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mouse and weens

part comedy, part life. A podcast.

Episode 44 - Interview: Craig Abell Champion

(These show notes are from an automated transcription service and have not yet been edited. We are posting them to just post them, and will come back to edit in the future. Apologies if they are difficult to understand. Stay tuned!)
 
00:00:00 - 00:05:00
We live abroad as women of Indian rich, and we have a common thread that binds us together. It was a strong ultra background and women is black phone for women to champagne stories and experiences on various topics podcast is about inspiring NRA women, and their amazing stories some stories we've covered Intuit growing up in joint family name endear adopting a child as a single woman and rebuilding one's life after loss of child. Deco? Listen, we hope you'll be inspired. Or learn something I'm Bettina, and I'm Nora and were the voices behind an are women fast were all hard just nuclear an eye women wherever you get your podcasts or find us at NRA woman dot com. New episodes come every Monday. Make sure you subscribe. Now's when reason vows. Lead cinemas? Hello. Think will come this is mouse. And this is weaned. I'm the married one down in San Diego that call me mouse, because I was my nickname was a baby. What about you ate a bunch of cheese out of the package at the supermarket? My name is weans. And when they brought me home, I look like a big Weiner rolled up about it. Passage wisconsin. Hinz and massage. Okay. Anyway, we are here in this is this is our my friend Craig who's really lovely artist. And mazing person's a great photographer Craig able champion and he's a. Really cool the target for a writer and artiste of many sorts. He works for girl. Skateboards designing some skateboards for them and design one of their girl dolls that was just a big crazy. They had a big art show. These major artists to the girl. Dull should keep Joe Cucci end multimedia artist type and. I think it's just really cool. So we're going to do a little interview with you want to say anything mouth them. I just wanted to say, I don't know if this triggers people if anyone is dealing with bipolar disorder. We do get into that with him. And he does talk about treatments. Hopefully, it's nothing too bad. But if you know that that's a trigger for you. You may want to skip. I don't know. But it is very interesting. It was very educational for me and ended on very good positive note. So yeah. Okay. Let's talk about let's meet Craig. Officially. All right. I have to to set the scene here that we are currently stuffed into my front closet. And it's the first time you've recorded in the closet in the closet Craig's also in the closet with me. Both in the closet. I'm officially out of the closet. So. Does. Closet out of the closet. What is? Sorry. I can't hear very well or way to turn them up or get real. Sorry. I love making you guys awkward. I don't know what I'm looking at him. Picture. Okay. Good. Who is Craig tell us. What's going on? What's going on? I have no idea. I guess my friend from the neighborhood, and he's amazing. He's a wonderful and amazing human being and Honey feel about yourself. Craig man, where do I begin? He's an artist. He's of wonderful Taga for also writer and everything. But we're having a little discussion about. Focusing more of your photography right now. But how do you want to go into like your? Back story of all that you used to shoot for Burton. I dunno. It's up to it's up to you to. I mean, my backstory story, I mean have far back to you on a go that goes all the way back to the nineties. Good. We all stuck in the nineties. Really really about myself. He could talk ninety ninety. In Chicago at the time. Okay. We both eat the same things. Mine smells like candy popcorn. We're eating birthday cake.

