mouse and weens

Hollywood vs housewife sisters fascinated by how people think.  a fun conversational podcast with heart.

Episode 40 - Should I Stay Or Should I Zo?

E40  Should I Stay or Should I Zo
(Note to reader: this is a straightup robo transcription which we are publishing but will come back soon to clean up. So it's Under Construction)
00:00:00 - 00:05:03
<music>? Said. Lease. Hey, how are you? We're and Wiens. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I so I got some feedback from a friend who said that we should always like introduce ourselves because we sound so much like and that oh, yeah. We should make it pretty clear who's talking. So I'm mouse, I'm the one down in San Diego with the kids, and I'm married and all that jazz, the older sister, and you wings, blowing dust off my twin Kover. Just kidding. No. What does that mean? Hey, guys. No, really. I'm a hot item ready for business business deals that is anybody would like to buy some books. I've got some extras I've been giving away a lot of books. Let's good. Is. There was gonna give away the one that you gave me called. I think I'd took it actually you didn't can I say, no, I need it back. I need a backup that was a bird item. Please that master of love. Yeah. I read it. Good. And I wanted you to read it, but I do. Did you get away? No almost did today. But someone rejected it so you're lucky. Thanks. That's gotta make things clearer with your sister. Folks, when they borrow things often, you never see this guy. I want to say it was Gabriel Garcia Lorca or Gabe bureau. Grease rouge. Wait. He's the guy the four agreements. Oh, I was gonna say Gabriel Garcia Marquez. But that's the other guy. I know Gabriel is he the guy on the Mozart. Anyway, this book, I did not resonate with. Because I don't know a lot of people love it chill. The mastery of love I've already mastered. It is the other part will your deepened you all of these things. No. You know, I'm more of a just go with it person. I don't study at too much, but I probably should because I could do some self analysis and figure out don't should on yourself. Mr. Really? Yeah. One of the steps. Okay. Yes. Anyway. So tell me about your feelings. Feelings I've many feelings. I don't know what am I feeling lately? Well, i'm. I don't know. We're back in the new year. Everybody's off to school. So it's kind of fun having a clean slate. Two thousand nineteen front of us. I'm doing some closet cleaning. It seems like everybody is into this. Marie condo thing. Have you heard about her? I hope I'm saying that right? She's this woman who has a series on Netflix or show or. Yeah. And it's all about this Japanese are of kinda clearing your your clutter. You're you know, how to declutter, and I guess you're supposed to go through your closet and take your items that you may not wear so much look at them really evaluate if they bring you joy or not if they don't bring joy, you tell that item. Thank you for the memories, you kind of conjure up. What what happy memories you have with that thing in the new folded up and put it in a bag and give it away. So it's funny. You say that because right now, I'm staring at about seven pine cones sitting on a shelf for some reason. I think brought him in from the nose. At Warner Brothers was a tree that dropped pine pinecone. I think I thought it was Christmas he'd been now to succeed bunch of. Yeah. And I d- pine guns. I have that too. I tend to hang onto stuff only because I finally have room for it my life. Now, we have lots of closets and space, so I can kind of. You know, find little corners for things. So I just stick 'em in there. And don't think about it. And now, I feel self conscious. Like, I'm supposed to clean out all my stuff. So I'm trying to clean out a little bit. But I also don't want to give all my stuff away. I don't know. I'm struggling a little bit. It's kind of weird. I well in I've been working out a ton. And so I'm actually getting back into my pre kid clothes. And I'm kinda glad that I have. Yeah. I'm glad I kept on my favorite jeans because I can fit back into now. So I'm like. But then some of the older stuff, you know, is out of style. So I'm giving that away. Anyway, I'm just of cleaning out closets. I mean, it feels good when you get rid of clutter it, obviously feels really good. So that I will say to I am, okay. Not receiving any more presence because I feel like I have a max capacity of stuff. So I wanna get rid of stuff, and because I don't know to do with it when I receive it.

