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mouse and weens

part comedy, part life. A podcast.

Episode 47 - No Lo Siento

(trying something new here...straight transcription from an automated service that we're trying out. Let us know what you think. Do you like these show notes? Or the paraphrased ones from Episodes 38 and earlier?)
00:00:02 - 00:05:01
We're back! Back in town, and business too. I'm Mouse. I'm the old boring broad in San Diego with the husband and kids. Just kidding. I'm vivacious and wonderful with no jowls. How about you know?
No jowls. She's a real Chip Chipper. I am uh, I am great.
I love your self descriptions. You're the hot Hollywood chick who just wrapped The Rookie her hit ABC show.
Thank you. And she's on an official hiatus.
It's my show. My show! And I'm on a hiatus!
Is this a real hiatus? Are you done done? What's the haps?
The haps is we have wrapped episode twenty. We just shot it. And most of the company is... well, we're no longer in production. So we wrapped production. So that means some people stay behind and do paperwork, and now they do the post production editing and the after effects.
So what's the current episode out? If we were to flip on ABC and watch it. When is it on?
I don't know. Oh, Yep. You're gonna ask me the hard questions are you? Tuesday night at 8 on ABC. I don't know if that's right though. I'll look it up as we talk. The hit show, The Rookie with Nathan Fillion who starred in Firefly and also Castle. Castle! That's what people like him for.
He's also in some kids' show I just saw recently and I was surprised to see him. I forget which one. Oh, it was the stupid Jason and the Argonauts. No, the other one where they're doing...bah, forget it.
Tuesday at 10 pm.
It's the old remake of the old stories of like Zeus and shit like that. Whatever. (Fact check: Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief!)
He was in that. Really? What does that mean then for you? Did you know that ABC stands for American Broadcasting Company.
I did. I knew that. Alpha Beta Charlie. Yeah. Ah!
And now they're pumping up.... I remember when we were talking about how The Rookie posters were everywhere, the New Amsterdam posters were everywhere, and now they're pumping up this Whiskey...what is it?
Oh, Foxtrot? Tango?
No. It's Whiskey Cavalier. Yeah. Whiskey Cavalier. It's the next one. Do you see those?
Yeah. Everywhere. So they're even down there, really, in San Diego?
No. I was listening to a podcast where they drive around. One of my favorite podcasts. Can I just do a nice little shoutout to Do You Need A Ride? I love them. Karen Kilgariff and Chris Fairbanks. It's the best. They drive around Burbank and your area and just notice things. And they're great. Anyway, it's the same kind of podcast.
What is the thing... Who are we gonna see when you come up here in April?
We are going to see Emma Willmann, a comedian from New York City. She's originally from Maine and she has a few gigs. She's on the Secret Keepers Club. And she's also on the Taylor Strecker Show, as well as Inside the Closet. Those are three different podcasts. And she's great. She's a very cool comedian, and I just bonded over the airwaves with her. She's cool. And so we're going to see her. She's going to be at Flappers on I think April fifth and sixth? Whatever that Friday and Saturday are, in Burbank. So I'm coming up to see you. I hope you're ready. This is so exciting. We're gonna hang out. I love it. It's gonna be great. You ready?
Great! Hello? I'm ready. Did I lose you? No. Goddamnit. Are you there? I'm here. I sang you whole song and everything. I was there! I heard it. Alright, good.
How do you feel being on a break? This is huge for you. We've been complaining about work for so long. So does it feel weird? I mean, we're only on Sunday so it's been a week.
So yeah, it doesn't feel real yet. You know how you...I mean, it's such a big intense thing to do a production. And then all of a sudden you stop. So what I want to do differently this time is not to just go into veg mode because there's a tendency to just go 'hmm'. Like at first you kinda go, "What do I do? I'm used to waking up at five in the morning". I'm still waking up at three a.m. to be ready to be on set for some reason.
 
00:05:01 - 00:10:05
See that's just wrong.
I'm going to bed at like, eight o'clock and then I wake up at three in the morning. So now, I have to train my body to be on normal hours again. But also you go from having a super intense gig to nothing, right? And there's a tendency... It's like how teachers say, "I've got the whole summer off. I'm going to write a novel!" And then you just end up doing nothing. You're just putzing around the house and looking at Facebook or whatever. If you had self structure, maybe you really could be more productive. So I would like to figure out some creative project that I will do for one of my own projects on this break. And, yeah, or something like that. Or just really do something. I'd like to try to shift out of this career a bit and into more of a creative thing.