00:05:00 - 00:10:33
Popcorn joe's. Yeah. Sugary early like either those separately but together. Why combined? How the nineties man what a great time. And they seemed great they seem to have come back around with these millennial folk is it having a resurgence ready. Yeah. No. Linux t shirts selling them at target, really? Pink floyd. But. So when did you graduate high school, let's get a round? I graduated high school in eighty six. Yeah. I was ninety Wiens was ninety four. Yeah. I'm old now we're in the same like. So why are you exciting? I wanna hear your story. Why am I excite people? I think I think you've been lied to. I trust my sister's judgement, she only finest of the crop. I don't know. What was that? Well, I went to. I was in Chicago. I'm a western kid. I'm a west coast kid, just like you. I was born in Long Beach, actually, but I was living in Chicago. I just graduated from the university of Illinois with a degree in photography and. I just kinda work and a small graphic design studio started by a friend of mine who had gone to school with. Called Ohio girl film, and design, and we were doing all sorts of crazy stuff. My lead to curse on. Okay. Cool. God allow you guys. We're doing all sorts of crazy talked up shit. I mean, we're at the time Chicago had along with Seattle had one of the greatest indie music scenes in the country. And it just so happened that we were called upon to do a lot of the artwork for the records. A sub pop label type place where everybody is coming out of. Or who is big then I'm like trying to remember. Oh, like, you know, like a lot of the bands that were coming out of Chicago at the time were like smashing pumpkins and Liz Liz fair. But, but there was there was a lot going on a band that? We did a lot of work for a band called home. They're actually out of Champaign Urbana, but just that general area. There is a lot of good music coming out of there. And there was Wilco happening in there was. There is tortoise in there. What is? Background of them. Brock shout out. And and we were also really deeply involved in the skateboards seeing there, and so escape boarding, and snowboarding and music and just a lot of subculture trouble. 'cause out of that office, you know, training theater in Chicago. Yeah. I sat Guba deller. They're nice. Yeah. It was a big cool hip venue. Yeah. Yeah. And our our office. Well, we had a big loft for awhile on Poliackova. And then are and then we moved our office move. We are right above a venue called God. I'm in LA right now. I wanna call the shortstop, but it's not the. The bar like. Berbie? It's. All of it. But it was one of the it was one of the premier music venues Little Rock music pennies at the time. And we were our office was right above it. And it was in our lease that we got into all rock shows for free. That's cool. I could imagine that like San Diego, the casbah or something. Yeah. I don't know. Anyway. Yeah. It was it was it was it was it was eight and and all of our friends from school were in the music business in one way or another either in bands or making, you know screen printing, custom gig posters or sound engineering or you know, doing photography or whatever. It's so we were all tied in with friends. And you know, it was a really good time. We were just all partying and going to rock shows every night, and, you know, working really hard during the day, you know, doing design work and making art and skateboarding and did you did that in the nineties except for the working hard part? Guys all live together to y'all kind of intermingled like roommates and Noel two of the two of the the guys in Ohio girl, John Andy lived lived in loft.

00:10:33 - 00:15:05
And then I lived did you say, John? No, no girl was the name of the company. Oh, yeah. John Andy lived in the loft. And oh, it's funny. I remember once I showed up at the loft one morning, and we had a slow. We had one of those old slot car. Tracks those electric slot car tracks. Okay slot car track. Is it was like a little boy thing. Okay. So it's a it's a little race race track like Hot Wheels. Yeah. Like Hot Wheels, except it's a wider track. And it's electric. You put them together. You put them together. And you make these tracks right train, magnets. Yeah. They're electric, but they have little groups in them. And then you put these race cars down on them. And you have these little guns, and you make them go cars go. But the best thing is is you can't see I had to move because Craig is enacting this just tick leading all of it. You know, the tracks running back and forth. She just did his finger. You're just took lights in my sister's closet. Just saying. Yeah. So I show up and Billy Corgan is sitting there playing the slot car. Track. And I remember I show up and I'm like, oh, that's weird. The smashing pumpkins are hanging out in our loft. That's cool. And so I walk over and I sit down next to him, and I grabbed the gun and I put a car down. And I just we just kind of aknowledge each other. And you start racing and racing and racing and racing and like his car flies off the track. And he doesn't even get it. He just kind of like glances at me and gets up and walks away. Now, that's that's my only lack interactions with. The smashing pumpkins with this. Next to him at his his base player gingers wedding. And, you know, set Knicks from the whole wedding dinner. And he was not kind in the world. Did you talk to them? I can see why he didn't pick up that car. Very very introverted now is very shy and introverted shine. Yeah. He was staying at the grand Californian at Disneyland. When we were staying there, and he walked by with his people, and we walk by. That's that's very that's very he doesn't seem like he doesn't seem like a Disneyland person, which is kinda weird. So I thought maybe he was having a meet up with Tim Burton and the hundred mansion during Halloween time or something that was my only like that makes sense pumpkin meeting. My friend, my exit a good story about bucket head wanting to leave guns N roses, and he was really nervous to get out of the band to know, but book it was guitars for while. And so he had heard stories about axl rose or he was just nervous about extras. He heard he was in the band nervous about him. So he someone told him to find a neutral place to do the I want to get out of the talk. So he meant rose on the dumber read at Disneyland. He wouldn't do it until they were on the ride. That's broke up. Oh, my God in the happiest place on earth. Public place for actual freak out. And it's probably smart all it plan. Solid plants. So then what happened I'm gonna pull us up to photography. So. Yeah. So I started my hurting. No, no, not at all. So I started this far as you know. So I started shooting a lot of skateboarding. And I decided to make us all sixteen millimeter skateboarding film called corn land what you can see on YouTube still what's your last name able champion plug Craig able champion.

