was at the final lick uh so there was this big pile of doo doo that we had seen earlier on the street which isn't uncommon because the coyotes traipse around all night and early morning and leave this one was particularly diarrhea-y yeah and it was a different one it was a different it had a different look to it let's just say so it might have been human

so anyway uh he comes back up to the house and look at his chops and i immediately walk in the door and go i think your dog just said doo-doo to joel remember that yes instantly okay i don't remember i was probably running around frantically going no you were unappointed you're frantically doing something yeah all right so then it wasn't until 4 p.m that we noticed some some oddly sleepy dog behavior and um and we toby tossed a little toy to him and he did this weird herky jerky thing flinching like really but over and over like it almost looked like a seizure and he was like mom something's wrong with wrigley and i tried it too i was like what whoa and thought maybe he was just sleepy waking up but then i went and got his favorite snack cheese and he like barely ate it which was like oh god that's unheard of something was wrong he loves cheese yeah he'll do anything i would do anything for cheese but i won't do that sorry and he uh that's when i called the vet and said the video that i had taken and they said take them to an er immediately because they thought it might be poisoning you have a couple poisonous plants on your yard and they were saying it might be neurological toxicity yeah either like a bad mushroom or a uh that castor oil bean or sago palms we have all of those not good i should probably get rid of those so we took him to the er they looked at his pupils and they deemed him [ __ ] high as a kite kite they were laughing he's high yeah poor dog dave and joelle took him and i watched the kids and how was that ride were you like freaked out you were mad because dave wasn't home one time right yeah he's like i'll be there i'm coming and took his time a little bit and i was like in frantic er mode i thought he was having a seizure i thought we were going to lose him and so i took off without him and we passed each other on the way there and then i he's like let me just park my car at home it's fine just i'll jump in there so i've turned around followed him back he jumped in the car went to the er and uh yeah they ran all these tests on him figured out they thought it was marijuana that he had ingested so then we backtracked to the poop pile now you think it's poop dave thinks you're crazy right wasn't he like stop with the human poop yeah oh but i kept talking to the vet on the phone about it i'm like oh it was probably the human poop we saw on the street and this poor vet's trying to be all medical and i had to keep telling her it was runny but it was really brown i was describing it dave was standing next to me with his eyes wide and his head and his hands shaking back and forth like no why are you telling her this dave told me he thought he's like he's gonna think that we're the ones that are because it was so weird that we were like covering up the fact that we're marijuana people or something it sounded really shady like there's way too many details it sounds like you're making this up like but it's true it does really poop but it was it wasn't us okay but here's the backstory on all this okay yeah but then right the lollipop for three days right there was a suspicious car that was parking on the side of your property outside of your property but down where you've got kind of a it's a great place to smoke weed basically let's see if you're a kid you would go to the side of joel's property it's the end of a cul-de-sac there's a trail and there's a nice view there's a nice view it's like an inspiration point right so it's a good place and there's your trees kind of shade a car so they can kind of hide but not from me because i've got the egg old blood and i'm a bloodhound and if something suspicious i notice it so i did notice a car that was parking there a couple days and when the kids were helping me move some boxes down to the shed elliott goes someone burning something and i was like i didn't smell it at that time but he thought like maybe it's a wood fire stove a lot of people around here seemed to burn it and he was like huh and then the next day i was down there doing something else and i smelled weed so i got a whiff of it somehow but i don't know if the car was there i don't know if i noticed it then and then it was a suspicious blue toyota that was parking there and then license plate just kidding she did take a pcf yeah so the first time i i realized that it was like the third day they were back and then i go i'm gonna take a picture of their license plate except it was raining that day and i had to go pick up someone so i was like rushing out the door getting into joel mode and uh i was like i'm gonna take a picture of the license plate and my camera all it did is focus on the dew drops on my windshield so the license plate was too blurry but the next day they came back and i happened to be walking the cat and then as one does as one does on the base of her property insider property and uh that car pulled up right outside of the gate in perfect alignment with my snapping finger so i snapped a picture of their license plate oh wait the day before when the dewdrop day i didn't draw a picture the human one or yeah the yeah not the doo doo drop but the dude drops on the windshield you seem like you're bored of the story no no i like the story okay so the dude the dewdrop day when i did not capture the license plate i've been reading a book called the gift of fear by this fbi guy whatever he teaches you how to assess whether it's a fearful situation or not and a very interesting book bestseller by the way oprah winfrey likes it by the way every person should read this book by the way anyway uh it was to kind of confront the person who you think is the weirdo and you make eye contact so they know you know they're there so i went down to their car and i looked in and their lights were on which i've done that too where you park your car and you don't turn your lights off and your battery dies so that was my in and i drove by their car their windows were down and the guy put his hood over his face so i couldn't see him and i was like hey your lights are on and i sat there and kind of smiled like ralphie in line at the christmas story i like the ten man yeah so i just kind of stayed there i was like i see you and the girl didn't look at me either it was like a they look like a little you know indie punk couple yeah but i couldn't really see the guy's face but i saw her and she was not looking at me she put her head way back like trying not to look at me and look straight ahead oh my god i might see you [ __ ] and then i turned around so then they came back the next day like a couple of roofs that's hutzpah put spa so i was there and the bushes happened to be right there in the bushes next to me like this lady needs to get a life stop walking your cat in the bushes yeah like try getting a job ma'am so anyway this is the luxury life of sitting in bushes and taking pictures so i happened to be right in that bush with my bright yellow iphone and i was and i started and i was already down on the ground with scooby your cat was already stalking and i was down there helping him get some grass so i was already down in stock position and i was like ah so i started waddling with my in my stocking position towards the gate and i stuck my hand out of the gate i snapped the picture with my bright yellow camera which i think they saw and they immediately sped off rare like she's reached a new level of weird she's on her belly crawling

