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mouse and weens

part comedy, part life. A podcast.

Episode 62 - Girls Trips, Moms Nights Out, Female Friendships

Mouse recaps her girls’ trip wine tasting in Mexico with friends but feels guilty being gone three weekends in a row. Meet Joelle’s friends and find out if her husband is really okay with all this time away or resentful? Are the kids feeling abandoned thinking mom is selfish? How do you take female friends from acquaintances to besties and how do you keep those friendships going over the years? We go over reasons why we need our mom’s nights out and the science behind having girlfriends. We will post study references in our Show Notes. Hear the statistics on how much moms really work and how much free time they have to themselves. No wonder we need our time away! Then we read a controversial article about why some mothers don’t want girl time. Is it healthier to focus more on your husband or is it codependency? Joelle feels judged by this “blessed” woman who shoulds her, but maybe it’s insecurity and she needs to hear it? Weens does a great job giving advice as a non-mom and talks kids’ independence, giving up some control, and raises the future question of how much you should talk dirty in front of your kids. This is a good one for all of us striving to get balance with parenting anxiety. Please take a listen and rate/review on Apple Podcasts to let us know what you think! Thank you!

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Tags: Girls trip, moms trip, moms night, girls night out, parenting, marriage, husband, wife, mom, mothering, motherhood, female, friendships, vulnerability, codependency, insecurity, mom guilt, guilty, issues, social life, lonely, progesterone, oxytocin, kids, women, judgy, judgement, shoulding, overparenting, helicopter parenting, independence, controlling, overprotective, independent, me time, balance, passion, maternal, mom friends, stay at home, working mom, time, selfcare, selfish

Links needed: Stroller strides. Blog article why I don’t want girl time.

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Full Transcription, robo-style

Girls Trips, Moms Nights Out, Female Friendships

00:00:05 - 00:08:20

Here we go. Welcome to Mouse and Weens. It's us. Hi! I'm Mouse. I'm Joelle, down in San Diego. I'm Weens! I was trying to get my voice in there. How are you Weens? Good. How are you? I'm good. It's been a few days. For those of you that are listening on the podcast only we have a video option that we're doing too so go to YouTube and our website MouseAndWeens.com and you can watch it. Anyway how's it going? What have you been up to? I miss you. I know I miss you too. I feel like I want to find out more about your world. I have been working on the hit show The Rookie. Hit. Yes. A lot of hours put in and lots going on. Some good storylines so-- Why are you nodding your head like that? Well I just posted all of your Season Two Trailer footage which was-- Pay attention ladies and gentlemen! That's right. Minute 1:07 when you'll see the hit Weens on the hit show The Rookie. Yeah! And we had so much fun last weekend in L.A. doing our thing. And now this weekend, what did you do? What was your big whoop? Oh, well, I can't tell you. I'll tell you-- Wait. What? Please. Um, well. What? What? No! Okay. What? You're being so weird! What? Nothing. I'm really hot. Can I take this off? Yes. It's all smoke and mirrors! I was trying to look presentable. "Waah, look at me shine! Look at me go." I'm fine. We had a nice weekend, some friends and I. We did a lot of sitting around chatting in the lovely Atwater Village area. I've got some nice friends. Good. So yes. What about you? What aren't you telling me? Stop. Did you go on a secret date? What's the-- Stop. Stop breathing-- What? What happened with you? Stop deflecting. Wait, wait, wait! For real. Was there anything--? No. Why are you being--? No. Oh. Will you tell me later? Yes. Oh! See, there is something! No! A hot date? No come on, please, let's carry on. No. Okay now I wanna know something-- It's just really hot in here. Ok. I think I'm just overheated. All right.