00:05:04 - 00:10:03
I just have to figure out a place to put it, and then I get anxious and then. Yeah. Stuff in closet, got it. So what stuff did you get that? You don't like well just more things like clothes, and it's all lovely when someone gives you something. I just don't know where to put it, right? I meant max capacity in my place. And I maybe other people organize better would know to do with things. But I feel like things have you tried that concept of one thing in one thing. Out. Shirt giveaway a shirt like I could never buy more hangars or get more hangars. Yeah. I had to have my maximum hangers. And there wasn't a hanger. I had to let go that's a good idea. Better than you. You're also stuck with them me a bad gift giver? I'm so sorry gift talking about. No don't say, this sucks giving gifts. Do you? Really good. No. Yeah. In you're really good at it. You you have such thoughtful gifts, you, I think, you know, the person you must Google with like keywords that make sense and find things and like what did I get for you? Ask me about my podcast. You got me to t shirts say ask me them podcast, which is like all actually it's a shirt with a giant thing that has a microphone on. This has asked me about my pockets along. Because I think that you would actually wear it might right? I would insert situations with kind of a baris- too. But no, I am. I don't know. Would you wear it? Well, I don't tell anyone anything. But I'm secretive. Why are you proud of us? I talk to many people I think don't want to conjure up extra conversations. Well, you're the. Yeah. Good for you. But you're gonna promote this is your news solution. You're gonna promote yourself more. I've got it for you. Also, take a break, and I've gone into lockdown where I have not answering my phone all day and actually isolation mood. Really? That's okay. Maybe after being promotion mood. Yeah. It's it's kind of cool. Yeah. Wow. So is it like a break from electron IX just too much input? Yeah. I just don't wanna talk or I've discovered. Okay here. I will say into the Myers Briggs talk that you asked him and wanted to talk about, but yeah, it's been too much time on it. But it's a really good. You know, they break. Your Myers Briggs is a woman, I think her name was Myers or something back in the go. Boy, I didn't read into it. But is it to women? I think are looked can you know, more than I do. It's on Wickham pedia everybody can look it up. But they created this way of breaking people down to sixteen. Personalities, and I've done extensive stuff with my therapist who's really into it and took some training and we've been doing it, and it's very accurate so far about where you would fit in. So an IFP is I think it's oh boy see now should Mr. dog a about its into wait introvert introverted intuitive feeling and perception, I an introvert second. I'm intuitive third. I moved through the world feeling versus like, so just go round touching people. Rubbing up against things red dinner. And I started touching your face like a blind person. That's my feeling coming out of my of p I wonder if my kids are that just kidding. But they when they're little they both used to get down on their hands, and knees and lick doormats. Really? Yeah. It was crazy. That's we're not you weren't feeding minerals. That's licking the clay in the bond. It was crazy. There was one doormat at AT and T store here in Rancho Bernardo, and they both cut down on their hands and knees kind of at the same age too. They're both about to when it happened. It was orange and nubby, and it must have looked like candy or something stopped in their tracks down on her hands. Niessen licked the doormat like outdoor door met the big thing that when you walk in was crazy. Why any I don't know? It's just a weird jog that memory of the doormat lick feeling things. Yeah. Snozzberries? Tastes like snow. A head of a snows berry. Have you ever done anything weird like that? No. But my good friend. Curry loves dough like bread dough.

00:10:03 - 00:15:02
And she has a whole thing with bread dough. And she'll be making you know, whatever and she likes to bake and she'll stop and smell the dough. And kind of put it on her face a little bit. And then we looked up and there's this girl that does it. It's like called dough face this girl. Whoa pan. I think and. Yeah, she goes around putting donor face. It's it's a whole thing. It's like a real thing. So something maybe the yeast at our body often the smell. I mean, everybody says smell the baking bread creates a sense of peace is it because we were raised with a peaceful cooking smell that. Maybe good memories. Or is it just some cave thing? Yeah. Caveman thing I you know, I like my case. Man thing and women's that. And woman, you're such a feminist cave me on it. You know, I'm sick of everything is man. And then we're just supposed to like he is referred to constantly as God. And Jesus Jesus was a he I guess there's no doubt here. I don't know historically. But yeah, that's slight frame. She's, but you know, some people said Jesus was maybe mandolin whoopsie. Let's not get into that. But it makes sense. Anyway, the he she's very here, everyone and Lord think about how many times we see Lord de go around saying Lord. I do Jesus Lord. Good Lord almighty. Yeah. Okay. So weirdest term that we're still pulling in from what fourteen ninety two. The. It's weird. Right. Yeah. You're a Lord or lady. So Lord, we'll say Lord, but it was like wings. And. Yeah, there you go. Good lord. Like, what are we skews my French? But what are we talking about here? Crooked nickel news continue. So myers. Briggs is great guys. You can take free online tests and find out what personality type your sister. And I I took this test win, my friend Christine. She's a manager in HR up in the bay area. And she came down with it and was all excited about it. She just been trained in their starting to implement it. When they hire people because it helps them find personality types that they need for certain jobs. So does IRS who right from Frago rock all they do is pick up things and Bill. Exactly. And they have. No. Is there a little construction hats over there is right? The does is clearing up also in a wizard song. I think they're talking about this thing. Cute. There you go. Now. Everybody wants to be different. Oh, what was mine? I can't remember what I came up with. Thank you or of the type that the Nazis had. Oh. Yeah. I mean, not Jesus. Yeah. I am more of a I remember I like picked out the parts that I like kind of like a Chinese fortune cookie. You can relate to the things you like I like the I was a I n today. Sorry. She was poor. Caretake? Caretaker. Someone who thought it was really important to make a Cajun's for people right to your parties and traditions, very important you and you very simple. And is that true though, like did that resonate with you? Yeah. You know? I don't know. I think I'm a blend of social an introvert like I want I love staying home and do my own thing and having quiet time. But then I hit a certain point and need to go out. And, you know, do my thing. In fact, I was cleaning out my closet and was getting a bunch of bridal dresses in prom dresses together for a charity. This my friend Kerry does Cinderella's attic, and it's really cute. She collects prom dresses for local girls who may not be able to afford to go to the prom. So they can come to her and they will outfit these girls in full dresses jewelry, purses shoes. Yeah. Isn't that? Great speed is thing. Yeah. And. Have a big fund raiser November. And I just I really like. So I Finally I let go of, you know, going back to my closet cleaning, a bridesmaid dress that I had from my my friend. Allie was in her wedding. I was her bridesmaid. So I got rid of that bright pink dress. I loved it. But you know, it his had a time, and then I had a backup wedding dress lace up number the I bought I. But then I found my actual wedding dress. So I never ended up using it. So I give those two things with anyway, what's a big deal.

