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mouse and weens

part comedy, part life. A podcast.

Episode 38 - Fruity Flamenco

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After some very professional vocal warm ups, we catch up with each other. It is a couple days before the holiday break and Weens is very tired because of her work on the hit show, The Rookie. Her hours have shifted to always wake up during the morning hours, especially during prep time. She has been waking up at 3am and wonders if it’s an old age thing. She also wonders if old people say things like “it’s curtains” like in an old-timey theater. Mouse has some old time curtains for you, some wrinkly pinks! Mouse wakes up at 4am and thinks it’s because she’s excited that she has the quiet house all to herself before her kids head off to school on the bus.

But unlike all of this old lady talk, Mouse talks about her wild party - her plaid party - she hosted this weekend with all her friends and their kids. The parents got loose with the egg nog and in the middle of it all, Mouse gave away her kids’ drum set and didn’t remember doing it! It is to be a Christmas gift for her friend’s son, much to Weens’ chagrin who loves to play them when she comes over. Mouse is eager to hand them off though because she would love a new drummer boy to have them, and explains the drums are too loud for her open-concept house because she is tired of the “rat-a-tat-tat”. Weens teases her old-timey words, which sends us into another retro fit, wondering about short ties and high pants of yesteryear. Hipsters are trying to bring it back, and girls are too now, a la Diane Keaton in Annie Hall.

Weens worries about her cat being bored. She explains that when she first gets home, her cat gets “pumped up”. Mouse imagines her cat fist pumping like Pauly D from Jersey Shore. Weens explains how she throws pieces of chicken to her and she lays out to catch them, much like the 49ers football from the 80’s. We segue to the spitter Billy Martin of the 80’s Oakland A’s baseball, and his mustache reminds Weens of the crushable baddie Schroeder of One Day At A Time. He was one of those characters cast to play someone in his 20’s who was actually about 65. They tried to do the ol Fonzerelli on him, like the Fonz who was supposed to be 15 but was really 45. He was just a wrinkled Winkle running around in a tiny jersey!

Speaking of Henry Winkler, Penny Marshall of Laverne & Shirley died. She was an idol of ours growing up. Weens declares that Mouse is Shirley Feeny and Weens is much more like Laverne. This is similar to another TV couple, The Odd Couple Oscar and Felix. Weens is Oscar and Mouse is Felix. It might also be the blonde-brunette difference, like TV’s CHiPs where Weens got to be cute John and Mouse was Ponch. Or the Mandrell Sisters, where Weens got to be Barbara and Mouse had to be the brown one. She was always the brown one! But Penny Marshall had an admirable career, directing Big, A League of Their Own, and Awakenings. Check our Instagram page where we posted a picture of us dressed up like Laverne & Shirley for a work bowling event. At this same biotech job, we also dressed up like couples Sonny & Cher and Dolly & Kenny for karaoke duets. Write in with more fun couple ideas and maybe we’ll reprise our dressing up roles! mouseandweens@gmail.com

We get into dream talk and Weens talks about her Adam Sandler experiences. She has always loved Adam Sandler as her fun New York boy. She has had a secret not-so-secret crush on him because he is a funny, good, nice dad-type of guy. She got to meet him a few times too. When her friend was a tour manager for Green Day, she got to know the band and they would all hang out in the El Sobrante area of Northern California. She went to New York with them when Green Day was on Saturday Night Live in 1994, so saw Adam Sandler a lot during the rehearsal. Weens was in her punk rock phase and had a nose ring, wore dresses with combat boots, and would drink more. So this night after drinking, she followed Adam around trying to strike up a conversation. Each time he would see her coming, he would grab his guitar and disappear to another room to practice. It turns out that night, December 3, 1994, was the same night on SNL that he debuted The Chanukah Song on Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald! Weens ended up hanging out with Norm and said he was incredibly nice.

Then years later, Weens entered a contest through MTV and won a trip to the Happy Madison studios on the Sony lot. They had a barbeque, played basketball, and Weens was able to flirt with him again. At one point, she caught Adam and his buddy who is in a lot of his movies, Allen Covert, talking about her in a wink-nudge kind of way. It was a bit of flirty validation! He signed her guitar and a CD for her calling her a goddess, tall and hot! He was cute, and shy and giggly when they took pictures together too. Then years later she worked on the movie Just Go With It with Jennifer Aniston and he said hi and seemed like her recognized her, but didn’t know from where. She was too shy and nervous to jog his memory though, so just remained a coworker and never said anything.

So Weens has dreams about Adam Sandler at times when she seems steps closer to finding a partner. He is the love barometer for her and seems to pop up when she is progressing in her steps in a relationship. He is her crystal ball of dating. He is her little Jewish hamentashen fortune cookie of love! He is her Sandlerometer, salometer, sexometer! During her dream a year ago, he invited her upstairs and she said no, she needed to be courted first. This was a step forward in real life. And her recent dream had her staring into Adam’s eyes and telling him she loved him, possibly a sign of deep things to come in her next phase in relationships! Mouse thinks this is a manifestation of her subconscious and levels of understanding in her ideal relationship. Or this whole thing could just be BS! Mouse doesn’t dream about Chris Martin anymore. She is so tired she just hits the pillow. When Weens hits the pillow, it sounds a lot like a toot. ADAM, PLEASE CALL WEENS FOR A DATE AT (858) 206-9971

Weens received a saucy poem from her Flamenco friend and interviews him about it! We get into the reading of it after Weens invited him over, partly to read it and partly so her visiting friend Rachel could see him. Rachel is a friend who retired early and has been riding her bike for two years across the country, staying with random people along the way. Flamenco gave her a backrub and serenaded her last time she was in town, so clearly she wanted to see him again! This 23-year old has been floating around her scene for a year and Weens thinks he has several older women in his circle to which he sends fruit poems.