So what would it be? Writing? Music?
Yeah, I mean, I keep doing all that therapy, INFP Myers-Briggs stuff, you know, which my friend just debunked the whole thing. He goes, "All the Myers-Briggs stuff is bullshit." I said, "Yeah. But it's based on Carl Jung." But he goes, "Yeah but you have to read...I'm going to send you a link. It's all horse shit. They made it up with no scientific data." But I go, "Yeah. But what if it was a self created..." (because I really I haven't researched it that much. I just did it. I'm like, "Fine. Tell me. What am I?") So even Carl Jung, they said... Well, this is one person's opinion. Carl Jung was a student of Freud, and basically Freud was a lunatic and a lot of what he said is completely ridiculous. He was just coked up and he would say that women's, what they call PMS now, they used to call it hysteria. They would lock people up. And he would go, "Oh, it's from having a wandering uterus. Your uterus wanders around the female body, and sometimes it'll get stuck in your knee, and that would create hysteria".
What?! I heard that but I didn't know 'your knee'.
Yeah. I can remember reading that. This is vague information from something I read, but yeah, it's... Whatever. Who cares. This is one person's opinion. But I mean, not 'who cares' flippantly, but...
But the Carl Jung INFP. What is it? Myers? Briggs? Myers-Briggs. They created it off of Carl Jung and then they started to shape it. It feels kind of real. And it makes sense when you read it. But then again, I guess horoscopes and fortune cookies do too so I don't know. Interesting. I felt that it seemed more specialized, but I don't know.
Did they tell you what kind of career should go into and projects you do?
Yeah, I did all these extensive tests with my therapist who was trained in it. She recently got trained in it so she's excited about it too. Because I told her, "I'm at this age, you know, which is very young." 22. Just kidding. But I have always been like, "I don't know. What do I do?" I just wish I knew what it was. Like my ex knew that it was guitar and he started playing when he was fourteen and he just did that all the time, day and night, and it was that one thing. And then I went into acting and then was interested in writing. And the stuff I love is always in the arts but it wasn't one thing. And I've been tortured about what is that one thing, and I've finally given up. I don't know if I know what it is. It's podcasting! Yes! What about you? Did you know your one career you wanted? No, and I don't believe in that. I think that we are all... evolving. Yeah. Like, what's the word? A Jill of one trade, a Jack of many? A Jack of many trades? A Jill of many trades? You are all in the arts. It's very creative. It could be writing one day and filming another day and photography, poetry... Like it's all kind of one thing. The problem is that you have to make flipping money at it. So what's a good way to do it? And I think you're doing it pretty well, it's just that your job to make your nine to five paycheck and pay the rent is super taxing. So that part sucks. If you could cut that back and do more writing and get paid to write or something like that. Or act? I mean, God, I would love to see on a stage. I think you're hilarious and if you could hone that in to some sort of either stand-up, or acting, or...
I don't know if I'm on stage person though. It was so...I could do it. But it took a lot to push myself. That's why I don't think I stuck with acting. I was just... It's not... You know how some people just go out there and they shine? They love it. And they're the star of all the parties. I'm kinda hang backy, and I could jump out for a little bit...

00:10:05 - 00:15:01
...and then I kind of like to come back. But don't you think that's most comedians? They can turn it on? But I don't know if I'm a comedian. You're more of a comedian than I am. Oh my God, please! Oh I don't wanna do this right now because this is qualifying. But I just love you and I think you're wonderful. I do too. But I think you've got that presence, and you may have a finite amount of time you can do it, but when you get up on stage, you can turn it on. You've got all the skills. So whatever it ends up being.
I love improv. I kind of wish - and I always knew this - but I wish I stuck with Upright Citizens Brigade. And I knew that that was going to blow up the way that it did. I could feel that it was going that direction when I saw it New York years ago, like '98. It was Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and Horatio Sanz. It was brand new, and they would just come over from SNL and people would just jump up on stage. Not really, but they were less famous at the time. And I could tell. I was like, "This thing is wild." And they had that show, Upright Citizens Brigade on. Anyway, it became a thing. And now it's so big that it's hard. I took some classes at the LA part, and it's just super fun. The challenge of getting out of your own head when you go up on stage, and you have to riff with someone, you really have to be in the moment and that was such a challenge. You know how some people are like, "To get out of your head I need to rock climb or I need to go swimming." Like that was for me the opitome of forcing yourself out of... The challenge of getting yourself not to think, and that's their whole slogan is 'Don't Think', because you can't. Once you try to think, you kind of kill it.