00:15:07 - 00:20:01
There's a lot of champion talk. I'm hearing champion Illinois champion is there. Champagne, illinois. I've had a beer and wine already. Sorry. You know, when you normally when you shoot skate videos, you shoot it on video because when you shoot action sports, you know, there's a lot of falling going on and and films expensive. And and all that so, but I really wanted to shoot on sixteen millimeter film because I thought it looked amazing. And so I did my friend Andy at Ohio girl produced it, and we made it and it had like this really Colt impact in the skateboarding world and got me noticed in places and one of the places was Burton snowboards much at the time and still is one of the biggest snowboarding companies in the world, and I got a job shooting traveling the world shootings no boarding for Burton for the next four years. How old were you at this time? No. I think I was I think I was twenty five on say five twenty six FAM. So yeah, I, and and you know, Burton at the best snowboard team in the world. So I was traveling the world with the best snowboarders with the best snowboarding company all of the world taking photographs and escape border snowboarder, presumably, right? If you're in this. Yeah, culture. Yeah. Yes. Yes. I was I was I literally couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that. It was happening. I mean, I just was beside myself, basically. So how does that work to they pick up all your tabs or do they give you like a salary or I don't even know how the premium really? Yeah. I mean, you just kind of they tell you where you're going to go, and I can't really remember. But you know, you just. The ticket just kinda shows up, and then you show up at the airport, and some of the writers are there either on layover, or you know, in there any discount of show up and everyone gets on the plane, and you just show up, and then all the team managers are there. And they just kind of take over the trip. The team Olympics traveler, yeah. Yeah. Just part of the team, and all you know, all the team managers takeover, and you're just along for the ride after that. And. Yeah. Everything's taken care of. And and. Yeah. Really? Yeah. And then and then occasionally you I would go off on smaller trips to other places with writer like they would call and say, hey, we want you to be here with you know, these writers are gonna meet you there. And you know, we need these kind of shots, you know, and follow a, and I would go and do that. And that was that was just as fun was great just partying like crazy and. Or is everyone super dedicated and professional or it was both. Yeah. Sports sport. What am I talking? It was both. There was a whole spectrum of people on the team. There was people that didn't party, and there is people that partied and everything in between. So it was both you get out of that kind of just follow a or. Yeah. I got some commercial directing opportunities after that. You know, I directed a few music videos when I was in Chicago working for bands. So you know, friend of mine suggested that I go to LA. So I did and I got signed to a commercial production company and started directing some TV commercials and got into that whole business for a while. Yeah. Are you a believer of it? It is who you know, like people getting into gigs and stuff like that. Or it. Definitely can't hurt. Yeah. I think that relationships are a big part of it. Yes. Relationships and knowing how to sustain those relationships, which I turns out in very poor at. And I'm really I'm really bad at selling myself hearts. Hearts common artists artists.

