E118 - Bathturbating and Powaypalooza

Bathturbating and Powaypalooza

00:00:04 - 00:05:00

This is charles nelson reilly. You're listening to my favorite podcast mouse sand wings wings present english. Isn't it heavenly being here with us. Mouse in weans. Welcome everybody. i'm joel. I'm the mom one who's married. Who lives in the suburbs. Who has three kids. This is my life. i'm weans. La currently in culver city staring at giant a redwood tree. Nothing else to say about myself. Except that i'm in someone else's house pizza. Did i ate some pizza testing because it was. It was a fun moment. You just had with your come on. That was not for anyone who is. That's all you're talking about your friend. Okay well But anyway i'm staring at giant redwood tree in the middle of los angeles in my friend's backyard house he and his wife. For up in tahoe. That's very nice to. They said he didn't change of scenery. An air conditioning central air hall hotdog. Yeah it's the middle of summer is it's officially hat are you You sent me a report of the smog and showed me how gross it was there. I felt really were you know how says air quality over your thing on your phone. If it says like seventy five and the look up and it will see or it said hazardous air on my god there. Man come to a place to be anywhere right. Tell me about yourself joe. Why don't you tell all these listeners. In the world listeners. Thank you listeners. For years what. You've been up to. And i said like to hear have you had any dreams lately. Oh i just remember last night. With adam sandler concern. That sounds fun okay. My latest dream was I was being chased by. Ghost's face of scream scream. Thirteen whatever installation of scream. It was and if you you might remember me from scream one that's right. Weans store seen the video store. She's wearing a royal blue sweater. If you guys all look it up if you can cause yeah so cute. It goes quickly but you were there No and goes face was chasing me. And i turned around and i had some big massive metal like frisbee and i threw it out like a frisbee and sliced his neck off and just offset his head from his neck like inch and then the whole thing went tip am fell off and i woke up bolt upright one thirty in the morning. It was awful. Joe yeah and then. I was up for three hours and finally fell back asleep. Then that dream. I dreamt that someone left her dog in the car. I'm blaming it. On brilliant observations had episode about someone actually leaving their dog in the car and The dog in my dream died and in mom's somehow came. She was like the cleaner and she took the dead dog and chopped it up like made it into food and because she used to. I had just mentioned because i with my parents. Yeah but when. I was doing something in. We were on the phone the other day and i think it was like mixing old cat food with new cat. Food as trick my cattle. Eat it. 'cause she's a snood in doesn't touch the olden and i go oh this reminds me of her child head when things would get stale mama. Just put it in like a soup or hide it in some kind of like weird chinese mexican taco. And that's what moms do this is. Mom hack mom hack wanna win. Stir fry soup burrito. Thank you every leftover. You can make it into something else. Something wonderful fried rice also works. Yeah those those things. You're supposed to not order soup at a restaurant because you to right that makes sense. Yeah all right. But now i have a snooty ballot and i would be able to taste our steel cheerios. Even though they reheated we went so far as to reheat stale things in the oven to give them their chris back now.