So tell me how was your Mexico trip? What happened? Yay! Yes, so this weekend I went to Baja California, which is just south of San Diego into Mexico. So if you look at Mexico there's little finger thing and that's Baja California. So there was a tour. It was my friend's birthday, and she threw it out there that maybe we could all do this wine tasting trip because there's this new region of Baja California that's getting well-known for wine tasting. And you can take tours, and her friend runs a tour. So you can-- It's like your tour bus, your Sting tour bus - where we crossed the border. We have to get off the bus, go across the Mexican border, get back on the bus, and continue on. And we went to three wineries and then out to dinner and then came home. So it was a whole day yesterday. This just happened. We had a blast. It was really fun and it got me thinking about girls trips and how important they are.

But I've been feeling a little bit of mom guilt too, or just guilt. It doesn't have to be mom guilt. But that I've been gone each of these past weekends because I did the conference in LA with you last weekend. And the weekend before that - wasn't that when I went up to LA to the party with you? Yeah. And that whole thing too. So it's been three weekends in a row that I've really not been home, which is odd for me as a stay at home mom. I'm so used to always being there, right? Mmhmm. But with kids that are fourteen, twelve, and eight, they're more independent. Dave is happy to take care of them or so he says and I don't know. I think you put in about almost fifteen years of parenting that you've been the sole parenter I would say. Or the main go-to person for the main amount of hours a day. Yeah. So who am I to tell you except that it sounds healthy to have that balance of getting to go away here and there. But every weekend in a row? I'm feeling like three weekends in a row is a little much? Or is that good? Is this what working moms go through when they leave for their conferences and they travel every week and and it's just normal?  Am I screwing up my kids? Are they going to remember this as a time that mom was being selfish? Or is it healthful?

Let's go back to our childhood since that's all we have really to reference. Do you remember anyone leaving and you being messed up over it? Just the summer that dad went away for stunt work. Is that what you're thinking too? That was the only time I remember. That, and they went to Hawaii for trips and things like that. Is that when Grandma watched us? When you wanted to see Grandma's boobs! "I just want to see what old lady boobs look like!" You hid underneath the nightstand that has a little shawl over it. Right behind it. And Mouse hid there so she could get a peek at the grandma boobs. I was just curious about the aging process. Dirty, dirty. Is it true that boobs droop? So I snuck in while Grandma was changing to get into the bathtub but I was so afraid to move that I just stayed behind the nightstand the whole time - the little fabricky circular nightstand table. And I didn't want to pop my little ears up from behind to see what she was doing. So I just hid there until she got in the bathtub and shut the door. And then I ran to my room. Crazy! Finky Finkerton. Why? 'Cause you're curious - normal curiosity. Yeah, see, if mom had been there I wouldn't have done that. Guilty. Oh, see? Screwed up for life.

All right I don't think that there's anything to worry about but are you getting blowback from your hubby? No I'm not. Well... No I'm not I couldn't read between the lines. I was like, "Is he just saying that? Is there a little bit of a guilt trip he's trying to throw in there? Or is he just teasing me?" because he would say things like, "Oh welcome back, Mom. We we forgot what you looked like" you know. And so, I'm sensitive to it so for me I was like, "Ugh. They hate me. He's mad at me." But I did-- I interviewed him today. I got him to say it into my little phone. Do you wanna hear it and see what he says? Sure. Okay I'm gonna pull it up real quick.

It's an interview with my husband. This is Dave. Say hi. Yay! Hi! I just got back from this girl's trip wine tasting and it's the next morning. We had brunch and I just wanted to hear, Dave, your feelings on girls' trips and girls' night outs and that kind of thing. My feelings. I think you guys probably need it and deserve it and you should have as many of them as you can tolerate. And by the way we had brunch and not breakfast because you had to sleep until 9. Alright, we don't have to divulge too much! <nervous laugh> It was fun wine tasting. We'll just say that.  But now when you take care of the kids and you're doing all the house stuff when I'm gone, do you ever get resentful? Is it hard? Or what are your feelings on that, for real - from your heart - for real? No honestly

00:08:20 - 00:10:13
 

it's easy because we already have a routine established so this is your return on your investment of creating that routine so it's easy. Yay! I love you honey. It's so great knowing that I can just go freely and I have your full support. One hundred percent support, right? Right. So next weekend I'm going to be gone, the weekend after that... You cool? I'm totally fine with that. I don't think your mom guilt will allow for that. But yeah, have at it. Alright, I love you. Love you. Bye bye.