Yeah. And this is why you're always throwing this random improv should at me. And I go 'bah'! But it's what you love.
Yeah, you want to do it? What? Let's do one. Oh, God don't do this to me. This is torture. Just kidding. Anyway. But I think that about you. You're super fun on stage, and you can actually hold it together for a long time. I think it takes sometimes a couple of drinks to get you up there (or 7) but once you're up there, you're great.
Well, yeah. And you've got the training though. And the natural ability always been this way as a kid, I'm more shy. That's my natural...
I think this is all horse shit. I think secretly you're not that shy. And I think secretly I'm not that shy. But then it's a good wall of excuses to be like, I'm kinda insecure, kinda...I don't know. I think if we ripped off the fear layer. If you had a part of your brain, which they can turn off in rats. Did you know this? It's called Ativan, by the way, in my brain!
Please reference prior episode.
Yeah! But if you can the block that fear part of your brain and then the rats would just be like hanging out in the cage, doing whatever...
Hanging purses off their dicks and...
Tiny tiny mice dicks and purses!
Again, prior episode.
But yeah. Isn't that what alcohol does? Kind of removes the...
Sure. Yeah. It takes away that wall.
In some way, your barriers are down, you're loose and free and. Yeah. So imagine that. If you could do that and flip a switch without the boozy ding-dong part.
And be able to do it without drugs and alcohol too, to stand up on a stage and say, "Ok, here I go", and yeah, that's cool.
Have you had that experience though, where you jump and do it?
Not so much. I mean, I don't know. I'm just in such a different traditional life. I mean, dude, I, you know, typical...
You do it with the garden. You've had to go up and speak. Was that nerve-racking?
Yeah. You know, mine is all about if I feel comfortable with the subject matter then I'm fine. I can get up there and riff and I'm fine. But even then... This is so embarrassing. I had to do a garden talk. I got paid to be a guest lecture at this garden club. And it was just all, you know, fifty plus retirees in the community, but they're all expert gardeners, and I'm like, you know, younger, and I haven't been gardening that long, and I had to like talk about all this expert school garden stuff, and I got nervous. And my little voice was shaking, and I'm like looking around the room and all these old people going. Why do I...? Why am I worried about this? I shouldn't have worried about this. But it's whenever I feel insecure. If I don't know my subject matter backwards and forwards one hundred percent, I look out in the room and I feel like other people are experts and I'm not and that's when I get nervous. That's how I was in science, any time

00:15:01 - 00:20:02
I'm on stage, singing, right? The karaoke thing we've talked about. Yeah. But then in college, I was a sexual health advocate. I used to go around from class to class and tell kids how to put condoms on. Wow. I was the banana condom lady! I would walk around and teach kids about the sponge and the pill and all this stuff. And I knew it backwards and forwards because I just was in that world that was comfortable to me. So then I was fine. Then I could talk to a group of two hundred kids and not even worry about it.
I know. It feels like when I was interning at JPL - Jet Propulsion Laboratories in Pasadena, and I was doing that astroscience...
You interned there? Yeah. Shut up.
I was doing that astrophysics program. But I was training with these two scientists that were working on the nuclear fission. It was the derivative bomb when they were doing the A-bomb originally, but it was called the "Be Seen" and it was... Yeah, it was supposed to be funny like the "B-CN". But it was called the "Be Seen" because it was the bomb that would be seen now by more people like the world, and they wanted to use it as a potential like nuclear fission and A-Bomb derivative experiment to show North Korea when they were worried about North Korea. So I was just the junior scientist, but I was also training to be a part of that program. But then I don't know. It fizzled out. Fission. Fusion.
Fizzle. I love you. I had no idea.
Okay, now that! I want to tell you something, to bring it back to improv. I was always afraid to do that exercise. It's called 'Being An Expert'. And I would never do it because I was scared. You have to pretend to be an expert at something. I just failed miserably because that was really stupid, but I pretended to be an expert. That didn't happen! I didn't train at JPL!
You were very good. You fooled me!
Did I? You just did it! I think I just kept cutting you off. That's all I did.