a vietnam vet in the freaking foliage i was and my shoe got caught i tripped at one point because you've got all those vines back there but i was in the foliage like a foxhole there he comes with the bright yellow phone they did not come back but okay so the next day after the wrigley vet experience i wanted to go back and investigate of course you guys have kind of just chalked it up as marijuana left it alone not me i've got that angled jean should have closed the loop on this investigation so i went back and we had both noticed a lollipop strangely noticed a lollipop another gift of fear from that book i was reading use your intuition if something seems out of place basically by the way intuition is not a mystical thing most people who in situations where they're like they got raped or they you know weren't an elevator with a weird unabomber or something it was intuition quote unquote is your brain quickly assessing weird situations so intuition isn't really intuition it's like that guy was too close that guy asked me too many questions he used the word we are we having a good day so that's a way of getting you in their closed loop of like bonding with you it's called something i can't remember but um so all these little things kind of or like let me help you with your bag and you're kind of like no well no let me let me help you and you go okay even though you felt weird so all those intuitions are really just like you're doing the born identity of like this is weird that's weird that's where that's right so follow that whatever you want to call it it's you quickly assessing the situation's not right right so it's logical brain stuff and listen to your gut like does your belly actually like lurch do you get like that yeah and most the people later they'll say all of those things were not feeling right and uh ugh there's some good stories in there gift of fear folks get that book it teaches you a lot point i'm gonna look up the author okay um yeah he has his own consulting agency so he works for a lot of stars one of them he was called for olivia newton john do you remember when she was being stalked by that guy oh yeah yeah and he ended up killing his parents in another what two kids and he was on the loose two people his cousins across the street murdered them murdered his parents oh my god next on the list he had a supreme court justice sandra day o'connor i think and olivia newton-john and they figured why what was his beef with her because he's a lunatic and somehow they found out that she in one of her movies reminded him of his mother who had and he killed his mom like his mom pushed him against the furnace and he had scars on his legs he was probably schizophrenic and not you know i shouldn't say nuts but you know mental disorders and didn't like his mom his mom was the devil to him and she looked in one scene like his mother whoa and so he always latched on to that as she wants to kill me so then he was he's also a survivalist so he was in the back woods of her malibu house living and so he had to bring a survivalist team out to try to find him and they found two other crazy people who were also stalking olivia newton-john but they were harmless crazies like he would assess who's the murderous type and who's harmless one was like the king of malibu who she was the queen and he was protecting her so he would live in the back of her malibu hills and he was like in a little hut but he's like i am the king of olivia newton-john she's the queen and i'm watching over her and they're like okay he's harmless we'll leave him there there were two other stalkers back there living in the woods as survivalists so they does she have a huge property or just the hillsborough behind her house and melbourne oh my god but then this guy he she was next on this he really did go to washington dc for the supreme court justice and he got busted because he got an altercation with someone in the hotel he was staying at by borrowing their clock like stealing he ended up stealing their clock and that's how they caught him what anyway point wrigley so gift of fear oh yeah so you wait the gift of fear is a book by gavin de becker there you go do you want to read the description uh survival signals that protect us from violence um no that's fine just what you said act on your gut so my guts told me these kids were probably just smoking weed but my guts went back to find the evidence and found the lollipop with resin it looked like they had scraped a pipe or something because i sniffed the end like that monkey and the butt of a bulldog sniffed the end and it was resin and weed and so they might have thrown other stuff out the window it might have not but your vet said that it dogs are like 700 times stronger yeah it was something like they can eat like the tiniest butt of a marijuana cigarette a roach or whatever and get super high