00:20:01 - 00:25:13
Yeah. Like in the skateboard and snowboard worlds, you know, those worlds like it's very incestuous. And it's those worlds are very insular in very small, and everyone kind of knows each other. You know, so and they're very particular. And they're they don't like outsiders, you know, doing their work for them on. They're very like, you know, snowboarder own skater owned, you know, especially back in the nineties. You know, it was like jobs would just come. You know, you really didn't once you're in. You really didn't have to sell yourself. You know, you were just kind of in. But once I stepped out of that world that approach really didn't work or that non approach didn't work, but I had reps and stuff, and then, but I I was really particular about what I wanted to direct in and. And you know, very naive and very foolish, and I was very, yeah. A little cocky, but I just I was also like I was an artist, and I had this foolish idea that there was art to be found in advertising, and and I didn't wanna sell tacos and. I I was very choosy about the jobs. I took and they they just got tired of it. And after a while like nobody really wanted to like work me anymore. And so, you know, the jobs became fewer and fewer, and I became increasingly frustrated, and I openly, you know, sort of pushed myself out of the advertising industry, I think and I'm glad that I did. Because it just it just wasn't for me. It was kinda killing me inside. I'm just not I wasn't built for it. You know, I say I'm going to plug you for a second because your work is amazing and gorgeous in it is very unique. And how did you describe today? Like we were talking about how to good now. You're you were working on having to almost half lake what they call. The elevator pitch for your script. Where you have if someone. Say, hey, what kind of photographers are, you know? Right. Oh, I just came off the top my head. I think I said something like well instead of saying like, oh, I'm a travel for Taga for landscape photographer or commercial Taga for try to come up with something. A little more compelling like I take portrait's the disobey archetypes and John rea- something like that. You know? But his it really does his work is beautiful. It's gorgeous -ly execute. But you court Asli accent. Yeah. And you have a beautiful I and we're talking about that too. Can you describe what you how you see the back of things? You mean by your describing how you can see differently. Oh, yeah. I didn't. I didn't know why didn't know that. I do that. Well, I went to a neurologist I go to neurologist for a whole other reason of issues that I have I don't know if you know this but human beings have issues. I have I have a number of them. I feel awkward. Well, I, you know, I I it was it's been a lot. When I was it started. When I was this is going to begin like it's going to sound like it's long and boring. But also, it's it's. They had trouble diagnosis mucins. I was to they didn't know what was going on with me. I didn't speak for a very long time. And then when I finally did speak. I began speaking in full sentences. And I didn't walk for a very long time. And then one day, I just stood up and started walking. Member. I think host three. And. My dad took me to get swimming lessons, and I refuse to get after about three set three sessions, the swimming teacher told my parents, I wouldn't even get in the water and my dad, well, this'll be an insight into my. Child. Screaming at me to get in the water and wanted me to do swimming lessons. And so I just jumped in the pool and swam across the pool. Site ad, you know, issues in certain ways, I guess and so I'm bipolar one.

00:25:15 - 00:30:01
Diagnosed her what happened there. I got a fishery diagnosed in two thousand seven okay. Wow. It took that long. Yeah. Why had other diagnoses throughout like when I was in high school, and whatever I'm bipolar one with major depress treatment resistant, major depressive disorder. I've had electric convulsive therapy for the last eleven years. Wow. Which is gnarly when you describe. Yeah. Back to that. I've recently just tried to stop that treatment because it's affected my memory tremendously. And I've started a new medication literally, I think five or six days ago that is only on the market a couple years, and I'm still sort of adjusting to it. But so far so good, and hopefully, I won't have to have my brain shocked anymore. Without would be nice. Your own designed bite block for when they right because you've had to go so many times, you got your own custom designed one because they shock you. And you didn't say it's like a major seizure the po-point. Yeah. I mean, it's it's, you know, it's funny. Well, here's the thing. A lot of people think when you say they're like, what's that you say, it's called electric convulsive therapy. And they're like, oh, that's sounds confusing in the near lake if electroshock therapy, and they're like, oh my God. And then they they immediately think of one flew over the cookies nest, and it's not like that at all. It's still a high impact procedure. It's like. You know, they, but the, but they put you you have general anesthesia, they put you under just barely the further. You're under the worse of seizure. You have the Lesher under the better of a seizure. You can have says are inducing a seizure new. Yes. That's the whole point. They induce the seizure in your brain, which creates the chemical that you need that my brain does not create. So that's the whole purpose of the procedure. Now when the procedure happens, it's still it's funny because I asked my psychiatrist that does the procedure. I'm like, hey, I wanna film this and he's like Craig trust me, you know, on film. I was like, okay. You don't you deserve to know. That's what I told him. And I was like, oh, you know, whatever I didn't know what I would actually use it for. Pasta. Nothing doesn't scare me. I don't know. I have bitten out my front teeth twice. And I've woken up during the procedure twice, which is pleasant. Like, it doesn't look like anything. It feels like you're suffocating to death, really? 'cause they breed. They have to breathe for you. Because they give you a paralytic when they do the procedure. So when you have the seizure, you're not like thrashing around on the bed and stuff. So your entire bodies. Paralyzed. Are you intimated do they breathe through two? Yeah. Yeah. You. Choking. There's a tube Donut. Yeah. And they don't they're not breathing as fast as you wanna breeds feel like you're drowning basically. Didn't they discover and I could be wrong. But I think I retained, but the type of the discovered that for bipolar people that when you have. Like epileptic seizure? They found it in people that had epileptic seizures that also had bipolar disorder in those people with epilepsy. Seizures when they would shock for the epilepsy. That's when they discovered it helped by polar right that that's the whole purpose of UC tease. You're creating that same kind of seizure. They only discovered it from actual epileptics that happened to have by pool. Exactly. Right. So Craig was lucky enough to head right? Yeah. And I don't I'm making it sound like a night like this big nightmare. But but but e c t saved my life. I don't I'm not going. So I'm not I'm not going in there to to do this for no reason.