You were amazing. No, that's awesome, though. I love it. You did it.
Okay. Now, try to an expert at something else. And just try to own it. Real fast. Just anything. Can we make it like clothing designer at a fancy clothing store? Go.
Ugh. Well, you know, when you look at a lapel of a trench coat, let's say, it needs to be at a ninety degree angle because the trend in these days has been a ninety degree angle. So if you look back in the thirties and forties, it almost mimicked that decade with the thirty to forty five degree angle. So that's really the telltale sign that you're not getting the right lapel look, which is a true giveaway of whether it's vintage or contemporary, so, you know.
Oh, interesting. And the stitching too. It needs to be double stitched, never single. And then you're on trend. Then you're fine.
What does the double stitch do?
It's just significant of the Drassonian era of tailoring, you know, as everybody knows. That was, you know, kind of in that same era of post war clothingwear.
So minimalist post-war. Yeah, okay.
Yeah. And you know, so, you know, it's very very typical to pick up a Wall Street Journal, and and see that these days.
That's amazing. That's where we lie. Thank you for joining us, Franchesca Scott, the famous fashion designer.
Oh my God, my armpits and my forehead are sweating. I'm looking at this trench coat that I have hanging here. Honestly, I'm going to take off my shirt real quick. Hold on.
The brown trenchcoat!
I'm taking off my shirt.
She is in a closet. She set up a recording studio.
I'm such a fraud. Oh, I love that you get sweaty when you lie. You would be a terrible sociopath.
Hook me up to any lie detector test and I will fail miserably. Ah, it's awful.
Speaking of which how was your colonoscopy?
Why is that connected?
I think it sounded like sociopathy.
All right. Colonoscopy.
What is it like? I have never gotten one. I don't want anyone doing it. I know you have to at some point. Is this the time to do it? Is it like the thing to do?
I think around fifty is when they recommend it. But in my case, mine is genetic thing because Grandma Carter, God rest her soul, had colitis. And so about  - I don't know how many years ago... five years ago or something - I started getting like rumbling tummies and bubbly stuff going on. I don't know if it was the food or what was going on.

00:20:02 - 00:25:05
And I finally got diagnosed that I have colitis. But it's not even bad. It's proctitis. So it's at the very end of my rear end. It's just like the little..the anus as you will.
That's where a skunk sprays from.
Sick. Sorry, go ahead. Glands.
It's just a little inflamed. It's a little bit... Like, I have little ulcers. Call them little canker sores right inside. And it's like my body is just... For whatever reason, when I hit...I think it was when I hit forty my genes turned on for this this colitis thing, and my body starts to kinda make little ulcers. And there are certain drugs that you can take and we figured it out pretty quickly. And so I just pop these pills every night, and then it kind of calms it down. It's no big deal. Well, every once in a while it flares up, but it's fine. Most of the time, it's just fine. So I have my little schedule and everything's great. But when it was bad, it was really bad. Like, I had to be near bathrooms and I had to know like, "Oh, okay. I've only got a couple of hours. I have to go from here to there." Yeah, GI stuff is the pits. I mean, it's a whole area of medicine that needs a lot more discovery.
My friend has Crohn's disease and he didn't know that for years.
Yeah, it's very similar to Crohn's, except mine isn't dietary. I can't control it with food. It's a tough gig. So anyway, they just have to periodically check and make sure things are cool and under control in there. So they have to stick a little scope up my rear end, and that's called a colonoscopy, friends! Everybody needs one at some point. Well and I think colon cancer is a big thing, and so people need to get their rear ends checked out.
But you said you actually enjoying it.
I friggin love it! But it's not the pokey part. I mean, I probably would love that too if I felt it and were awake for it. But I'm just telling you, after being the mom of three kids for fifteen years...or well, thirteen-, what are they? Thirteen, twelve, and eight now. It's a frigging great nap. It's a break. I get a whole day to myself. I love it. People drive me around. I don't have to do anything. I love it. It's like a day at the spa.
So do you want the whole play by play? What? Do you want to hear how it goes? Like what goes down in a colonoscopy? Should we do this? Colonoscopy Talk! Hey! By Mouse. Colonoscopy Talk. Poo poo talk! Poo poo talk!
It's not poo poo. It's just the hole. Okay.