and that his symptoms were in line with that they were not in line with the other plants we had on the property they ran a blood work thing i don't think they checked specifically for thc but they um yeah they were pretty darn short and they they hydrated him they gave him injections of fluids and let them sleep it off he slept there for so long we dave didn't pick him up from the er until like 12 30 yeah one in the morning something but uh yeah he slept it off and then we had to feed him bland food the next day you boiled some chicken dave said he looked like a bulldog because they put so much water like a football pads on yeah because they hydrated him injected his yeah it's like what do they call that subcutaneous injections like on his shoulder blades it was weird so wrigley is we call him wrigley chong now he yeah and poor guy and that was one of my first thoughts when dave when i was explaining it to dave and i was looking at him and i showed dave the video when i called him at work um like he actually looks like he's high really like it was weird yeah like he was just sleeping just like hey man and then he'd lay his head back down yeah and then he'd pop back up and be like all right and lay back like geez all right i'll have a lick i'm tired oh and i wasn't sure i didn't have that like i was so scared i know poor guy so anyway all's while that ends well no more weed on the property ant-man has stalked the spot and we installed all these um and cameras they're real and stickers on the trees and uh now we're good to go because there were real break-ins in our neighborhoods el salvadorian bandits yeah that's what really got us going was my neighborhood our upstairs neighbor not upstairs but shares a hill with us um i had a smash and grab situation and i had to go search her house while she was uh gone i i went through and inspected to make sure they weren't in there which was also dumb man why were you doing that i don't know it was four in the afternoon and i thought it's bright and oh jesus the back door was smashed i had to walk over all the smash glasses i know i i went in with facetime and she was on the other line and i wanted to show her her house was okay because they had all the cameras and stuff and all the motion sensors and nothing had been sensed but they saw the dudes on the video right and everything no that was a different video there were yeah but basically it was a ring that was happening and they called him the el salvador this is what she told me that whenever she came to give you flowers for that oh yeah my neighbor was like thank you for taking care of our house because then they quickly flew home and boarded it up and fixed it and all that but she said it's a gang of bandits from el salvador with tools that come in and they sit in your hills and they look with binoculars to see who's gone and time time out when people are gone and when they're on vacation so then when they're on vacation at my mom's house during christmas you asked if i would stay at your house and i just imagined me sitting there with a baseball bat waiting for el salvadorans to come in at the base of the christmas tree all by yourself just by myself without the dog there or anything just like ready for bandit action so i brought my grizzly bear spray yeah and nothing happened and there were lots of meetings and talks and cameras and sheriffs and all that because they realized they were they always worked in threes and they learned all the trail systems before behind the houses it was really scary but i think we're okay now we'll see but good job williams you protected the house you know what i did i took cardboard cutouts and i made it look like we're having a party and i had my a fern i brought my plastic fur that was the other thing good on my last trip to joelle's house to move my [ __ ] in i was like well i guess i'm doing this i guess i'm gone and i looked next to me and i had a fern and i looked at my uh glove glove whatever you call it your [ __ ] holder skis my french by the way we're in french polynesia i looked and i had um my coffee so i was like i've got my my thermos and i've got this fern and the who is that the ashtray the jerk the jerk that's all i needed i was like all i need is a f for a cat and my cat my cat [ __ ] head and stickers so good so that was it and now we uh recap the covid thoughts and we'll finish on that i might have had coven i'm pretty i was pretty sick on christmas day i just laid there on your couch all day and my body was super hurty and i thought it was just because we had don adams my tried and true friend helped me move my whole place you guys got a u-haul got a u-haul he was my he's he's the best she showed up man i mean thank you thank you don adams and uh we did listen to our horror episode back last halloween he's the horror uh film producer writer editor director editor director