00:30:01 - 00:35:17
I mean, I it saved my life, and I'm very grateful for the procedure. Because I you know, I wouldn't be able to function without it can you describe that. Because when you told me, it's like, your brain gets so depleted of dopamine, isn't that you almost suicidal gets depleted of of a can't I can't remember the name of the. The actual the actual chemicals. Take Steph in the dark seato calling. No, I can't read can't remember just neurologist, no wonder balletic on no. Took a class ones. She designed posters. Ignorant graphic time for. We now can we go back because I'm not falling. I mean, I am falling. But I want a little bit of the back straight. So what how did you know, you were by polar? I mean, of course, they diagnosed she, but what led up to that for years? I was just kind of all over the map. And it just got worse. And it just got worse and worse and worse. I mean, I would have. Constant flare ups, and then outstep for days, and then I would just wouldn't be able to leave the house in a quick cycling by polar person, generally. And then bipolar basically, manic episodes, followed by super depressive episode is always going. Yeah. And and I have I have what the I normally have what they call mixed mixed mania, depression, which is very dangerous kind of depression. And I forget this statistics. I think it's one four one in five people usually die that have that. Yeah. Mixed mania, depression is. The Connor depression where you're both manic. So on the outside you can look up and moving around is not the kind of depression where you wanna stand bed all day. And you know, you you look the part of depression or manic and you're running around doing shit, but inside your dying. So people. So you're not giving away any of the visual cues of a depressed person -sarily said who that like I would know would have fallen into this category. Any celebrities the people? Yeah. Oh god. Hundred times. Oh, man. So so man, I don't know. So so many people probably have had it and are probably not alive because it I mean. I mean. Now. I mean, I'm almost not alive because of it as well. Dark. Do you don't feel pressure? Yeah. I'd rather not. I'd rather not go over that stuff and make your make your podcasts. More depressing that had already. Then we're getting into some really dark territory, you know. You know? But it wasn't pretty there's people. I know that have that have, you know, died from this disorder, and there's a lot of stigma around the disorders. You know, they're stigma around mental illness in general, and I'm a big advocate for speaking out about it. And what I mean by that is telling I'm comfortable talking about my own disorder because I think the only way that we get rid of this stigma is by the people who have it talking about it, and airing it out because it's okay to talk about I have cancer. It's okay. To talk about I have diabetes. It's okay to talk about normal every everything else. But this and and I'm normal person, you know, and what people don't realize is when you. Here. Like, oh, I have bipolar disorder. I'm schizophrenic or I miss her that they think like, oh, they become scared of you. And it's like, you know, what people don't realize is when I'm in the middle of my disorder. I guarantee you I'm way more scared than you're sure, you know, and the the plain and simple data is is that people with mental illness are far far far more likely and not only likely, but are the ones being attacked and assaulted and murdered than the ones doing the assaulting and attacking and murdering people see them as someone to attack.