00:05:00 - 00:10:11

I won't do that with my kids. That's that's i do do that or does it work. Yeah really things. Get so Wet and soggy. Here with the hazardous smog. It goes into your biscuits. In makes everything stale. Smuggled sorry your cat. Oh look like a bear. I told you. I don't wanna look because they get so distracted. So you're staying blake's house to and he's particularly worried about bears so funny. I wonder if you're in like bear energy space. You were just talking about someone chasing you. And then i see and i'm figuring we're both alone. I'm just getting weird. I'm spending way too much tire. Eleven yeah to your james. Okay what dreams. Have you had weans okay. Last night member member. I'm a member. You remember the when. I was speaking of adam. Sandler is the barometer of all of my life experiences. Adam sandler is a sage or guru. That shows it usually has to do with men or some kind of he's like my spirit guide or something and dreams. It's so weird. 'cause no one has ever said that since before just for the record sandler's my spirit guide shown up for the past fifteen to twenty years and he'll he'll be like the guy in busy over shabu wherever it maybe usually raise your consciousness. Yeah so stupid. I would actually go to his lecture or sermon or whatever they call it. that'd be fun. You would like them. So this one was i went. He was in a green shirt. Ladies and gentlemen ah green a shirt gentlemen's just four men. One woman that doesn't make sense. He was laying down in a forest green shirts. Ladies and he. I went to go lay in the crooked his armpit and he was like shop. He said i don't know like no wasn't into it and it was because i was trying to be too. He was married in. Its wife was in like somewhere close by and he was like oh donor and i didn't get hurt or feel weird about it but i went. Oh yeah okay. That's that's good like he's trying boundaries or something interesting. Did that answer question. You do your whole dream setup. What is it called again. Premonition game incubation incubation. That's yeah i had asked a question of. What is the next step in my like schooling life or what. Where do i go next after this chapter is closed and so what would that be. A heaven really analyzed it. So what would that mean if someone's like drawing boundaries telling you they can't hook up or they can't do that i don't know. Is there anybody you're interested in. Who's not available. Perhaps are your celebrity crushes. These days is tom. Hardy saying patrons l. I don't know nothing celebrity. Crushes those have those like well. Obviously adam sandler comes up every night. So maybe do i think he's the guru of guys you know it's he's the guy that will tell me where i'm at with men in general got it. Wait anyway i know right my mouth you have a white san goatee. You look like There wow your eyes intense okay. We're doing that thing. We said we didn't do audio. Weren't gonna turn on our videos because it makes for terrible radio but if you guys are youtube you could see the inner of my eyes. Yeah it's crazy dude. Get outta here. You're scared weird is that let's face. You're going to chop off my this gus okay. Now what is that joel armpits. Armpits them armpits are disgusting. Little bushley hair weird in jaw. Nobody needs to see that tournament remote disgusting. Don't get youtube. Everyone whatever you youtube it just looks like some weird truckers stubble. It does not. it's not that bad. I could see it. No i asked him. Here's the thing when you are going through. Peri menopause like i think i am because my hair is very thin. I used to blame it on stress and kids. I think i'm just going through hormonal changes and yet but it's weird because you my eyebrows are not as thick and dark anymore and i don't have to shave as much which is kind of a bonus.

00:10:12 - 00:15:00

I'm just going to put that out there for women worried about that. It's that's a nice fun. Little trick okay. Smack to dreams i. It might mean except that i'm trying to I don't know workout. All my maybe. I'm just like to lola happy during the day and on my bad step has to come out at night. Well obviously if you're you're cutting off people's heads and you're waking up worried about your kids and your cat is licking her tweet we. It's a him. Yes okay this. let's please can. We can't talk now and can't catch doc. Okay kachuck cats all right this. What you're seeing in the background and my video right now is going to turn into what dave and i finally have nicknamed bath debating. Now you may think. I just list but i did not. What i said was bath. Our cat takes a bath. He looks himself until it becomes sensual. He passed debates. He's always i swear to god he gets himself in these Very you know. He's very limber. Look at how well. He's not doing it now. But you know how cats can lick with their leg up in the air and they can get all contortionists while he gets gone on his own little nipples and He really gets into it. He starts pawing himself. He starts making cookies on his own fat belly and he starts purring and he stays there for a really long time. And i've looked up. Close it his little man cat nipples and there's no hair around them. He has linked himself so much there. All perfect little booby nipples with no hair around the. Keep telling you take the cat for a walk because the cat is like this. Cougar outdoor cat. That likes to pounce on things and super. Add and so. I think it sits in each too much and licks its nipples off running around more You know i mean. Can you imagine though like what is that. I guess it's like. Ocd thing maybe well how many people out there have tried to lick their nipples off you. Did you try to look your nipples. Ever mom is listening. I don't think so have i. Maybe just to see. But i've tried to do this. This trick where you're looking over your shoulder you try to get the popcorn off of it's skis. Really see here he goes. he's getting into it. He rolled over. Oh my child. he's it's a whole thing cookies on nips. So what do you think that means. Do we separate him from his family you just think he has too much outdoor energy. I don't know what do i know well. And then wrigley does the same thing with his bed. He really gets into his little seki bed and he sucks on it like it's his mother and he no. He doesn't hump it. He gets it all tucked under his arms. He gets in just the right. He humps you. I don't know what kind of relationship you guys have. But he humps you and elliott. You're his two people because we're he likes he likes to Rumps the trump. What is it called the bump. We got to play our song. Oh the song. We're going to do that too. Okay but no. I think with wrigley. We might have separated him from his mom too early. I don't that's his. like comfort. Thing he south soothes by sucking on his blanket. And it's cute though but it's weird. He gets really into. It is close. What is it with our animals. Why don't separate them from their parents or early. And don't get them from a breeder oopsy said it. Hey i love you. Joe well thank you you mind me. I love you like the earth wind and the moon and the stars in the sun. Wow that's very celestial. Thank you you too okay. What else do you wanna talk about you. No no you had your your cat talk cat. Okay this is. I was in the bathtub. It was a long week. I hadn't taken a bath in a while. Mostly showers and i went into the bath. That was one of those nights where i put it on the christmas lights in the bath tab roof and salt did you have your kneading on my own nipples to well. This is not. That kind of podcasts. Okay sorry creepers out there that just got their doodle wing right nipple. How stop what.