00:15:02 - 00:20:10
Where did you address? Oh, I don't know just random stores one of those the one I ended up wearing my mother-in-law found at a thrift shop for fifty dollars. Oh my gosh. And yeah, Taylor. I just went with it. I tried it on fit, and I put it on in front of mom. I tried on the two Justice and mom saw the second dress thrift store dress and said that's the one my daughter should get buried in. So that was the one I kind of went with just traditional cold said that you're very earthy and grounded and that way, and she had her wedding at our own calls house are in baba, Mary, and it was beautiful out in their backyard and Rancho Santa Fe, they have five acres in a pond, and it was really pretty gorgeous. But that's a very low maintenance wedding. And they were so nice to do that to everybody together. And oh, I miss them fans special. I know we need to get family. He stuff anymore. It's really there's a big, Ed. Gold reunion happening this summer gonna go. Let me guess Titian to go are you? Well, I would like to depends on you know, sports what else is going to go because then you can go and record it we one in. Plus, then or Wisconsin side, a lot of the eagles remained in Wisconsin. Yeah. And we were the split off California eagles think they'd call us. So but most the fan and watching the brewers who are they? The brewers and the Green Bay Packers and all the cheese west teams. It's they're so sweet. We love our family, and we all got we it's weddings and funerals. We only see them at the Big Eye. I thought about that. 'cause I miss everyone so much, and I maybe I could do like a fake wedding. But then they'll show up and then all speak. I'm marrying myself, and then everyone will be bummed out. But then they'll be in the same room. And so they can't be sad. They'll just go. Hey, well, we're here we have fun. Oh, good. Oh, you should do some salacious thing. Like, Mary your cousin or something something up. Well, I'm in grandma fake wedding. No could be fake wedding. You say, here's my fiance. And then you go just kidding. It's my cousin world together. It's a family real. I see all right or your cat. You could just really make it weird. Pretend like Christmas cards of cat. And then I figured that was too close to depressing. No, it's not. I'm really not that lonely everyone. I just want to say because. No, I'm actually happy. Oh that was my going back to introvert extrovert. So I went through my dresses, and I saw tons of my little black dresses that have so many cute little dresses to wear out. And I realize I need to I need to get out more. And you go out on the town and take him for spin good, dancing, and all let's do that. Can I do that with you because I got a yacht? Dusk gathering trouser yourself. All right. Let's gather dust trousers and go, okay. Let's keep seeing events in LA too. Now we're talking to clubs. Yeah. So let's go really do some whooping. All right. I'm in can I bring some girlfriends to you read if yes crew, let's do it. We will mix them with my my friends, and we'll have a real hot toddy of night. I love it. Let's do it. Okay. Oh, I have an idea. Let's take a quick break. And we'll hear from our friends in this podcast pie. I make pro and I'm Steph, I'm with as podcast g let coach news reviews and discussion you deeply invested in on me hammer in Timothy shadow mates. Friendship d constantly find yourself debating, which Hollywood Chris is best. Have you know, sleep the Hora is Ben Affleck's back testing, the Pocock. Focused every few weeks. We get together to talk about what we're enjoying looking forward. To in the world of TV film music Amel. You can find on chains. Soundcloud, Stitcher by setting assess point cost, and you can also find over on Twitter or on Instagram at the fest. Bush this into an episode think. I m. All right, everyone, take listen giddy. So weans tell me about your experience with kids in music. I'm having an issue with waiting. I know what that was. Tell me. All right, go back. Conjure back memories of being child, and your thoughts and feelings about music, and then music lessons, if you were to be made to take music lessons, or it could be anything if you were made to go to girl scouts, or you were made to go to you know, soccer.