So that was that. Did you catch all that? Yeah, that was so cute. It's all good. It feels pretty genuine, like he really is okay with it and wants me to finally enjoy my time. He does recognize all the time I put in back in the day and still do I guess. So that's good. But why mom guilt exists? It's a real big thing, but anyway. Yeah, why do you-- I just want a lot of validation from everybody to tell me that it's okay.

Oh look at you. You don't-- We're podcasting. She just laid down in her bed folks. She's a laying down beauty of hair spread everywhere. All right so when I was looking up all this stuff trying to make myself feel better, I found a lot of studies. Do you want to hear the--? Yeah. Some of the things that they say about female friendships.

Well first of all tell me about your female friendships real quick because you were talking about this a little bit recently too offline I think that I have my handful I've always had a few good friends you can count on one hand and have had them for twenty something years. Jennifer B. from New York. I have Rachel C. who's gallivanting around the US, currently in Crescent City. And then Blake F. and it's my core-- I like how you're putting little initials behind their name, like you're in a classroom. I guess I didn't want to blow their identity in case they...  But, and then, you know, I've got more but those are probably my core people I call for stuff, stuff. I like could tell them anything. And then I have, you know, a lot of the L. A. friends are probably more recent but wonderful. And oh! Jennifer Martin too. I forgot about Jennifer. I'm sorry to-- I didn't mean to forget about her. But she's my Seal Beach pal and I could call her with anything too, and that group of girls. So it's Jen and Debbie and Brenda and Dana and Judy and a new friend Sandra that's popped in on our last outing. So yeah, those girls are always fun and it's usually-- Jen's the glue that holds all that together where she always has events and things have we all show up to. She's the party planner one. See that is a huge one. That was-- In this crew this weekend we have one that she's always the one that keeps us on the calendar and keeps us scheduled. Who's that? Stephanie. Steph. Ah. Yes. That's good. And it's been that way since forever. But yeah, my girl groups too. I have kind of different little clusters. Sounds like you do too where it's like, you know elementary school friends, then there's college friends, then work. Book club - that kind of started from work so that's kind of conglomerated. And then the mom friends, and that's been the most recent - the current one, you know, and... But it's fun because those groups you can always just fall back into and there's no... They know your history. There's no judgment. It feels like it's just kind of boiled down to those core people and, yeah, how important that is. But I feel pretty lucky that this has happened because I think it is tough to kind of get through a lot of the stuff in female relationships, right? Kind of past all the immature stuff and jealousy and insecurity and just really being able to be out there with them. In fact, okay, do you want to hear--? Yeah. We did a little recording while we were there because I knew I wanted to talk about this with them so let's-- I'm going to play that one now, okay? So what were you saying last time? You look pretty. It was too loud? You look pretty! Oh thank you! You do too!  All right. I'm going to do this one. Okay, here we go. Ready?

Alright, I am in Valle de Guadalupe in Baja California, Mexico and I'm here with my girlfriends! <woooo> And we are on a girl's trip. It's one of our friend's birthdays so I was just talking to them we're talking about moms trips and how important it is. And Miss Kari...


00:10:13 - 00:24:02

Can I just say one thing? Hmm. My voice is very nasally. I know. You hate your voice. Jo, you get excited! When I yell over a crowd I hate it! I'm sorry. I just. Ugh. Anyway. I said Snug.