00:15:01 - 00:20:10

So i was just laying there in the bathroom. I had done bubbles to oud doubles. And then i got in my bubbles. You know how you can make them go over your face. And he was down there and i love the huck finn thing. I really do it a lot. I'll just put my lips out of the water because water to touch all outside of have a little and then so is doing that. And i opened my eyes for some reason the presence. My cat was right there with through the little bubble whole just sitting there. She's never in my life. She's coming in the bathroom. When i'm on the parts but not only edge of the tub looking straight at me now. That was it now so she probably thought it was a fun. Little fish it was all it was was the little weird round mouse amidst all these bubbles which reminds of our yanni episode because you described him popping up from the bubbles. Ooh that's his mustache and we're going to put our yanni episode on next week. Yeah yeah well. Let's use that. We're going to start putting some old ones in the rotation so yeah we're gonna next. We're going to go old school. We're having a little old school summer here so i like that. Okay done with cat. Todd close it out. We're sponsored by dream dinners. Oh my gosh she guys everybody go to jim. Dinners dot com right now. I'm giving you the biggest life. Hack the game changer. That really made me feel good about family. Mealtimes again dream dinners dot com or mousa weans dot com to get the link and enter mouse and weans ninety nine at checkup. If you're in the local area of power or san marcos she will get ninety nine dollars off your first full order and you can choose to have free delivery while we are in shutdown but dream dinners is a meal prep service. It's different than the others. It doesn't come necessarily fresh in a box. And if you don't cook it right away it rots it's already wonderfully prepared in bags and you pop them in your freezer. You pop them into your fridge when you're ready to buy them out and cook them up and you have yourself a nice fresh gourmet dinner on the table. That's really easy to prepare about twenty thirty minutes. Anyone can do it. The kids do it. Dave helps me do it. The foods are so great. The meals are wonderful. Charlotte was just saying how excited she was to see. A bunch of our new dream dinner bags ready to go for the week so she couldn't wait for for our meal time. Which is what. I want as a mom and i hope you do too. This is also great for single folks and even for your parents if someone's older and doesn't want to spend a lotta time shopping prepping cooking. This is the perfect Option for them. So do you go to dream dinners dot com and her mouth weans ninety nine at checkout if your local otherwise cheer location and just go for it. It's not a subscription. you can end anytime but good to dream dinners dot com and change your life now. We're back joe. I'd like to hear a little more about you and let's say you're weak or what's on your list okay. I have something to talk. That which is post cova. Did takeoff those masks. Folks may try that again. Take off the masks. But i have retainer the it's really to talk with now known anna retainer a tooth or retainer tooth it's a flipper okay so postcode people are out there excited to be out. It's a whole thing. And i was one of them. I jumped into and We went from a restaurant to a bar because the birthday girl wanted to go to bar. You're doing the thing we push is while. I'm not looking at the video and my eyes burn from staring at the screen. Some really absorbing like we're actually on radio okay. Don't tell anyone watches youtube unless you take off your shirt which we got a lot of hits thin. I'm gonna minimize you. i guess. Then 'cause minimize me yeah. We shouldn't be staring at each other. This is what happens. I see you check out. I told you to not look at me. Okay i told you so. Are you need disorder. Just getting now just code. We don't wanna be staring in each other. We're not supposed to be on video really okay but we are because we have a youtube channel but okay all right. So we're out we go to this bar. Okay it's a pool hall right but it's really junkie. It's this crazy local place. We go to shout out to the irr instant replay. But stephanie loves. It was her birthday. She's like very competitive. And so any way. We're playing pool. But this guy walks up and he's got the the wild arms and his wife comes wild arms arms and he's a very good looking guy but very well kept like the hair.

