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mouse and weens

part comedy, part life. A podcast.

Episode 32 - She's Out, Childhood Stories, Acting, and Murder

Listen: https://mouseandweens.blubrry.net/2018/10/09/e32-shes-out-childhood-stories-acting-and-murder/
Mouse comes out! No more being stressed about her double life. She finally gives out her name – Joelle Eggold Kohn – and explains how she announced it to her girlfriends while in a birthday Uber, and then to another group of people at another party. One of her friends teased her about not telling her, but understands the reason for anonyminity. We officially apologize for this and for all of the silly farting-out of names, places, etc. No more secrets!

You may have noticed that our last name matches another in the media these days – our up and coming cousin Ryan Eggold, of New Amsterdam on NBC. He was even recently on The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon (not Jimmy Kimmel). This network medical drama is being heavily advertised all over LA, right along with Weens’ employer, the hit show The Rookie on ABC – on billboards, bus stops and busses. Joelle used to see his plays as a kid, but Julianne reminisces about escaping family functions including our grandpa’s funeral.

Weens was a finky kid and loved to light things on fire. She would burn things in the backyard - like sticks and Barbie’s heads - but only because she was curious.  We would spend most of our childhood free time outdoors and always lived near parks or large natural areas. In San Ramon, we would lug our inflatable raft a quarter mile down the hill behind our house and spend all day rafting in the snake, salamander, and cow dung-filled pond! We would hike, dig caves, and have wonderful memories spending so much time in nature. We were always curious about how things worked and would perform improper investigations, like sticking our fingers in melted candle wax and rolling up newspaper pieces and smoking them!

Sneakiness was always a theme. Joelle and her childhood best friend would spy on all of the parents when we’d have our 70’s dinner parties. We were pretty sure our parents were swapping partners purely based on hair color and style (Tom Jones goes with Joyce DeWitt!), so we were always trying to catch them in the act. We never did. Julianne would sneak peeks through the sock-plugged door handle at our mom and dad in their intimate moments. She was a self-proclaimed curious pervert!

Weens was also a tomboy and most of her afterschool neighborhood friends were boys. They would ride skateboards and BMX bikes, although we could only afford the generic brands! Mouse was into more of the domestic pastimes, which Julianne found boring. One boy, David the nerdy jerk, Julianne set up in an entrapment ruse using her newly-found womanly wiles at the ripe old age of 10 or 11. She got dressed up, put on bright red lipstick, lots of rouge and Brut cologne, and invited him to the garage couch. They turned off the lights, Julianne planted tons of kisses on his face and neck, and then gave the signal to Joelle to lift the garage door. With the bright lights flooding the garage, both screamed at him to run home in hopes that he would get in trouble from lipstick evidence of a make out session!

Then Joelle shares a story about a boy from elementary school who was known for picking his nose and eating it. We’re talking Revenge of the Nerds character Booger-style picking. Julianne wonders what a booger tastes like and claims she’s never tasted one. Joelle tells her they are salty but then gets called out for being a booger-eater! She fights back and recalls Julianne’s shower loogies and headboard booger collection. Back and forth, Julianne exposes Joelle’s current booger-wiping methods while driving in the car. Julianne gags through the entire conversation!

Another elementary school prank story is shared of Joelle being asked out by her long-time crush, Justin, at a Halloween party. They “went out” from Friday to Sunday, but Joelle made her friend Susannah break up with him on Monday morning at school because she was too scared to do anything and didn’t really know what “going out” entailed. Then she found out from Mark  twenty-something years later at a high school reunion that it was all just a $10 dare!

Julianne had a story of kids being scared to go out with each other too. Hers was her crush Jason, a tall, skinny, puffy-headed giraffe boy, who asked her to be his valentine on a Friday. When she got to school on Monday, he lied and said that it was his twin brother Danny who asked her out. But the kicker is Julianne had known him since kindergarten at her small school and knew full well he didn’t have a twin brother!

We talk about school reunions and how interesting it is that we drop our high school facades now that most of us are parents and have that in common. Joelle recounts reunion conversations where friends rememberl her as cool when she thinks of herself as nerdy. And the converse – kids who Joelle thought were cool now admit they were putting on a show and were really sad at home because their parents were getting a divorce. And then there are the outliers who never evolve and stay the same jerky people they were in high school!