This is Kari. I've known her since our kids were, what, two years old? So I've known you twelve years. No I met you when...  That was when you were pregnant with Elliot. That's right. Yes. Oh sorry, are we not supposed to say names? No we can say names. It's been forever but we have gone through evolution as moms of stay at home moms where our sole job was nursing these babies feeding these babies making sure they're fine. And now we're at an age where they're more independent and we can finally go out. Tell me your philosophy on mom's nights out mom's outings. And Stephanie. Miss Stephanie's here too. I've known her the exact same amount of time and [Kari: she likes me more though] than Stephanie has been our organizers so tell me what your guys know  ends and owedtenants usually  and  and for all of us to stay connected number two we've had one person Stephanie who's committed to be our scheduler and gets out there and says really to have other moms to talk to well I think we are also all sociable people that were needing to get out and we were first time moms so we didn't Taylor as mothers and then take that home and feel good when we're with our kids and with our husbands and I was just talking to Cari how have any other friends so we had to find some Utah and so and we were all stay at home moms to which meant that we felt like we deserve to take it out this one's fourteen now so what is what is led us us five to still all be together and I think it's a couple of things first of all it's a super big man was very organic very like we we join this to cope with other moms and have something to do but the way we met was not and of course in the beginning only because it was like an organized thing but then as we hung out and a huge group we all found our people right like we kind of found each other because yeah and we can finally go out.  and Stephanie mistakes go have a cocktail and I think that was something they're women Cari that have cocktail everybody that's our on moms moms night outs moms trips moms outer vitally important to our well-being and how we relate be and it was it was natural we were able to be vulnerable and talk about that life is hard hard vulnerability is the key to doc once a month or twice a month and I think what's made us last over time no 'cause that's the difference I don't have a couple of nights but are her and our kids have gone to different schools and we still trust in different we all have different friends and that's okay but we've just special bond that no and you know and like this is the perfect example this weekend where we're in this country where I was here three weeks ago but then it was suggested we come here and I thought well I was just here but I don't necessarily I was just happened and warm this wonderful friendship that we've gone so many moms trick moms outings we we found each other through a playgroup so it was this girl's time it's it's vital it is vital it is what keeps me keeps going it's all a balanced so I love girls I love you Kari. I love you too offense and get it out and then put back together by our tribe and dad were like anything I tell you guys I feel so comfortable that I'm going to be accepted actually having a good time or this is really our kid right now or I don't like my husband or I'm having a tough times God it's good and we know that will do anything for each other and we'd love when we can get together on a priority to all of us to make it happen not going to happen it's not gonna happen each other's little sister wives we can all help each other's kids out we bounce parenting ideas off each other and go through situation the parents of the same what would you say or wanted something to do the stroller strides thing was an exercise thing and getting together have your kids integrate and guilty why is important things like that but there are some studies about female friendships oxytocin I read one of them yeah switching teams we'll get to that in another episode. Okay these are my girls and I love him dearly and I can't say enough about it and we really do lean on each other so anyway yeah so it was good we had a fun time I did look up some stats because I was feeling like about gotten a full sentence out honestly never they're like I I always joke that my son has an ear in my pocket because he is I love you and that was a ladder girl talk but that's so sweet so what do you think is different about us in Mike how did other people fall away how do we find what's different I think it's I love that it's what a great group offends you have yeah it really is real I mean we really do it's our tribe I love when Cari said that we are Tad Light Sir can't pass is we've had parents pass away I've had is with children I guess Dan miscarry this just say one thing my mind Joe you got a crowd connects and I don't know talk without our kids interrupting us without when was the last time around our kids or me life I am telling you it's true it's so true if we could all just like own our shit and say what our problems are and other and just say I'm not hey when are we getting together next and then I think we all generally have a really fun time together and we report a spouse is also we really genuinely care for each other and love each other let's I'm gonna play that earned our K.. So estimate was too loud you ready Oh thank you you too all right parenting styles I would say styles socioeconomic can help having ask that we all just generally light to go out and have fun and we all like to the issues