00:20:10 - 00:25:00

He's got the he's got the lip gloss and you can smell them a mile away. He had a great clone on and he had like gay. He had two girlfriends with him. No i could hear him. I'm like one of those people who put me in a room. And i can kinda pretty quickly suss up. Who's around. who's doing what. Who's who like. I make my my judgments at that jay to my Myers briggs right and so i- pm this guy instantly. Mike gaidar is pretty good. I'm like yep guys. Gay case with sculptures gotten terrible and so he came over though and he was like i Can i borrow a pool. Cue and he said it very you know. He had a lot of affect stuff and his hands were going and i was like sure. I handed it to him and he goes. Don't worry i'm not hitting on you guys. I'm gay. And i really wanted to say like i know you are like you don't have to say it. It's very apparent but then he proceeded to tell us his whole life story which was so wild and it just tells me that people are so excited to be out and talking to each other. Because by the end of the night i mean. We took a selfie. We're hugging each other thing at the same time. I'm going wait a minute. Isn't it's still sort of thing. Don't we still have to worry about this variant that's floating around and some people are vaccinated and do we need to were in them my daughter. She's at home not vaccine. It's this whole crazy. Dichotomy of were safe for back to normal yet we're not really and It was wild it was. It was a super fun night though and yeah so that happened. Oh you know there have been. Barbecues been parties we had fourth of a lot. It's been happening. Things are picking up. And i'm i'm here for it. I really am having fun. I have to admit so much that i caught him. Slimy mitre fourth of july was accessed. This was interesting. Yeah so this was. It was really just gonna be like our bubble family. The reynolds hang out with us in it was going to be. We'll start at our house. Do the pool that will go to their house and watch the fireworks. They happen to move into a house. That's right under the fireworks and it turned out dave's family came over so we did a whole big thing during the day so i actually cleaned a little bit more earnest. I cooked a little bit more in the whole thing grapevine. Then we go over to carla's house and we got there a little bit early before another couple was coming over megan and Our other friend cari popped over and said. Hey there's this whole thing. The road was jam packed with cars. We so what's going on. She's like this neighbor. Is kind of like hippie dude. I don't know what's going on but he's having a big party he said we can all come in if we want. So of course carlin. I carry had to go back and continue hosting her house but karlin like well. Let's pop over and see what's going on so we went in the backyard and it was this little tiny mini coachella happening in these fancy suburbs where we live it was the wildest thing and for you weans. This is like a day in the life like you just film that tent concert in the front yard the other day but for this is not normal so there were tents set up in the backyard like people sleeping there. Nobody has shoes on. There was like all of it. Drapey close hippie dancing. I mean pat smoke wafting by needs them. Drinks were flowing there is the farther is food. It was free love. everybody was like come on. You know bras nebraska's just very like this is not powei so it was. It was so welcome. I was like this is kind of how i grew up. Not really but sort of like. This was very little throwback thing and they had this tent with music going in stage and lights in you know a guy with a dog with one leg running around taking pictures and you know babies in little packs. I just i dead the whole night. I was like we gotta come back so we quick went and we did our family thing but then we snuck back over. We brought everyone with us. I wouldn't know we made friends. There was a guy there singing in his underwear What else he was all about. He was all about your big sister.