So you go to the little surgery center. Oh! Rewind! You need to prep the night before. They send you, or they give you, you pick it up, a colon prep kit, which is kind of like a big sort of enema thing I think. But it's the stuf you drink. So you start the night before. You pour this powder into some water, and you slam it. So if you've been to college, if you've been to parties, you know, how slam a beer. It's the beer bong. Yeah. It's the same thing. So you get a big cup of shitty tasting stuff and you just slam it. If you can mix it with cold water, great. It tastes a little bit better, but not really. And then you get a chaser. You get another drink of something next to you. So it's just like college. So you slam this drink, you take your chaser, and then you sit and wait. You quick read goodnight books to your kids. (Or to your cat for people who don't have kids. Continue.) Right. And then you stay by the toilet, which is what I did. And I got my laptop ready. I got Netflix ready on my laptop or my phone or whatever. And then all of a sudden: gurgle, gurgle, gurgle. And then you sit and everything comes out. And then you go to sleep.
Really? Yeah. It's great. Is it great? Is it a real refreshing part?
I mean kind of. Just you know, like...
I'm always stopped up. I would love everything to flow down like a big juicy brown! Sick!
Remember? Like Augustus Gloop! 'Save some room for later.' When he gets stuck in the pipe? It's the Willy Wonka chocolate river! I love it. I see that chocolate river and I just dream. You just don't want Augustus shooting out in your toilet! 'Save some room for later. Help me, I'm starving! Helllp! Helllp!' My kids even do that impression. 'Helllp!'
I have an extra kit for you. Because they accidentally prescribed me two. Oh good! Fantastic! So I could clear you out in twenty four hours. Maybe we could do that before the show. Oooh! It's a party! Weens is partying with the colon cleanse. Stick it in.

00:25:05 - 00:30:01
It's kind of great. No, it really is. You feel light as feather. You know everything's clean. Like seriously. So you sit down on the potty and it's like water comes out, and it's kind of weird. You go, "Did I just pee or poop? Like, I don't know what hole that came out of. It's just water." So you go into the procedure. What did I do? I just took off everything from the waist down. I put on a little gown, and I sat in a room. And they finally put in an i.v. and they wheeled me back into the room. And I laid down on this table, and I laid sideways and they turned on the i.v. And they just said 'good night'. And I just went to sleep! It was great! And I woke up, and Dave... I have flashes of Dave helping me put on my shoes, put on my sweatpants. They tell you to wear real loose clothing. So I had real easy to put on clothes. And then all of a sudden, I had a flash of the wheelchair and the guy pushing me to the car, and I have a flash of sitting in the car putting on my seat belt, and then a flash of laying my seat back. And then all of a sudden I was walking in the front door, and that's when my little housekeeper saw me and started crying and was hugging me. And Dave was like, "She's fine. We're just going to go to sleep". And he put me in bed, and then he went back to work. And I just slept. And then two o'clock he came and he picked up all the kids. And everybody waited on me and it was great. It was great. And I finally kind of popped out of my grogginess around three o'clock, four o'clock.
But this is a sign that you need to be taken care of more. You need more downtime, girlfriend.
Goddamnit, it was awesome. It was frigging awesome.
This is crazy though. That's crazy that you would want to be put under general anesthesia and probed!