00:35:18 - 00:40:03
Yeah. So, you know, I it's it's it's not. It just needs to be aired out. And I think that I'm not ashamed of who. I am. Do you feel that your ups and downs lead to your art? Is that part of who you are? Are you kind of proud of it in a way is would it has to be partly because it's who I am. I mean, I would have to say, yes, I don't know if it's direct. I don't think about it that much. I, you know, I don't try to connect it to my art. I don't make. I don't like to try to make a statement about my mental illness in my art, right? The label shirt, you know, I sure guess it's kinda connect, you know, because it's part of who I am. But I don't I don't try to infuse it into my art. You know, I used to work at a biotech really quick, and we did a research into people who had insomnia, and it was like they hated it. They hit it. But they kind of liked it because it was part of their identity in the identity with this group of people. Who stayed up all night? And that's when they got a lot of their artistic work done. So I can imagine it it kind of becomes part of you and your art in a way. But right. You don't necessarily want the the label of it. So or you know, where when ends in one starts because you were to you are. Yeah. Yeah. It is it is. And when I'm in when I'm in the middle of a bipolar trip. It's like, I don't know that I am you find you find out later, you know, sometimes I know I'm Hypo manic, which is BI polar to I still have Hypo manic episodes, and I'll tell you. The right Hypo manic episode is awesome. That's that's like that's like the great apart. That's the great part about Hypo manic so Hypo meaning a little less, then it's not, hyper. Yeah. Hi, Hypo, man, a lot of really successful people are are bipolar too. Because you know, you can stay up for like three lake. Oh, I've I've had runs where it's been like twelve days and Mike listening gotten like. Well, it's been like twelve days with maybe six hours of sleep total. But like and just got tons of stuff done. And I mean, tons of good stuff like not going not crazy stuff, but tons of good stuff. But then the downfall is is falling into a deep suicidal depression after that. Just the body or the brain like, I don't know much about this. So in for me, like, I don't know. I that's just me. I don't know it might be different for other people. I don't know. I don't know if it's the same for everybody your own. I always wonder because it felt like this even taking Adderall and stuff like that that for the amount of hyper. Or will the amount of episodes things that I have is you get a couple of good days of that crazy juice, and then there's equal amount of the exact pendulum swings from the high to the low. So if it was that good it's going to be that bad. Make sense does that makes. Now that makes sense. Yeah. It's it's I I understand that. Yeah. Is that sort of the case like it's hyper, hyper mania is the amount of depression that you would get twelve days of deep dark depression for your twelve days of super. Oh, no, no. I don't know if the days are equal. I don't think I don't think that no that's not necessarily how it works. From me. My my depression. My my cycles are very weird and random. And they can come on we in three seconds. Like, I can be having minute closet doing a. I can be. Legs. I can be having the greatest time on the total most normal time in the world and within three seconds. I am suicidally depressed ready to jump off bridge. And I have no idea when that is going to end said, there's no trigger nothing necessarily milk. It's yes. Just so you're in neurology field, do you? And you've always told me you're like, you're bringing just squirts less happy, serotonin, whatever.

00:40:03 - 00:45:01
So take anti-depressants just do it because you're chemicals. This is my very basic girl impression of it. Coming from a pseudoscientific background that. Yeah. I just feel like any organ some secrete the right amount of hormones, and in chemicals, and some don't so why not you know, Quillet the whole thing with with drugs that have been tested, and if it's not the right drug and saying I don't want to. Yeah. Tighter, upper down and find that exciting stew exact dosage that might get you where a quote, unquote, normal or typical brain will get you. So, you know, and I'm sure it's different with every diagnosis, and every you know, gland or area of the brain is involved. But yeah, that's kind of my perception. I agree. I have people ask me a lot. Actually, like, you know, because like I said, I speak out about it. So people a lot of people know my situation, and I take ten minutes every day. And I feel ask me a lot like we'll don't you care about taking meds. And I'm like, you don't ever wanna see me when I'm not taking those and it's a quality of life issue for me. Your. It's it's like it's like, look if you're if you have a depression issue that is making your life unmanageable or miserable and it's going on and on and on. And it's non circumstantial like, you're not grieving somebody or you. You didn't just get a divorce or had to put your best pet down or for whatever reason. And it's been going on for a long time. What is your version to taking some medication to to to fix that? I mean, you you you take aspirin for a headache? Right. Right. More one. Like, you do whatever for your cold. Whatever form it comes in. It's a quality of life issue for each individual person. It's like what do you want for yourself? I it's. For me. I my medication doesn't get me the whole way. So every six to eight weeks, I have to get my brain shocked to reset and my medication keeps me stable and GRA at six to eight weeks. That's when I start to drop off and my medication. You know starts to starts to not do the trick anymore. So that's when I have to go get reset. So and I've tried, you know, an over careful careful study we've tried going longer. We've tried you know, and it it just didn't work. So we know six to eight weeks was my reset time. So it's it's up to you. How you wanna manager disorder? You know, it's it's really up to you. To me, the general world, okay? Good though, and to really take it into your own hands and deal with it and do it on schedule in. Yeah. And if and if you don't do it, you know, that's fine. But know that it's up to you. It is up to you. And the mental health care system is broken. But it's up to you. And it's also good for you to know that there are so many compounds out there that can help you with your depression or bipolar or whatever disorder. You have I get so frustrated hearing hearing people say, oh, I got prescribed this the Santa precedent or entering Zaidi medication, but it gave me a weird side effect. So I quit taking it or I just didn't like it or whatever or it wasn't working. So I just quit taking it. And now, I don't like. Not on anything, and I'm still depressed or anxious or whatever. And it's like, no, that's not acceptable. Go back here psychiatrist and tell them that, you know, try something different try a combination of something. Maybe you weren't on the right amount. Maybe you on too much, you know, you can take that medication and then take another medication to counteract side effect. Don't just go off medication cold Turkey, some of these medications.