where sometimes we just wanna like dish it out and get somebody else to acknowledge what we've gone yeah valid would it hurt let's okay I also had my friend Daphne whose birthday it was she gave us a little soundbite as well as Carla do we were gonna play those real quick you want to go back but I'm not gonna miss the chance that all five of us can be together now song came but it has to be a commitment it has to be in some times we that's like a small small percentage for sure bashing it's really just ending it's understanding where we all come from we all have like as parents and his mom like we have another part of us that we're not we always privy to share and we get a chance to share it with each other and and the thing you were at last night I was having cocktails are your best friends with those I can only be friends with some many right and I we found that we liked I do think it's so important to have moms night outs girls night out girls weekends girls trips well we okay whatever it is because all of US support each other's families right and I think that's what it comes down for sweeping through rely we've had divorces I moved my space too it's 200 East Via Rancho Parkway and can beat out it's right by the North county right by the Nordstrom Cafe in back. so here's Carla yes you are one of my best best best town and we start a lot I don't know I mean in this world of social media and being perfect mom perfect volunteers all you have to stop a lot you really are are y'all can be honest and real and now so Dave is always I do you guys decide go out and bash guys and I mean under six months later you start a germ line when I finally made it happened it was so cool is such a huge part of my sanity just like keeping it balanced otherwise I get lost in being a mom in being on on duty and this Ed's and we the time to be genuine and be silly yeah spirit to real girlfriends two we have right that's Carla she's my buddy that's so cool I love she thought of that and he goes encourage the knee year's resolution thing that is that what you mean yeah yeah she's cute we we do that we will sit down sometimes we are kind of Dorks but will do these big trips you're like wait what did you say family we call it figures I'm like I can't talk big ears listening right might be a couple of rooms away and he's always like Because she gave quote I I tried to interview her but she got tired and she slept through one of the wineries the nurse on the backside on the backside and you walk right in you just find your way into my studio and it's great it's it's a big space a fun outside of being moms and it wasn't just about motherhood commonality and be wives and being who are we before and who are we going to of your bet she did this for me today she sent this to me so let's hear her thing whoops hold  took a nap on the bus which was great for her I couldn't believe she could sleep through all that noise but she did an woke up all refreshed and ready to go to the next one and I didn't get to in as women in general you know we're always second guessing to have whole group of people giving you encouragement yeah so it sounds like such a great group of friends awesome awesome we love her much in I can't imagine our friend little girls without you we have so many stories that were just so honest and so real and every time afterwards I might cracking up but it's it's free began we just we know that how the stress levels are reduced by friendship and especially for women that it's different in women versus men here we go the tend and befriend notion developed by Doctors Klein and Taylor may explain why women consistently outlive maybe once a year and we do what we call the compliment circle and we all sit there and go round the table and we give you the complimented so there was all these studies done and it was in men just traditionally were the subjects and they showed that ah under stress there's the fight or flight response but with the women they finally realized that there's a different response because they see I'm gonna find it when women feel close to someone levels of progesterone a hormone that helps reduce stress the person so they believe that it played a role in establishing social bonds over the course of evolution they to mouse in Weans I'm mouse I'm Joel down in San Diego things eighty go up on this is from a University of Michigan Study and the surge also linked to a willingness to risk one's life for the Out Says Dr Klein that friends are helping us live longer okay so that was one thing that kept coming up all these studies I would look up was we have this to say and it's like as you're always in my flipping pocket your pocket no it's true is true well I have to say that you are the right word but for the most part it's just like we want to talk about things in our lives that are relevant that are important that are there like past like little things of why we love him and what they're good at and I don't know it's just so I think as moms you don't hear that an ally enough or just and I mean there's not many skeletons in the closet I mean not at all over all these trips and all these weekends and all these night-out no all right man study after study has found that social ties reduce our risk of disease by lowering blood pressure heart rate and cholesterol there's no the job they're good anyway there was all this science about it do we have time do you want yeah the science of it okay I mean play Daphne real quick she was the birthday girl the am with with the color.