00:20:11 - 00:25:04
Yeah. Camp or something. What are you feeling? I'm struggling with this with my kids. So I remember Mr. Mehan and third grade, and I really wanted to play saxophone because his cute boy was playing saxophone news. Danny, danny. I can't remember his other name buddy were yellow check it and. And Danny loving tenure. Everything that I did of my life. He really knows how to play left me tender, them's the facts. And so I learned I immediately all because of a boy went and said, I wanna play checks full. I was wanted to be like the cool boys secretly thought. They were cute. So it was going to work my way into their heart through their instrument. That's also. Oh, my. Mr anyway. So so I worked. So I played the rusty saxophone later on that, even holy please arrested in grade. Well, what are you thinking? I really did have rusty sex. Mine was given to me by my godmother d that's true. It was rusty. But I still played it and learned love me tender and also known new is he? Sign. Just call you say. Yeah. Anyway, if I were forced to I don't know that part. I don't remember. But I just remember, you know, the spark dies when the guy moves on for me. If you were forced to play. I don't know, you know, in retrospect as adults, I guess, we would always say we should force the kids because they don't know any better. But then some people I know resent their parents still for forcing today. Well, that's my question. So we are going on three years with piano, and I actually interviewed our piano teacher because I was struggling with this and got his insight. So we'll pop that audio into as well as I posted this picture this question on Facebook Shaw, and all my friends, wait in just kind of what do you do when your kid is pushing back? So we've done piano for three years and this dog sorry. I have to let the dog out. He's inlets, right. Because my next question was what do you do when your cat pushes back? But will do that one later? But okay, let's hear the interview. Okay. Here we go. This is so Shah. So here I am today. With my pal or teacher of music so shy. Hello. What two days? So so comes in how do they find you originally? I think through Gabby Gabby. Dow she connects everybody so. Gosh when was that three years ago? Right. Has been it's been it's been three maybe three. Yeah. While how old is Charlotte. That's always my Charlotte was five. Okay. So she wasn't taking lessons. Right. Three years. Okay. So yeah. So we met through Gabby and he came over and started teaching my oldest. And then Elliott or did I have both of them. Both of them started. Together, Elliott Toby? Yeah. So they've been on piano, the whole time, and I think we dabbled with guitar little very well. But then stuck with piano, and here we are at three years later. So yeah. But we've had so much fun. And you've got this great attitude, and you're cool and your hip. You know, you let the kids picks. But but tell us about your background ONA hear your background. So. How I started playing playing guitar in high school senior in the summer and pick it up because I wanted to learn songs that heard the radio that loves like actually peppers and Jack Johnson and whatnot incubus, and it's going get one of my friends star teach me lessons, he was going to school music, and he taught me some lessons, and I was really into thirty aspect of it. So I just kind of fall through and when school after that and then started playing jazz in school and whatnot and suck with it and playing regularly ever since. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. I know. And so is he plays different gigs around town with a lot of different musicians.

00:25:05 - 00:30:04
And kind of what would you say your gigs are mostly like, what is the feel? I play with this one funk group that pretty common these as called Dante didn't and check them out and we play at Venice in important moments venues. And that's kind of more like pop top forty tunes from the seventies and eighties and. Of course, the jazz standard gigs playing cocktails which is always fun to. Yeah. So that's where seen as more cocktail lounge or patio fireside, dining type places and San Diego, which is great and. Yeah. Yeah. So so toss like all right. So you were kid didn't pick this up until a senior in high school. So what's your background before that with music or did you love music as a kid? I I started off listening to rap. I was five years old. My scissor show, snoop Dogg. I've been five or six years old. I had that whole thing memorize, and there's a video of you. And I'm like seven doing lip synching of Dr dre slapped me rights and other employees. I did now. But it's always Indonesia. I mean, no matter what is always a passion. Okay. So so, and then did you go to your parents and say, this is what I wanna do or feel about it? It was more that I was working at the time. So I just bought a guitar. So it was all different. I didn't my parents if I wanted to they couldn't really afford lessons in our situation back then so I didn't have an opportunity, but I did it on my own kind of thing. Great. Well, that was weans to our parents were. Yeah, not a lot. So we had to choose activities wisely, and it was pretty much, you know, girl scouts and that was it today. I play by fifteen hundred counts million to it. But I want to play an instrument at that point. But yeah, those all those really an option. There's Qatar piano available integrates, right? So that's how I got into music to as through school band, which is just how my my kids got into it as well in probably most of your students now. Well, I feel like a lot of them just one instrument and a lot of students before being starts a lot of fourth it through aiders and two. And then, of course, there are a lot due being and then wanted to tars to right, piano. I think it's pretty standard band starts in fifth grade and California. Although when I was going to school starting third grade so cutbacks anyway. Yeah. So with the kids not being forced into it wanting to music, so that's my whole topic is what does apparent do when new child is pushing back on active duty that you really want for them in our case music and my kids were excited about it. I got into it. I think I don't know, you know, the personalities so I think Toby might be a little more into music and general would you say and than Elliott is a bit more reserved or I don't know. What's your take on on case? Yeah. I think they both have their moments like Elia, I agree. But then at some points to he was really excited. Learn fertile, okay. Toby on the other hand, he seems like. Just making the like he's like really practice much during these piano. I'm gonna learn the office seem song family guy, something he likes which I think is great great. And I think in some way to park now. So I think they liked that aspect can pick songs, and they know, but it's just with any everyone every even this practice is the hard part. I know what people don't want to learn him songs fun. But like doing the work to get it down is where. Right. Right. Yeah. So that's what we're dealing with right now we had excitement in the beginning. And then they would show up their their songs to their friends, and it showed up to the family. And then they started pulling back and going wall, you know, boy when is this can be done. And I wish it was this love of it. You know, this one because I've seen at your recitals. So you'll do every six months or so recital, and some of his other students are just I mean, you out of your seat good. But then they have that passion, and they practice those apprise my best ones who go home who practice on their own. And I'll come to us in learning peon just for fun. Great things like that or learning some Qataris fun. Those are the kids that that's the goal. And every every every teacher in parent how this angle they both wanted kids to be voting.