00:25:00 - 00:30:03

Weans all my gosh could attract the interesting ones at. I was married. And i have to describe the photo you reminded me of a bearded einstein in american flags speedo vest or something right he had. Yeah a little Red tuxedo tails but it was way too. Short on him. Says big belly was hanging out but he had little stripy. These and a whitish beard thing going on. Yeah it was like he sing america with a foreign accent. Yes he from italy. He was the national anthem. I'm not sure where he was from Something that sounded like jerian or italian. I couldn't tell yes. He was singing only right and he didn't know the words and after we shut off that little film because we filmed does so funny slow grain. He's like can you. Please pull up the words. I really do want to learn the national anthem love so we were sitting there looking at all the words together. He was in love with you. He did ask if i was married and i had to ring check. I'm sorry and he. He'll know you coulda had so much fun now. I know there's a whole other life out there for me but swingers. It sounds like it looked like a little fun. Yeah it was just a lot of kids. they're actually. It was just kind of willing family. Look just freewheeling in there was a amazing flamenco singer indiana's yeah that was cool okiro Dingle hello ah. That was so cool. And then later she came back out and it was her parents that were to the musicians to so she's like. Oh i'll talk to you in a minute. But i really want to go here. My parents and that was when we did that hungarian dancing. There's a waltz. The dave and i were doing anyway. It was such a fantastic. Was he open. Two hundred save was funny. He was so funny. Because i so carlin over there. We texted him a video. Or like come over. You gotta check this out and he wrote the find my phone here. He wrote because dave. I love him so much. He's just quick to judge right. he's quick to make decisions about things and say like yet. No i don't think so But then he'll come and probably have a great time. Yeah my guess. Yeah exactly it was a lotta guys which is so funny to me. Yeah he okay he said citing this is taking one. Forget it Earnestness great. I'm so sorry but it was. It was basically like. I'd rather go to the hospital and have my balls tied and not or something like that like then come over there but later we said you have to come check it out. The music is so great. It's so awesome. We showed him a couple of videos and he was like okay. So only dave came over with me and carla guys at home with the kids once he was over there where like good other guys go get our husbands and so he went back to the house. Recruited all the husbands to come back over and they all hang out for a little bit so it worked out like it or were they like. Oh my god it was a little bit. Oh my god but they did hang for a while and It was it was cool. Dave and i dance. The other two krona stood back and like you know they enjoyed it for a moment. But dave davis the trooper. I was so impressed. Didn't even cry afterwards. It's like you know your husband. That was really cool of him. Like i know i did not expect that of him. So that's really good okay sascha. He's got some life in them there and it got me all excited about weed. Egypt travel more. We need to go to experience more stuff. That was so much fun and like let's take the kids before they're all out of the house. We have to vein live in spain and we need to live in italy. I wanna go to all these places. And he's like but the firm. And i have work bob. I agree well. Let's not call it living somewhere. Let's just call it like a long vacation like three or four weeks.