of horror movies mostly yeah and uh so we moved in i just thought it was super body tired but it never quite went away where i was super aching i just kept taking tylenol which i normally don't do every day it was just like aspirin tylenol aspirin tylenol and what is wrong and i just read in the new york times that this is a huge byproduct of the omicron variant is the the tiredness and the achiness aches like backaches because all the cytokines get released and hang out in the arthritic or pre-arthritic joints and make people feel like that so which i kept just wanting to lay down and it was always lower back and neck where i have the issues yeah and tired and have do you feel less tired now are you familiar with me can think about working out but i was doing a workout every day with bands and everything and i loved it and it was only 20 minutes but it was a good workout which my friend scott barron barron scott baron the author do we have him on at all he we he brought a big shout out on our um our poetry episode yeah he's a haiku he's a writer he's got a ton of books out he does sci-fi and uh i want to give him a shout out he's a great guy and also bought me my workout which is very nice of him because i don't have a lot of money right now so thanks folks everyone who's helping me thank you dawn scott you and i'll i'll get a job soon i promise no there's no need your job is to make this amazing documentary matt and i are writing a hallmark movie that's right and then we have that wayne's there's stuff on so many burners for you you're the one with the busy schedule if i could get to it yeah i know so we've been studying by watching hallmark movies and these wonderful plot lines and exhilarating turns of events it's good stuff it is good yeah it'll be fun matt thompson thank you matt for the opportunity yes matt we are gonna um he's our voiceover guy yeah he's always the voice in the front of our episodes so matt's awesome writer actor uh director professor and now hallmark movie pinship what do you call this pinner ghostwriter yeah yeah so there you go folks okay that's us in a nutshell we are in tahiti speaking of nuts um and we are gonna go find mom she went for a walk on the beach all by herself in her cute little dress um which she said she bought online from a [ __ ] store that was really walking in my [ __ ] dress so we have to go find our [ __ ] mom so she's so little and so cute that it would never look [ __ ] on her maybe it was sunny and like a big lady or something yeah she reminds me of like she could throw on some tap shoes and do a cute little number right now it's cute a little cute little dress so we're in tahiti it's kind of rainy yeah but we'll do a follow-up tahiti episode too because we have some fun recordings from the airport and stuff like that so maybe once our trip is done you will hear all about it in that form but until now until then i mean yeah thank you everybody for listening and especially our patrons and dream dinners for sponsoring us and um patrons we do have some music requests um oh yeah we're gonna do some little ditties some songs for the patrons so uh let us know for those of you who have not requested one and we will start that we'll add that to wien's list carla reynolds who asked for personalized song thank you carla we will get that to you and she's also helping on your birthday party joel's birthday's coming up her 50th 5-0 50 years old lord of mercy end of march so save the day to everybody yep all right we will be back soon we promise love you bye

to make you

and give it one two three and feel it break down your spine

is moved mother down and laugh on the ground the group of the soldier fill in the hose get down

and swoosh mother down and laugh on the ground the group of the solar field and the host get down yes we've got a song of joy for you if you've got too many things holding you back let go get in the groove

and give it one two three feel it loosen your mind

down

if you've got too many things

your spine

get down

get down get down hi i'm austin rood and i'm phil roode and we host the picture show with austin and phil rude clever name each week we watch a movie and bring our discussion to the mics you can hear my opinions and austin's wrong opinions about everything we watch no you're the wrong one get out the picture show with austin and phil rood download it wherever you get your podcast did you know that the podfix network home of perfect package podcast mouse and wings old man orange and more has its own network podcast go wherever fine podcasts are found and look what podfix presents network highlights interviews roundtables and more all showcasing the eclectic depth of pod fix talent so subscribe today podfix presents on your podcast app of choice and check us out at www.podfixnetwork.com

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