It wasn't general. It's called twilight. So it's this Prophanol? Propanol? Whatever. (Fact check: it is fentanyl) And it's retrograde amnesia that occurs. So it's crazy because they put you under the stuff, but you're still controllable. So that, I guess doctors and surgeons like it because they can still tell the patient what they want them to do and the patient can react and communicate and do what they ask. But I mean, it's like being date raped. I mean, it's really being roofied! It feels like, "What just happened?" And then the reports. So the next day I'm like, "Dave. So what did the doctor tell you?" He's like, "Oh, don't you remember? He said this, that, this." I'm like, "I don't remember anything." He goes, "Oh, well, do you remember the juice and crackers they gave you in the recovery room when I was putting your shoes on?" I'm like, "Nope. Don't remember that." He's like, "What? You don't remember? You were talking like so normal." Nope. Don't remember anything. And he was like, "Do you remember me..the doctor, or the nurse, wheeling you to the car in the wheelchair? And that's when you started talking about how hungry you were?" I'm like, "Mmm, mmm, I don't remember anything." And I guess the whole trip in the wheelchair to the car I was negotiating for In-N-Out Burgers! Really? Are you there? Yeah. Oh Goddamn it. Am I telling story to nobody here. I'm here. I was here the whole time. Sorry. It's this stupid headset. God I hate that! How long have I been talking?! No, I was negotiating for burgers. And I haven't eaten burgers and so long. Like, I'm kind of vegetarian now. But apparently, I was like, "Dave you gotta take me to In-N-Out Burger. I'm so hungry. Just a burger and fries, that's all I want. And he's like, "No, no. They said you can't have fat. You can't have meat." I'm like, "No but In-N-Out is really healthy." Oh my gosh, look at you, little trickster. And I guess I was going on and on. And then I was also like obsessed about who was picking the kids up from school. So I guess I said it like six times like, "Okay, you're going to pick her up? Her friend's coming over for a play date. You've got both of them, right? You're gonna pick her up? You're going to?", like I was obsessed making sure he wouldn't forget to pick up the kids. You're a good mom! And that's all I talked about, were burgers and kids. So that's where my heart is! That's all she likes! But yeah, it was frigging great and everything came out fine. They did a couple little biopsies of couple areas to make sure everything's cool and it is. And I'm on extra drugs. I guess I'm a little inflamed at the end, so I have to put extra juice up there. I have these little squirty things. It's so sexy let me just tell you. Ooh, squirties!
Do you remember? Did we ever tell the story about you when you were under like that in the dentist office? Mmm, mmm. You tell that because again, I was put under. I don't remember.
Well, all I remember... I'll tell it from my perspective. I came in to pick you up. You had me... You were doing a bone graft thing where they... It was more of an orthopedic surgeon. Am I saying that wrong?

00:30:01 - 00:35:01
I was born without a certain tooth. So when my baby tooth finally fell out, they had to graft bone from my lower jaw to my upper jaw, so then they could later do a dental implant. So you picked me up for one of those surgeries. Yeah.
So yeah, you had me drive your Jeep and was when we were living in La Jolla together. And it must have been ten years ago. I don't know. Something like that. (Fact check: the surgery was in 1997). So I come to pick you up and I walk in. And I'm expecting, you know, I was nervous because, "I have to pick her up and I have to wheel her to the car." And I was all nervous and I go in. And the doors open and I see you. I guess you had wrapped your head up, like put it in a jaw thing, so you looked like an old 1920's hospital patient and you were wearing all white, and you had your arms up were going, "Jacoby Marley! Ooooh!" And you were acting like you were from The Christmas Carol. Jacob Marley had that thing wrapped around his jaw.
Holding my dead jaw together.
"Ooooh. Link by link. Yard by yard." And then you were laughing. I was like, "Oh my God. She's nuts!" It was the best thing in the world. I was cracking up. And you just had doctors...like they were kind of chuckling. Like, "Okay. Alright." And you were like, "Oooh!" That was the best!
Yeah I think they like gave me an ice pack and tied it onto my jaw.
That was the best. That's what I'm talking about. You guys don't understand. She is freaking hilarious when you're drunk or you have...and you're always hilarious. But when you're especially on like second level like crazy, you just like start riffing. You're doing bits immediately. Just comedy bits! These guys are laughing. That was the best. I have my audience like all sequestered and under my control. I kill at the dentist's office or the doctor's office. Yes, dentist office! We gotta get her under more often. We'll call it Twilight Comedy Show. I play to only really crowds and people without teeth. Yeah. Go back to that garden thing and just start working them, the old ladies at the garden place. Yes! Ah, if only I had some bits. I should've reworked that speech. We'll work on some bits. But anyway, colons done. Are we done with colons? Yeah. Congratulations. No, wait! You're not even telling the best part of the tooth story. I don't want to tell the rest of it. Girl, tell the rest of it! You gotta go full like...