00:30:04 - 00:35:00
Packs on their own without any kind of reinforcement or or force. And so it's it's it's finding balance of not forcing your kids and having them find that Hashian race ways. Right. So what do I do? What do you do? There's no answer to this. There's no specific answer. But of this way. If you could school if you tell your kids, like, hey, I know you don't want to who anymore. So you're not going to go anymore. What did they think? You love me care about me. No, I don't know. I think like in a whim they'd be like no school. You know, how yet right? They like way. I don't have to go to school or no more homework. Right. It's the worst part of it. So so why is it that like school is generally like kind of this force, right, generally, forcing like most kids don't say, hey, I want to go into school. Can I go, right? It's it's something that we just put them into and lessons can kind of be the same thing. Some kids are first doom some arts. I think I think the top part is forcing Paktis that's where it's feels a chore. I think I think most kids take lessons think of it kind of schooling in Mike, then where yet more. Yeah. And I think I've seen kit. I've seen kids. I've since where the parents would be like have a chalkboard. Okay. Task for the day. You know, you have thirty minutes of the peon or guitar to do every day. And whatever happens they always end up like Quing lessons after it's just if chore, so I think it's a balance of keeping like wanting them to stick with music because you know, everyone how many Dulcie you that. I wish other PM. I wish just about everyone. Yeah. I did a little Facebook query with my friends, and there are just a handful that said they were glad their parents gave them the choice to quit and that they never looked back. But the majority said, you know, I'm glad they made me or I wish they had made me. So and that's what I keep timing. Kids. Look, I'm giving you a gift you don't see it. Now. You don't think it's a good thing now. But trust me when you adult you're going to be glad I did. But I think. I think every every situations to can't say for preserving what to do in your situation because you read the ninety and you know, I think being on that get something out of it they improve and they are approving the reading that new book, which is higher level signing out of it pretty well. So that's that's a positive of sorting songs. So it's just when they don't practice. They slow progress. Right. Practicing makes lessons learnt wastewater. Right. As you progress with her, and you can move onto the next song or whatever it's Blais. I don't know. Why that but they just don't. Yeah. But you know, just doesn't click this, and this it's not just hoping every pretty much everyone. Okay. Well, good to not alone. I feel like a big failure that I haven't like giving them the right magic dangling carrot to get them to do this. But so you would say in general to parents make it like know your kid know, how to motivate them make let it be fun and cool. Let them choose this song. Any other specific tips like? I don't know five minutes a day. Should I like kind of force a small amount of time? And then get them into it, more or. It's possible that might help. But I think it's really where he force into like an half an hour as that feels like too much too much. I think generational too. Yeah. I think led to full softball. But I think like growing up like you're saying we'd watch MTV kids. Well, my parents let me want to all their it just came out when I was like, well, so, but even when you're nice litter MTV's out you wanted to watch music videos, and you see people instruments on screen, and it was cool. And now, I don't know up sound like an old man like music, these days, the popular music is in generally, more electric bass. The biggest artist is probably Drake. Okay. He doesn't write his and produce he doesn't play instruments. So it's really like a I don't know. Low-grade product musically. Speaking race. What's showdown anyone? Right. Right. So wait over-produced, and I'll computers idiom kind of stuff or I think to like.