Flamenco recites the poem and is sweetly embarrassed and nervous reading it to Weens. He wouldn’t make eye contact and feels under pressure knowing he is being recording and that it will be broadcast. But he laughs about it and explains that they are personal, meaningful poems. Once he writes it and sends it, he doesn’t look back. He likes the idea of flowers and fruit as femininity, genitalia, sensuality, and sexuality. He also likes using fruit as a metaphor for a pure form of sustenance because a person can pick a piece of fruit and the plant will keep producing, versus using and killing the plant. He enjoys poetry and has the gift of gab, talking his way out situations when needed. He likes to use words to work his way into women’s hearts, and maybe pants depending on the vibe! But he likes to take things at the rate that the woman is comfortable, in days or years. He appreciates Weens’ correspondence and feedback, because at times she has told him that she doesn’t need his wooing. He thinks it is good to have fun with words and let the imagination play.

Weens asks him about fruit porn, and he thinks it is interesting and arousing. If he had to direct a fruit porn, he would first think of gay men in a pod, but would be open to anything – dangly prunes, dingleberries, and apple pie. Weens closes it out by asking if he would like to place some of his flamenco guitar song at the end of the episode and whether he wants to give his real name for promotion of his beautiful music. He agrees, is excited for publicity, and emphatically says that he is not ashamed, he is proud of his piece of work, that he has freedom of speech, and that you can’t please everyone! He states his full name, boiled down to David Holguin, born in 1991 in Columbia and raised in Highland Park, Los Angeles. He is happy to use his words to force his way into the pants of your heart!

Discussion time! Mouse has many questions:

  1. How were they sitting when they recorded?  Weens invited him to her house on the suggestion of Rachel. But Rachel and Weens’ other friend, French Barbara, did a guided meditation in the living room when Flamenco was on his way over and they both fell asleep! So instead of waking them up, Weens took Flamenco around through the back door and into her bedroom where she recorded him on her phone.
  2. Was Weens embarrassed or demanding an explanation? She says the latter because she knows his personality and is pretty sure he is a sweet, young Casanova who has a bevy of women and is “throwing fruit at the wall to see what will stick”. He is sprinkling his pomegranate seeds out for any old bird to peck at!
  3. Aren’t you curious to see if he would follow through with the back-arching pomegranate-eating? Weens says sure, but she is only available on Sundays between 10 and 12 when she’s not asleep from a guided meditation or working.

In summary, we agree that booty call poems via text feel a little odd, but that some day if the situation were right and the poems were heartfelt in a true relationship, then poetry would be wonderful. Songs written for girls are nice too. Weens’ friends wrote a song called “Julianne” but never released it. Mouse heard a rumor that a friend’s band wrote a song about her but it was never confirmed. So in this moment, Weens pulls out her guitar and sings a song about Mouse called “Mousey Brown”. Of course it is about nose-picking, which sends her into a recent story about booger relief – something about a whale, sinuses, and a grub worm!

Mouse asks Weens about her panic attacks. Weens says she has been clear of them for a couple years, but she had one recently during a stressful day at work on the hit show The Rookie. It was a day when the air was bad and she was stressed at work began to feel overwhelming. She borrowed an Ativan from a friend in case she needed it for an emergency, but didn’t end up taking it. She describes the strange body reactions that she gets from anxiety and stress – the shallow breathing, neck aches, and back aches – and blames a lot of it on lack of exercise and being stuck in an office. She feels like a standard poodle stuck in a closet! Mouse agrees that exercise produces brain chemicals and endorphins that balance out the stress chemicals. Get away from that computer and run around, people!

Mouse’s family just went to the San Diego Zoo Safari Park (aka Wild Animal Park), and she describes the netted enclosure that the endangered condors are in. It was sad seeing them unable to soar for a long distance and that they would fly from one side of the net, hang on, and back to the other. A lot like being stuck in an office, it was like they were on a bird treadmill unable to fly anywhere. Meanwhile the natural turkey buzzards in the area are flying around outside of the net almost taunting them.

Mouse went to a talk given by Bill Toone, one of the original condor team members who carried a condor egg down in his lap in a helicopter to the Wild Animal Park in the 80’s. He teared up describing bringing the egg to the research center, knowing the condor might have a chance. He now works on monarch butterfly conservation through a group called EcoLife. It was an interesting talk and Mouse learned about his current program trying to figure out why the monarchs are dying in droves off in the mountain forests of a specific part of Mexico. The researchers figured out the butterflies’ migration is messed up partly due to climate and partly due to the over-harvesting of specific oyamel fir trees. These trees contain scents placed by generations of monarchs, and their offspring migrate to find that specific tree with that specific scent. It is a bizarre phenomenon that they are studying so they are tracking the butterflies. But they are seeing that local people go into the forest not realizing that the wood they are cutting for their open-air stoves is the same type of tree that the monarchs need to migrate to. So the monarchs go looking for their specific tree but can’t find it and die off. The EcoLife group works to educate indigenous people about this and to build them different enclosed ovens using different fuel.

Weens hates zoos and cannot stand going to them and seeing caged animals, but they are a double-edged sword because they charge admission to fund the research and to create interest for people and get their support. And most zoos do have the animals’ best intentions in mind when building their enclosures to try to mimic their lives as closely as possible. We hope that most animals are rescue animals and that zoos succeed in their research and breeding programs.

We are promoting our friends at the Boobies & Noobies podcast. Hear their description and take a listen to their fun breakdowns of romance novels where they think “outside the dick in the box”!

Thank you and please be sure you are clicking ‘subscribe’ on whichever podcast platform you are listening! Those are the numbers that will help us the most!

XO,

Mouse and Weens

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