Uh, all right. So... I was leaving myself out of this. Okay. So I load her up into her Jeep, and it was a parking lot that had an armed gate that goes down. You had to pay for the parking. I really thought the thing was gonna stay up a little longer because it just seemed like it stayed up longer with the car in front of me. I realized I forgot my wallet. I was very irresponsible back then. I'm very mature now and responsible. Back then, not so much. I didn't have an i.d. I didn't have a wallet. You were ten sheets to the wind, like, "Woooooh!" in the seat. I didn't know where your wallet was. I don't think you had one. There was no money. So I go, "How will they ever know? I'm not going to be back here again ever. They don't notice her. She's wrapped like Jacob Marley." I know. Reciting Dickens. I decided we'll just take off, pretend... So I jam right at the tail of the other car. I just jam out behind the other car. But I think I wasn't used your stick shift or something. Or they're just not designed for two cars probably! But the thing comes down on the top of your car, or on the hood, and it just breaks off! And I just see this thing go, "Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh" and hit the lawn. And I just booked it. And just, screech! And you went, "Huh? What? Huh?" So the friggin arm of the ticket booth comes down on top of our car, flies off completely, floop, floop, floop like a boomerang, slow motion like a Schwarzenegger movie! I saw the guy  in the rearview mirror run out, and I just took off. I just put it into the fastest gear and I just got out of there. Awful! I'm so ashamed of this. Terrible person! And my seat was laid down, and I was like drooling out the window, "Baaaahhh". She was sort of like, "Huh? What?" Kind of picked up that maybe something was weird. But just like, "Huh? Huh?" I didn't really say anything. So we get home. I thought everything was fine. Off the hook. Everything's good. And we're eating cereal the next day... What do you remember because I don't remember, exactly? Well this is just it! Whenever you're under, you have flashes of memories. I figured that out. So unfortunately for you,

00:35:01 - 00:39:34
the one flash of memory was zooming through this ticket booth and the arm flying off and the ticket guy running after us. I do remember the whole scene. And so we were sitting there the next morning and I go, "Julianne. Did you friggin break...?" And the kicker is that the surgery was done by my future father in law. Oh, I'm sorry! That was his surgery center. I'm sorry! And you broke the arm off the ticket booth. Lo siento! With my Jeep. With her Jeep! And all they probably did was write down the license plate and say, "Isn't that the in-law girl?" and then had to tell the guy. Right! Oh how embarrassing. I'm sorry! But now reference back to the 'love stories' episode and I think we were on a break. I think that was during one of our breakups when he did my surgery... So screw him! I'm glad I ruined his gate ticket thing. Good! Fuck him. Seriously. I'm... that was terrible. You were emotionally traumatized. We had to do something! Oh, so much trauma in my mouth and in my heart. You're welcome. I'm no longer sorry! No lo siento! No lo siento! See? Sorry, but that's what you get. Anyway, you're welcome. So good. So good. Moving on. So moral of the story - friends, family - if you take drugs do not drive, do not recite Dickens, and...don't let your sister pick you up with no wallet! Make sure she's got cash in the pocket. Oh I love you. Thank you for taking care of me. I love you too. I'm alive. You made it. That's the bottom line. If you can keep me alive, you win. So I'm good. Keeping them alive. That's your prize. Oh, we've had some times. I know.
Hey what are we at minute-wise? We're at thirty six so we can make this a shorty since we've had some longies.  We'll pop in a song here. We hope you guys follow us on all our good social media. And you know what Weens? We don't say enough thank you to all the people listening. Oh thank you! And all the fans and great people following liking and all the good things. So thank you. Let's write a song about all the people listening. All right. Is that okay? Yeah. Thank you guys. We love you. Thank you. We do this for us. We do it for you. And that's it. That's that's it. That's our audience. But you're all great people. And I've got some lovely friends, and you, and some other podcast people, and we've got our family....and everybody. It's such a cool community. I'm really really really really having fun meeting everybody online and listening to so many other podcasts and supporting each other. So I love it. Yay! Thank you, everybody. Hooray! If anyone does want to do a little extra support too, we would appreciate any people going to ko-fi.com. Buy us a coffee. It's called K O dash F I, backslash mouse and weens. You've gotta spell it out. And then there you can pop in a little quick three dollars, and that helps us pay for... Has anyone done that? Yeah, yeah. We've had a few. Yeah, it's great. Oh really, because I haven't seen any of that money. Interesting. Just kidding. No, I will, um, I'll buy you coffee when I see you in L.A. when we go see Emma Willmann and have our fun weekend. So, yay! Hooray! We love you. And thank you everybody. And we'll talk to you next time. Bye! Bye!

Song: One two three four five seven. We just really like you. All our fun fun listeners. We do this for us. We do this for you, we keep away our blisters on our fingers playing guitar. You the fans, you know who you are. Thank you, thank you. For rates and reviews and all the news, the likes, subscribes in our Facebook group. Thank you, thank you. We just love the coffee. Lots of hugs from Mouse and Weens. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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