00:35:01 - 00:40:00
You you probably grew up albums, right? Yeah. Yeah. Like, you knew Coplex Albany back in the old days co plants. Why I grew up listening to write all the good the door. I remember getting really into the Beatles. School the doors and all the old stuff but upland so when through all sorts of phases. But right. Yeah. So often I'll ask go to first lesson as a kid he was into in like, oh, I don't know. Like oh. Shake it off of I don't even know like common. They don't know anything nothing. It's just everything stream. I guess right. And I noticed like Byerly students like they tend to like listen. And so I think I think like over my generation in yours implore, basically driven in general like I think we could find more passion and listening to CD with headphones on and may, and I feel like kids these these do that as much right? So I think I think part of your experiencing is something that want to be with three because of the generation to and not just some not nothing your control hot motivation interesting. So it's almost like we would sit down listen to Adam. It'd be a whole story front to back and they're getting little snippets once I'm gonna time on Spotify. Wherever and maybe it's this whole attention deficit like thing. Right. Everybody wants a quick fix and click. Yeah. Interesting sitting down and learning the same song over and over probably feeds into that. Yeah. Nuance of wanting to move onto the next thing. Yeah, they probably see learning this on listen to poor bits taking vocal weeks on Randy's reported. The lies is taking so long grades. That's a really good point. Okay. So a lot of parents with this, but it's not really necessarily as long your fault and nothing weakest surly to fix it. What do I do well instrument? Any instrument with you? Here's the trick. Right. I know it is so tough. And I do want this to become like a second language to them. Because I love the fact that I played doubled fluid, but I played from third grade to eighth grade, and your brain is nice, plastic when you're young and that just gets into your your your system, you just know Ican read music, and that's that. And I can still pick up a flute and do most of the fingerings. And so I love the can go to somebody else's church in their hymn book and be able to kind of see a song and know, the general sound that it's supposed to make and I want to give that to them. But. Yeah. I'm still struggling in my squelching them by forcing them to do it when they could be spending their extra time doing something else. Wonderful and great, but then in truth and probably just video games thing. I've had a I've had. Parents have strums we know like our kid is taking dance like do. They have no time to take and they kinda bounced up. Okay. We'll we'll do Qatar. Get one us. So yeah, it depends on what if there's something something else then. Yeah. Could be for the better because they might find passionate that. But if it's just is wanna quit this and play mine after. Yeah. Never then rain is not helping them. Now. I know unless they wanna be idiom musician in which case, they're like, I'm learning the computer. No. Well, okay. So what if they want to switch what if I offered switching to ATar because I feel like I've I've read studies to doing music with two hands is good for both sides of the brain. Or something about staving off Alzheimer's and how good it is for you. So if a two handed instrument, I guess instruments are to him. But I don't know what's your feeling on switching from piano guitar, as basic, I think, I think I think it's a good idea, especially interested in like, ABBIE was more interesting. Tar right? And she's. Sighted about it. And that's right and. What else can happen with that? But. I think these depends like sometimes it ends on what they envisioned the cooler right or whatnot keeping their interests keeping him into and. Yeah. I think I saw tar cool thing. School. I saw friends playing. Playing. They're playing incubus driving up, and what you played that a love that solve like you an average friend of mine can play the song. I wanna wanna get into that. Yeah. That's kind of what motivated me is like seeing it and then and then puberty plays into this whole cool. Guitar singing news.

00:40:00 - 00:45:03
I think he's a software high school and he's pretty good kid. I think he's using mental skills are are having. Yeah. No. I totally agree. And I think that's kinda win it became cool to learn music and listen to the albums, and we had a music theory class in high school, and Mr. Qatar was our teacher, we would do beetle Fridays. And and all the cool kids are in there. And then the guys in the band shirt. So that all plays into and I keep trying until the boys. Listen, I'm doing you a favor. Learn the piano learning guitar that they don't see they're not there yet. They wanna see now. That's the thing. But that's the thing is if I wouldn't have seen it either. But if I had let's say what it Toby you Elliott, sir, Charlotte shirt about five. Yeah. I'm guess eleven years playing. That's one thing. I envy about all my students that get to play piano guitar is that if I was in their position on my right? Yeah. Definitely love that. So there you go. Yeah. That's my feel to gosh. Guys. I'm giving you gifts. This is a wonderful thing. Take advantage of it. But it's hard to push someone same with like, you know, I'm sure this could be piloted into sports forcing kids to play soccer because you love soccer, and they all soccer. So Wendy, let them quit. When do you have them make that commitment? And do we make a contract you have to try it for this amount of time? And if you don't like, then, you know, and a lot of parents were saying that with music, maybe let them pick something else that they love musically or switch once they hit eighteen they can stop once they graduate high school. They can stop, you know, so and we're so close I mean Tokyo's just got four more years till he's done with high school some I just see through just thirty minutes of week. Yes. Yes. Not houston. Not houston. Yeah. You get so much out of it. Like, he's there's no regret like that. You can play guy to for strength. Right. There's no way would rent that. Right. So I think so. Yeah. And then having. The the goal of being able to read a piece of music to we've tried that. We said, look if if you can if I can put any piece of sheet music in front of you, and you can read it, then you've graduated than nuclear quit. There's a father because I could put very. Piece of music in front of professional like this. And like, no, I can't go and working. There's something very their levels of pieces. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I guess I shouldn't say any piece of music, but generally speaking, I mean, should that be a goal to that the kitchen? It can kind of. Piano companies who are the senators around and the even they sometimes sometimes they're getting some parts of like do their own fake way through it because it's too hard. As I to certain section. Okay. So how do my kid's fair in the reading department wall? They're getting better make them read like picking seven-week. Okay. I don't. I don't. So what do you do keep your eyes appear? Don't look at your hands kind of thing or you could just tell the reading by the way that glance what's going on reading because not only does position getting. But then otherwise and actually reading music thing where you're actually reading head. So in your case too. Okay. So they they might be they might have like read to measures or something. And there have played it yet. And they're making sure that they can look emission thought in the right? So if they're not looking. If they are looking at the hands of that whole time then. Okay. Right. Okay. So they're getting there slowly. Practice. Yeah. But that's one thing that you can't really control. I mean, and you're not the kind of teacher that makes them turn into practice slip or test them or I candy. I've had so many clients. Right down my kids over we can do it. Then I. Did you know? Yeah, we're not with the parents are enforcing right? We're down right now. It's me. I'm I'm making my feet right now because he did that in the beginning. And I never forced it. Well, I guess I was coming from that place. If I don't want it to become ensure, right? So I was kind of with your philosophy of like, I want to be fun. And I'm hoping those down and do it. And they do when we have parties they want to show their friends or Keisha when they're stalling because they don't want wanna go to bed. They'll sit down on the piano. So of course, I let them. Yeah. So it's a toughie. But I'm hoping it'll just click for them and awesome.