00:30:03 - 00:35:03

We'll just go somewhere for a while so now. Why couldn't you do for a week or something. Well a week is nothing that doesn't feel like living somewhere. Like i wanna re-experience our honeymoon. That was what was so fun. It was two months three months of being in europe in like we had an apartment in in tuscany in where we florence and we had an apartment in paris and it was so great. I mean and you get to know the little grocer in the corner and you go to the same place for breakfast. And that's what i loved. I loved the farmers market knowing the streets and learning your way round and yeah so that's levitt. I knew it in a small way and work your way up to it and make it more of a real. I know you kind of entry. Into the. I think i think it does ads. You have to offset those away. Vacations which is going on in two days with the private chef. Offset it with rough living. He fired the chef day. Own to impose fired chef. I know we do get a private car but and we have to leave a day early because the next group coming in is like a celebrity group of some sort may need is. They need to days to clean the place two full days. We're picking up the cleaning bill. That was dave's other thing he's like. I don't want to feel like oh this guy. That's the bill thousand bucks. Fourteen hundred dollars. Solely i will cream that place. I will fly there on my own time right and make some money. Saint so the whole thing is just way out of our league. I mean it's not nearly but you're not used to india And i don't want to like yeah. Spoil the kids either not counter it by taking him to a shelter in feeding homeless or something. Yes i really think you can keep them grounded. Yeah work on it though balance. All right where are we at. Should we wrap it up. But i wanted to here real quickly. What are we looking at in the background in them and so we have spanish theme going on in your mom told me it is this blake's wife and who has she said it was spanish something you know the time period or the style it is it done. I said oh her. Mom's english so i thought it was something english. Even it's a spanish something. I like it. I like twisty would to do my. I saw the coolest place when i was doing cater waiting in new york. You would go do these. Really fancy houses and parties 'cause edward with chipper yanni. Who was a famous restaurant guy. He did the windows on the world of the world trade center. That restaurant with on that you go all the way to the top new Had a private catering company so we anyway one of the places. I just remember saying. Oh some day. I make millions. I will do my place in old spanish where everything's wood and dirk and old iron rod like chandeliers like yours right behind you do like these guys. We can't okay all right. That's kinda yeah. I would do that real spanish dark like oof. Remember shelby's house when we're on the ranch. Her her family house was like she had a big big front room. Big huge doors smelled like they had fireplaces that would just i love it. Poof smoke everywhere. Yeah it was cool. Well let's in our next episode to so we're gonna do yanni kids you're gonna get to hear yanni again and We're going to have mom on. We have old interview that we just dusted off. And we're going to pop it out there talking about how she does design work so for those of you who are into your homes and design Look for that next. It's it's a cute one nice. I sat with her to restaurant recorded so and let them come up yeah. I'm so excited that you had a nice time. I think i do your roots where you lived with me. Where we were on a ranch role would go to zorkin's ranch in the summer though once in los angeles where it was all hippies and naked hazo as roasting pigs in. Yes that's where we come from. So no thy routes. I know painting nudes and yeah that was going to be. The next state. Should bring it to power. Joe i know car got so into it and i have my fiftieth birthday party coming up in march and she's like. Let's do this in your backyard guy. Carlisle you're listening. We should plan this and we'll both be it out and can you imagine yes. I can't imagine i'm thinking of it right now off. God yes but are nosy.

00:35:03 - 00:38:44

Neighbors call the cops on us every single time we have party so okay all right. You did not hear that here. We did not shoot the neighbor and he give him a piece of birthday cake but secretly. It's got loads in it for this and other how. I don't think anyone says lose anymore. Really downers red blues on mike at nine hundred seventy s cop show black beauties. Joe invite embrace them and ask them to come in there. This is my technique when you have a party you ask everybody to come or and you give them wine in say. We're having partied live free to come when they come shoot them getting them in a closet like weird science remember. The grandparents got frozen in the closet. No but you've referenced the all the time back to my old movies all right all right everyone. We'd love you implicitly from the bottom of our souls concern of you who are listening. You're very special to us yay special. Oh i hope Everyone else is out there. A little bit safely Right in with your stories of if you're out in about postcode how you feel about it and you get anxious about it or you just like having fun. I don't know seeing the bartenders. What's happening out there. All right right this at mousa means at gmail dot com we are also everything is at mouse weans dot com patriots fan for those of you. Who want to be. Vip's and hear the stories that we don't tell here but we only tell her patrons go over to patriots dot com slash and means and for a mere five dollars. You can join. We would love to have you and welcome you. Try little tiny family over there. Speed it up my computer today. Oh my god okay. Fine thank you bye everybody.

<<MUSIC>>
Hi this is 2 Girls on a Bench. The podcast so weird to writers who tend to procrastinate just a bit we like to snack. We'd like to talk. We don't have time to write but we have time to do this. Podcast we certainly do join us on the bed in at number 2 Girls on a Bench.

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