We talk about whether we liked our high school experience or not and how some people want to bury those memories. Julianne associates high school with tumultuous times at home and mean kids. But Joelle had a better experience, maybe because she was older when things got rough at home and she had a tighter friend group. But Joelle’s friend group would do mean things too sometimes, and Joelle wishes she had been more assertive and stood up for the kids getting teased. Now she worries that her kids are about to go through the same thing, but realizes that they’ll make it through – most of us did! We talk about the Chris Rock special Tamborine and his bit about how we all need bullies. Without bullies there wouldn’t be entrepreneurial minds like Mark Zuckerberg or Bill Gates…except Julianne gets Bill Gates’ name confused with Chris Gaines, the alter ego of Garth Brooks!

We talk about life changes and how Julianne changed from selfish to selfless when she moved to New York. She started showing more Buddhist ideals and became much more giving and altruistic. Now she feels like she’s not quite as selfless probably because of the guys she dated. She has spent “too much time fanning palm fronds on these dipshits” and now is much more assertive and taking care of herself! But in thinking back, Weens links her change to having read Conversations With God  by Neale Donald Walcsh and connecting with the idea that everything has its roots in either fear or love. So she forced herself to try something she really wanted but was afraid of – acting – and to trust in God. She looked at the actors she respected like Meryl Streep and Al Pacino and saw that they went to Stella Adler Studio of Acting. So she scraped some money together, flew out to New York, and auditioned for the school, knowing that out of 5,000+ people they would only take 30 students. And to her surprise, the grandson of Stella Adler, Tom Oppenheim, offered her a place in the school on the spot without consulting anyone else, which he said he had never done before.

Weens went to acting school for two years and worked a night shift at Moxie Video, a post production place for MTV and sports shows. She would start at 6pm and end at 2am, take the Path train home to Jersey City, and then have to be back at school in the morning. She worked off of fumes and was so out of it that she would forget to close the windows and lock the doors when she was closing up after her shift, so she got fired! Sometimes she would sleep there too, which was another fear she had to get over – fear of the dark and being alone.

This fear translates to today because there was a murder right across the street from Julianne’s back cottage! This happened Sunday October 7th and a man was fatally shot, apparently from a drive-by shooter. Weens had been out at the Whisky A Go Go with friends seeing another friend’s band, and afterwards was being dropped off. But when they got close to her house, they saw the streets blocked off and all of the emergency vehicles zooming up. She was able to walk through the police tape to get to her house, but said it was horrible seeing the body laying there. She was a little worried the perpetrator would either be hiding around the place or would return to the scene of the crime. (Side note: we wonder if murderers, arsonists or serial killers return to the scene? Please write us to let us know the answer!) But Weens knew the perp was nowhere close because her security cat was sitting on the porch as if nothing happened. Usually she slinks away if another person comes up the driveway.

The cat triggers us to discuss varmints that have been in or around our house. So Joelle tells her story about a scary night in her a cottage alone. She was sleeping and was woken up by a sound like scratching on glass. Mouse called the police and was sure that someone had broken into her house and was hiding in the bathroom.  But the police came, found nothing, and waited until they heard the sound again. It turned out to be a family of possums burrowing under the porcelain bathtub. It’s freaky living alone as a woman. Julianne gets messages on her fence from past clients of the former tenant – a sexy massage lady! So sometimes random guys will come down her driveway looking for a massage. Weens stands at her window and waggles her finger “no!”, like a disappointed grandmother!

We close it out by explaining that we will be on a little hiatus. Joelle is traveling to Rome with her husband for a friend’s wedding, and Weens is moving and also might go to South America with the Celebrating David Bowie tour. Please tell your friends about our podcast. Word of mouth is the best way to show us some love. We would also love a rating and review on iTunes – go to your purple app icon, find our show, and scroll all the way to the bottom. That’s where you can show Apple your love for our podcast. Every little bit helps! We also give a shoutout to The Varmints! Podcast  with Paul and Donna, an amazing, fun, cool, informative podcast hosted by super supportive people in the podcast community. Please check them out!

Outro music “Rainy Sunday” by Julianne Eggold

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