00:45:01 - 00:50:05
If you go from cold Turkey, it's dangerous that you know, I feel there's as outsiders. There's so much out there and so much help and there's so much help. And it's like you have to be your own best advocate in this broken system. And so many people that have disorders are undiagnosed. Go to get talk therapy, which is fine and good and everything. But. It's my belief that if you have a mental disorder a chemical mental disorder, you need to be seeing your psychiatrist as often as a normal person would see a therapist and seeing talk therapist secondary. Or seeing a psychiatrist that doubles as your talk therapist, which is what I do. Because if your psychiatrist doesn't know what's going on with you. And you're not checking in with that doctor on a regular basis, they're not gonna know how to treat you you need to be so specific with how your feeling what side effects, you're feeling to the nth degree like if you're feeling the littlest thing that different I need to change my medication. Roughly every two years. That's like my psycho with medication you need to change that up you need to go in and talk to them because having a mental disorder isn't like having a physical problem. You can't see a bone sticking out. You can't get your best or do a blood test or a cardio gram, or whatever it's up to you, even though their doctors and are professionals. They can't see inside your head. You are there barometer. What you tell them you need to be specific. I can't they save. I can't they do some kind of there's no brain tests that they can do to see levels assert turned of meter ankle. Sure. They sure they can do that. But. Sure, they can do that. But they can't measure your emotion. They can't measure your site. You know, they can't measure how you're feeling how you're navigating the world, which is your behaviors on how that dopamine and all that stuff is affecting you, and that's different for everyone. And you need to be very specific with them. You can't just go in and be like, I'm depressed. Give me something. Like, they're not gonna know what to do with that. No. It doesn't matter. How good the doctor? Is there going to prescribe you something and send you on your way? Sure. But. No, it's on it's on. It's on you be your own best advocate, and then to follow up, and to, you know, make it took me nine years to finally find the right cocktail. And I'm not saying that to be discouraging because I definitely had successes in there. But we'll years is intense. This is this is not an easy game. But I'm telling you if you want quality of life that I feel I can normal person. Finally, and I feel like I can navigate life, and I can be a normal person. And sweet. And you know, and you have one of the kindest hearts, by the way. Thank you is sad to not if that was masked by, you know, not being able to feel normal or may know few were episodes, and no all over the place like the sweetest gentle loving person. Yeah. I mean when I'm when I'm when I'm depressed or not on medication. I can be all over the place. I can be a huge asshole. I can be like psychotic. I can be like whatever it is. I mean, I'm glad you're you. And you find your right medication website to sit the Mike haywar at what a great message. I'm so glad I got to meet you this way to hear your story. I think it's so inspirational and hopefully can open people's minds to getting diagnosed getting treatment and talking about the treatment and moving forward to find exactly what people need to make it fit. And like you said quality life. That's what it's all about. So is about quality alive. Thanks for having me on. Sorry wasn't funnier. This is real this is so good. We love you. This is I'm happy. I heard your story as someone who doesn't know much about it. I feel very informed and. Can I I'm gonna plug you only because I'm going to what is where can we find your work his beautiful? You can I'm not going to send you my website because it's Pena rebuilt right now.

00:50:05 - 00:52:26
I'm seeing that a champion photo on. That's my Instagram thing champion photo, Instagram. Okay. Craig able champion. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having nice to meet you could signing off from the closet. That was super interesting. I really liked him. Good choices, friends weans. He's a good guy. And I'm glad he's so open about that. Because it might help them lighten someone else out there agreed. Yup. We will close this out. And we hope that everybody got something from it. And please do follow us on social media and follow Craig? We'll put all of his social on our episode description, but please do try to subscribe follow. And if you have it in your heart to bias, a coffee, we have a link on our web page that says support us in. It's a website called KO dash f I just three bucks in that helps go toward our Mike's in our hosting fees and all that good jazz so dog we would love a supportive coffee from you are right until next time. Let me weans by Levy to. Everybody. Test test testes testicles test them. Jump in. Dude. We're all good. Really having a resurgence. Staying at the grand Californian really having a resurgence. Craig?

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