00:45:03 - 00:50:02
The love it and want to do it. And I don't know I'm leaning toward just keeping him going until the end of high school just making it a thing. Maybe they can switch between piano guitar, but would even become professional. It doesn't get anything out of it. Right. It's a little learning. Good Muslim remembers Asian. Border skills from being piano guitar, so yeah, I mean like you said, it's learning music Alzheimer's as she is in fact, and it's good for musicians better on tests. Jimmy, speaking. Okay. Nice. What else was I going to say that John? Thought. But it's gonna know clearly I need more music. No, I was going to send something about going through high school and forget it. I can't remember anyway. Well, do you have a coming gigs? He would like to plug where would you like to send letters actually don't have any books out of town and handle that when I was gone. Mini honey. That's right. So I just I've been my life. He's been working and take care of the kid. Yes. This is so cute guy says, oh, you know, I've known you. Well, how old are you? Now, if you to thirty two I've known him since his twenties twenty eight twenty nine and he recently got married and went on a little honeymoon. And they're going to do another big celebration next year sometime and moved in gotta play Scott kitty. So it's cute. Yeah. Big life changes. Congratulations. Fuss them, and we do love you. You're a great music teacher. I'm sorry. My kids aren't more inspired. I'm trying I don't know thinking about some of the other. How good they're they're what I expect. Yeah. I mean, I love him. No matter. What of course, I'm not coming down. But just as a parent you wanna give their best situation. So on the I've never minded from a few Elliott. Twit. He had to test the waters and then Charlotte. She really does love music. Good. Good. This put those long baby fingers to use. When she first came out like oh Pino fingers. All right. Well, can people? Visit your website ZOA Shadeh calms E O H H be in calendar on there with events in the future. And you could follow the Instagram. Zo Shah GT are right at than Facebook zoysia on their abbey. And are you looking for new students? Do you want more still? Still neck, but I will try to take some. Yeah. I'll try and if I can do I will. Yeah. Yeah. He's in our area lake Rancho Bernardo powei. Usually how far you go. This is why we love to he'll come to your house if you have the prep requirement because my problem is taking kids to different places waiting in the waiting room that was no fun. So just argued how way for us. Dull, sir. It's not so this little area. And we just love it, and you teach piano guitar any other instruments, or okay, we Okla is at ukulele, technically. It's. All these years. Really? But everybody says you wrong. Wow. We're learning things. Interesting. Okay. Cool. Well, thank you so much on our podcast, and we'll see you on Wednesday. So what do you think? I can you tell how I'm leaning. Well, yeah. You want to push them because we didn't get pushed into very piano. Right. I feel like we're so close to the end of high school that I kind of liked that idea of sticking it through till high school, and then they can kind of make their decision or letting him switch to Qatar. What do you think? I don't know. I mean, I don't know. What do you think? What I think let's hear what my friends think I pulled everybody on Facebook in print printed out the whole discussion. It's like four pages. But everyone had a lot of thoughts. And you know, what it was right down the middle of may come stay in it or let them make their own decision. So didn't give me a ton of insight. But there are a few cool takeaways a lot of people like, you know, pick out two opposing thoughts.