00:24:02 - 00:29:06

Can I say Whiz is that I mean don't go to the bathroom and say with and I it's a to it we're like do it you got it you did it you did it yeah okay Carla just opened a new hairstyle and you want to say the name a copy here studio and yeah I hope you all find a sister wife in life because it's super important we all make many sister right my family that's my sister sinead and if we remember to remember that one mom signed out where we all sat down and we said what are dreams were and one of yours was starting your own hair Salon and we were urging you and you're like I don't know I don't know how many years lower yeah like later not that far later asked me to be a woman it's true right we need to every connection are who we are sure we need this time or getaway in gone girl trips there superbowl that's right that's right and we call each other sister wives out to we give when they're together the oxytocin comes in and decreases that fighter flight feeling and lets you kind of hunker down with your kids and with your female when stress levels go down decreases risk of heart disease obesity depression no but there was something else about how it's fight or flight yet in women girlfriends or I mean I guess if you were lesbian would be different except they're the way that I see it is here's the it's important those good friends that will lift you up raise you up and I think there's something to just having no incentives with Oh UCLA School of Medicine study about the oxytocin and another study this one was cute Prairie voles. It's a mole thing. It's a monogamous rodent so they mate for life when researchers let me start that over when researchers asked more than ninety thousand women between fifty and seventy nine don't however women with strong female social ties girlfriends live longer than those without them okay so this is good friendship pretty reliable because it was out of such a large group so it's less likely to be coincident says Nancy freeborn Dr p h adjunct professor of Health Administration and policy. Boy, that was anticlimactic.


00:29:08 - 00:35:22

Maybe we cut this Roy up it's important for our health to have these friendships you guys this the bottom line self esteem what other letters there's all sorts of studies married men live longer than single men yet women who marry have the same life expectancy as those who so we're highly influenced by our girlfriends important for girls to not just women but we need to know this for those of us who have daughter the friends can help you live long I think it was just it was in this supervisors already being Hetero that there is no incentive from curls when you're just solid solid tiny just listens tells the good here it is okay this is that I think Daphne said it the tend and befriend instinct we weren't now Friends can motivate you to be healthier close friends doing exercise saving money volunteering good behaviors friends teach you about yourself I'm gonna go get yourself all dolled up you're not going to try to put on airs or be something you're not because you're not trying to like meet with them or attract them or something like that if your friends in the workplace they help you with promotions networking mentoring opportunities career development advancement and how much social support they had those who said they had more support were likely to still be living in the follow up years later the difference was slight but the data is love soap and they had that big they indicated that seventy percent of women feel prettier because of their relationships with female friends is keep you razor-sharp so something about a memory function friends can help you live longer friends can boost your career yeah good okay here's some quick points I'm going to do a quick list ready friends lower stress free they were raised with Oh gee that with I think it was the oxytocin receptors on a certain part of the brain the whole thing there so they conducted a survey and two thousand American women mothers were surveyed and they had kids between ages five and twelve years old they started the day okay okay good you found it friends lower stress when women feel close to someone levels of progesterone the same thing drew than this net versus wants to talk so saying incentive meaning like you're not is that what you mean just that you have because there's not sexual energy in my case from the Women Exchange Yell at your and so because I kind of made that promise I feel indebted to that a little bit like I owe that and so this evolution as the kids get older and I'm finding more anybody be healthy are you mentally healthy to be able to let me ask you this on a personal note do you feel more refer tend to our young and be with our friends versus the men who are fighter flight so all in one study there's also I have when a male vol- is put in a stressful situation he runs who's female partner and females been stressed immediately rent to the female per week and they put in the equivalent to two and a half full-time jobs so that's really only just nine point seven hours a day it just helps you see yourself in your friendships friends help you feel better I'm a lack of friendships and social support increases the risk of developing about myself again and looking into my own interests.