00:50:03 - 00:55:01
Okay. And just see. One of them said those at from can you say, yes, I will mention some names here. This is from Mike for Lonzo. And he is an avid local boy scout cub scout leader in independence ball. He's got two boys that are into baseball. And he said he bailed on music early in life, and he was in favor of sports. He bailed on music favor of sports, and he's never regretted it. So there's that let's see another one Ron bloom. Let's see he was forced to learn piano for two years when he was young and he didn't like being forced, and he was also forced into church choir. And he hated it. So guess what? Now, he's an angel of say. But his point was then he switched to sax in band, and then and then at twenty one to piano or took up guitar loves it and still plays. So part of me feels like panel just gives that fundamental. You know, an almost like the the feeling like, yeah, I can do this and then move on into something else. So I mean later in life when you look at the Pierre knows very good with that is the kind of rooted grounding thing it's keen C, which is most other stuff. And once you have that I think you're easier to transition on guitar from not mistaken because of the octaves, and then it also helps you to play. Why am I single Bongo drums? All right anyway. Go ahead. Yes. What do you think you're upset? Okay. So a couple more. So those are the kind of let the kids choose this is why it's bad kind of thing. But then there are a couple of positives. So we have our what is she our second. Cousin? Elaine Schmidt, aka beep, her nickname was beep. Beep is actually musician and what is her official title? You know, her a little bit better than I do. She is an art critic for the Washington or the Milwaukee journal, okay pinned she's also doing a lot of editing of music publishing books. So she, you know, things that your kids might have she's probably gone through and help to edit right contribute to write. And I'm saying this in a very simplified week. She does a lot of other stuff to opera trained anyway. Good. No, that's interesting, and she's written fiction and things like that. But she says that this is a good time that they could maybe switch to improvisation. So they've done some training and piano. But if they're starting to get bored. Try to switch to improv where they can kind of take it and work with it the way they want to in that can be a good segue into saxophone too since Toby place axe, and that's very. Probably improvisational, whatever. So there's that point. And then our friend Andrew salmon who we talked about in the crush episode. He's a musician lead singer. And he says make them stay with piano because you never know that might end up being their safe place someday. And like their therapy in a way that they can communicate. So he wishes that he had had that in found that earlier, so well, your brains like a sponge, which you mentioned and right. I think now is time because if you have it somewhere in your DNA somewhere near subconsciously brain than it'll be much easier to pull out later, right? Or just always cool. I think it's good to party tricks. You can impress people. Right. That's my shallow ego. Talking. Like kind of quoit, and there's a drum set at a party. And you're like, yeah. I play little you get up on a pop pop, and he's totally Newell pert it and you playing the drums at two spin around and some lasers to Cairo techniques you start shooting fire. And then you dislike many walk back down. And just go sip. Your murky, wouldn't it be great? That's always my fantasy. They can't I can of pipe. Buddha. Isn't that great? I would love to be at that party. And then I whispered left. That's my sister. So pretty that'd be great. See us. I love it. Or like Bobby Brady Brady bunch episode? Okay. Go ahead. Sorry. No. No, no, totally got the same point as Danna though. So she wrote that this is the time to persevere in learn as most people never get another chance, and she kind of sites the things that she did.

00:55:01 - 00:58:26
And you know, when you're young you can juggle a lot of things, and then kind of have that background to choose from later. So yeah, I couldn't juggle anything. Remember trying to juggle. I can juggle handkerchiefs that move real slowly that's about it. That's a good skill. Actually. It's probably good way to start with hand going and there's a chips Dave who played baseball. And that was part of their training. They had to learn how to juggle as baseball players like literally. Yeah. And it's super well. The first time I saw job. It was like a party trick on my God love for say. So awesome. He picked up three tangerines juggled knows like. He's the Len for me. Right. And then get this get this about I'd say eight years in term original kid's the whole thing. I thought I knew everything about him. We'd been together since nineteen ninety four. He makes up yoyo and proceeds to fricken. Yo yo the shit out of that yoyo. He did tricks. He walked the dog. He did the sleeping baby round the world. I don't know they have names, but he did them all and I showed him good time that night, it was turned on because I had no idea it could do that. And the first time I heard him speak. Hebrew. I didn't know he could speak Hebrew or read it and it was these nerd love right there. So can't wait a second. All you have to do is have secret talents that you hold for at least eight years and don't tell anyone pull him out in a great sex. I mean, you really know really. I mean, why not? Have some secret kerchiefs in your back pocket? Right. Right. He. Okay. Well, then there you go. This is why I'm keeping my kids in music. So that they can get laid. That's really disgusting. I know right. Gross. Getting no it helps with the seven year issue. I heard there's a fourteen year each maybe twenty one year is just pull them out. On the seven years the way. No, that's nice. No. How does it feel to be invincible? Gee, NF. So whatever. There. She goes playing this out. It's wins. We need. Do you have anything like to plug or talk about no makeup some lyrics ready? Here we go. No. Find everyone to the band. Go four five. Goodbye. Thanks. Soon. All right, everybody. Good luck with your decisions with your kiddos and call us right us, do all those things if you have advice or stories, and please follow all of our social media. We are at all the places at mouse, and weans you gotta spell it all out anything else m s e w. Here we go one word. The word is and it's not an amber sand. It's worded ever seen. Okay. Bye. A bit. There's not a lot of songs with the word an percent in. I'm just saying just right by everybody

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