00:35:23 - 00:42:35

I guess it's just the self-imposed guilt and a need to drop that this is where I need to keep them Ashton available for your kids were excited to be with them after you've taken this weekend show okay yeah so isn't it healthier for your kids to have a better mom I myself this is my block is feeling guilty feeling like I have to be the one doing the parenting and being in control and I don't know I think there was anxiety or depressive disorder Oh yeah and then how much do moms really work this was crazy I saw the study it was a news source in two thousand seventeen not putting on airs or just seeing some looks good to try to woo them or get them through something or get them in the sack whatever honest feedback yeah off glasses friends don't make fun of you in your eyesight goes yes people strive to present themselves as positive Dan do all one thing all the time so a little bit of this a little bit of that I put the question out there I'm just the young dumb newly married me kind of made a promise with Dave I remember having this conversation like hey if I had become a state Mesa this stuff in hearing from friends here from you and just retrain my brain that way so just remember that one hundred hours a week how could this is yours we're all just trying to build each other up there at least I felt that way made some really good friends there too it needed to still very cool okay at six twenty three a m and they clocked out at eight thirty one PM which I can relate to that's like my schedule they work fourteen hours a day and one hundred hours aw healthy it was healthy when mom and dad went away which they didn't very often but and they went on a week vacation and were hanging out grandma knows very important time it was good or their partner or they'd prefer to be alone that they don't prioritize I guess going out with girlfriends or they're gonna die earlier saying that mom's night outs and things like that were a little bit overrated overweight just that they'd prefer to be with their spouse why I don't want a mom's night out but she says when she does get alone time she likes to spend alone she doesn't want to opted people and I've found that as people talk about their friends they are often talking about their current or the stuff they'd like to become so I guess or healthy available parent helping out I know when you hear statistics like that because you know that's true I know that's true about you yeah this is the stuff I need to keep to get a job like I'm leaving more often and I'm going and doing my thing so it's it I think shows them that balance good right you at home mom I will cook clean I will raise the babies I will make the food I work out I just put myself into this really traditional role I mean yeah it's all like choices and it's fine but and then I found this blogger who said the same thing her article was titled Aldrin or something or maybe her mom friends aren't at that level rate maybe they're more like superficial 'cause then she says something else which the idea of a break from my kids is taking a shower without them in the bathroom for fifteen minutes not an entire evening of leaving my husband with the kids while I go out with was surprising she said everybody says you need girl time she goes I get that girl time when the kids have plates or get togethers it's just a bunch of MOMS there with anybody watch her kids like she's picky about who watches her kids she feels like she'd rather be enjoying a good book or spending quality time with her husband okay your sleep meals personal care and mental breaks so all combined would you ever feel guilty about taking a girl's trip when you have another other moms it's just not my thing I was like okay girl you I just can't see that fifteen minutes in a shower that's enough time the other thing is healthy I think for them to be away from you and for them to bond with Dave and all of that is all good they can't I think there's something unhealthy about having your mom available the time they need to know yeah I mean really I'm not just saying that to make you feel better kids when I take the kids dance class or soccer or church or it's it's nothing but girl time she goes it's all the same conversations take that to the bank okay suck it Well I get I just hear stories like the so much and I don't that's what leads me to believe that she doesn't have that deep real friendship where she can talk candidly it must just be all surface level moms night out you know where they talk about the kids amy because they don't have my own kids than guilt that comes with it but there's so many people that write about like stop you're kind of driving yourself into the ground and kind of healthy let's see this lady also says you need a break from your husband and she's my word do you people marry men you do not is me up in that I'm passionate about and they appreciate more when I'm home I think in you know it is kind of like stay at home mom goes she's true right don't you remember working at Neurocrine and the female friendships and we all can lift each other up and now I don't know there was none of the kind of cutthroat this is them so she's coming crazy but I'm raising little people I enjoy being around and socializing with do get tired of parenting some days absolutely but my yeah because then I'm really like wanting to bonding let's sit down let's play this you know look the I looked them in the eye it's yeah you need a break from your kids and she says no I don't need a break for my kids she says I'm starting to think that other parents just don't like their kids as often as they want breaks for okay so you're really needing that person to feel good about yourself.

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